Hey everyone x

Just abit of background for you - i have 2 beautiful children who are now 5 and 7 - we conceived naturally with both on the first cycle and never had any problems.

I then found out in 2007 that i was pregnant (unplanned but very much wanted) - i had an early miscarriage a few weeks later.

In January 2009 myself and husband decided to start trying for a baby.

A year down the line - nothing happened. Then finally 14mths after starting we finally found out we were pregnant - only i had another early miscarriage.

5 months later - i finally fell pregnant again only to start bleeding 6 days after my af was due.

And that leads me to april this year. On the 29th April i went for my dating scan - i was 13+3 weeks along. Only i then found out that my baby had died at 11+4 weeks due to a cystic hygroma.

I went through the Medical Management route and my beautiful girl named "rose" was born on the 4th May at 7:30pm. She was perfect -tiny hands- toes - everything about her was perfect.

Since the day of my scan i haven't been able to get angry - upset - i just feel like well i dont know - i guess im sat here waiting for everything to hit me. I know i should be upset but i just feel that numb that half the time i feel like nothing happened.

Anyone else the same or am i going completely looney?

I'm so sorry for your loss!

I found out i was having a m-c on the 29th of April 2 i was exactly the same with my emotions so your not going crazy trust me, as much as you don't wanna hurt it'll will come n you can start 2 grieve.

Sending you lots of hugs n my thoughts x x

I'm so sorry for your loss!

I found out i was having a m-c on the 29th of April 2 i was exactly the same with my emotions so your not going crazy trust me, as much as you don't wanna hurt it'll will come n you can start 2 grieve.

Sending you lots of hugs n my thoughts x x

Nice to know i'm not cracking up - i keep trying to make myself upset but its just not happening - i just dont have any emotions.

I'm sure your right though and it will happen eventually.

Thank you x

your numb and thats normal maybe a little denial as well. I know i go thru stages where I think this couldn't have happened to me. I cried when I first found out both times and then I just went numb, I try and cry when I feel like I could but it just doesn't happen. I think it's a coping mechanism. Don't worry I'm sure at some point you will have a cry but it's normal if you don't too people deal with things in different ways. I'm sorry for your losses hun.

This may sound odd but for my first loss I couldn't cry until someone told me I could. I was under the impression that this just happens and that it isn't really anything to get upset about. I was always told that many women have losses and that it isn't a big deal you just try again. I though ok well I guess that makes some sense, but I couldn't move on. Then finally I went to a site for women who had lost their babies and the first thing it said was it was ok to cry. So I cried! I cried a lot. If you are not ready to cry that is ok. I will tell you though if you want to cry, cry. If you want to scream and pound your pillow, do it. If you need to sit there and write down everything you feel, do it. There is no wrong way to deal with this. I would like to think that when we are ready to deal with the emotional we will. Sometimes you can only deal with one part at a time and that is ok too.

If you haven't been completely bored by my rambles feel free to PM me anytime.

Hugs