I haven't be here for awhile, the last few weeks have been good for me. I can think about the miscarriage with out getting down about it for days.
Yesterday, my SIL found out she's pregnant. She took her test while she was here at my house, unbeknownst to me, when I found out, I didn't think anything of it. She expressed that she felt concerned about how to tell me when saw the positive test.
I'm so thrilled for them! They've been trying for a year, including fertility, and had given up hope. They finally got pregnant on their own. They deserve it they've been through so much.
All was fine till I saw she announced it on Facebook. I lost it. I cried the rest of the evening, and most of the morning today. I've been somewhat ok this afternoon, but am taken back to the begin when I could barely go a minute without thinking about the miscarriage. I was super surprised by the force of my emotions, esp since I suspected that she was pregnant for a few weeks now, and knew it would happen eventually if she wasn't. I don't want them to even have the smallest doubt that I'm happy for them, it's not my nature to be begrudging.
I'm sorry for the long post, I guess what I'm asking is, if you've been in a similar situation how did you get past it?
It's awful when you think you'd just about dealt with it then some thing knocks you down isn't? I think it's all about time and healing properly. I don't think there's a way of getting past it, sorry you've got to go through it again
I am going through it right now. Definitely not past it. (My story: 8 days post mc...)
Hang in there. It's all we can do. I just keep thinking of the future... a few years from now, hoepfully none of this will matter. We can only think we'll have a baby too and those kids will be growing up together. It seems like the end of the world now, but I hope in a few years it will just be 'the kids are a couple months apart'. Maybe I am wrong in my thinking but it helps me to focus on stuff like that.
My first m/c was about 7 months ago, second was 4 months ago. I have definitely gotten better at coping, but am still not over it. There were a lot of times where I would be fine & just breakdown and cry from something small that would bring back the pain (e.g; I was on a cruise in May & saw a movie with two baby Cupids....that did it for me. I was a wreck for hours). I think what has helped me cope is focusing on my husband and myself. We have spent more time together, doing things that make us happy and laugh. That definitely has helped.
Time supossedly will heal our wounds. I don't believe that totally. I think things will get better, especially once we get what we are desperately wanting- our beautiful babies. But, I don't think we will forget or get past this 100%, at least I don't think I will. I just hope that there is a reason why I have gone through this. Maybe it'll make me a better parent or take me somewhere in life that I never would've gone. Whatever the reason, I believe this will all be worth it when I finally get my little one.
dear momma2naynay - i have had 5 miscarriages in a row, so i can completely understand the internal tug of war you feel when you hear of loved ones and friends' pregnancies.
you can genuinely be happy for them, but it is so painful personally because nobody can understand or be sensitive to your pain if they've never had a mc.
it isn't jealousy - but there is this funky part of yourself that just vacillates between feeling like 'you just don't know how lucky you are to be pregnant, and it seems like you can't truly appreciate it as much as i would' and being truly happy for the other person.
and it's hard when people are so nonchalant about being pregnant, but if i think back to when i was pregnant the first time (i have a 2 year old snugglebum), when i was pregnant the first time, i secretly felt like i was living in my own universe and the world was revolving around me...
im the same hun my will be sil is suspecting shes pregnant but wont do a test yet.. grr.. lol
and my coworker is 2 weeks ahead of what i would of been and just had her 12 week scan yesterday and everyone was talking about it and showing the scan pics around work.. i couldnt bring myself to look at them and i feel like crap for that but soetimes it feels like they forget what ive been through literally every day im in work hearing about her baby plans etc and i was coping really well up until now i couldnt wait to go home and cry today!x
It is so difficult to hear of other people's happiness when we are going through such tough times but it seems like it is all a cycle unfortunatly. Someday when your announcing your good news of a bfp, there will be a slew of ladies that are so happy for you but are crying too. It will be difficult for you probably to watch her grow and hit her milestones but it is great that you are truely happy for them, that shows what a compasionate and strong women you are. Take care-
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