Just wanted to ask really, as my sack was empty I think that other people think, well it's not that bad, there was never a baby in there anyway you know that kinda attitude.
I know my husband (although he has been fab) just thinks of it as not loosing a baby at all cause there was no baby no loose, so I'm struggling a bit with my feelings, I'm grieving for a baby that was never there. I feel like I've no right to grieve like others do but I was 11 weeks in the end and made all the same plans as everyone else would, it's sooooo hard.
I have one of those charm bracelet called lovelinks every charm means something to me and I am going to buy a little star charm tomorrow in memory of my baby, I think people think I am mad but it'll always be with me then
I had a blighted ovum..........ok, so there was nothing in the sac, how the hell are you supposed to know that?? You have the same feeling/feelings as everyone else who is pregnant, hence the sac grows but there is nothing in it!
You have every right to grieve!! You thought you were pregnant!!!
As u know macy i was the same as you and got the d & C at nearly 13 weeks as nothing was happening.
I had people asking "so u werent really pregnant" or "was it a false pregnancy"
I just said yes i was pregnant but at around the 6 week stage the cells didnt form right.
I know the people that asked didnt mean to annoy me but it did. The thing is when i told every1 i was pregnant they couldnt understand that the doctor never did a test. I think mybe some of the older people i told thought that mybe i was never pregnant as the doctor never did a test and i read the test wromng or sumthing We all know thats not the case
SOOOOO what im going to say to all us to make us feel better is that WE are smarter and more read up on it as we know the facts
Maccy, as far as I am concerned you have every right to feel the way you do. Even if people say there was no baby, it was a baby starting to form and something went wrong. If not, there would have been a baby. You were pregnant as far as you knew. I do not think you are mad at all and would feel the same as you if I was in your position.
Hi Maccy, my situation is similar, when I started to bleed and went for a scan it showed one empty sac and another, smaller dark area with what she thought was a fetal pole (collection of cells ready to make a baby for anyone like me who didn't know!), We never saw a baby and no-one seemed to be able to tell us what was happening and when I went the week after the smaller 'thing' had gone and the sac had shrunk and still no-one could say for sure what was going on and so we decided to draw our own conclusions - that it should have been twins and they just failed to form properly.
When I told my sister she said ' oh well I would just think that there wasn't a baby, it hadn't formed at all and then you will find it easier' !!!! It made me feel as though I shouldn't be arsed about it or grieving!!
At the end of the day, we were pregnant and had no idea that anything was wrong and our babies just were not meant to be for whatever reason. I think your idea of a charm is a lovely idea and don't feel silly about it, we were planning for our babies just like anyone else and have the right to grieve for them and remember them in whatever way we find fitting!
Thanks everyone. it's hard though, I'm getting through it but sometimes just break down. It's all about what might have been, my baby was due Dec 3rd and I was already thinking oh it's birthday will be so close to Christmas what will buy for both occasions and I'll be off on my hols just after my 20 week scan etc etc. Still can't believe it's happened to me!
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