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Old Feb 6th, 2018, 18:33 PM   1
On a break (TTC)
Active BnB Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Indiana, USA
Posts: 70

Iíve had a bit too much to drink.

And now I canít stop thinking about it. I canít stop thinking about the 5 losses weíve had. The 5 babies that didnít come. The 3 heart beats that were nothing more than painful teases. The number of baby name books and onesies that I bought too early. The entire nursery that we decorated when we decided we would foster and then werenít able to find any that we could take in. I canít help but notice all of my friends who are announcing their first, second, and third pregnancies and the showers that I canít make myself go to. The last one I was at, after our fourth loss, someone smiled at me and asked if Iíd be next. I cried in my car for 20 min. Iíll be turning 34 in a few weeks, and I just canít help but think thereís not enough time left. And I hate myself, because I canít seem to give my husband the one thing that we both want so badly.

So yea. I just had to get that out. Sorry everyone.

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Old Feb 6th, 2018, 18:36 PM   2
Mum (Mom)
Chat Happy BnB Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: U.S from the UK
Posts: 2,161
Iím so sorry for your losses, sending you hugs. Donít apologize sometimes we just need to get this stuff out there. Itís not fair, and I pray you get your take home baby.

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Old Feb 9th, 2018, 16:19 PM   3
Mum (Mom)
New BnB Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 9
I hear you girl. Can you feel me giving you a hug? I am so sorry that you have known such sorrow and I love the way that you love your husband. I am here to tell you that I was 39, almost 40, when I had my last child. The reason I didn't have anymore was because of the death of my husband in a work accident, not because of any infertility. I had 4 miscarriages along the way, really five if I count the fact that I lost one of my twins. All of this to tell you that there is hope. You are still young enough and multiple miscarriages does not mean that you will never bear a child. Also, the "right" child for you could still come about by some other means. You sound like a very loving person, someone who will make a great mom. I will be praying for you and your husband and asking God to comfort you.

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