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Old Oct 22nd, 2008, 11:40 AM   1
Sugababy
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Miscarriage when didn't know I was pregnant


I am 20 years old and on the Yasmin birth control pill. I started aching quite badly in my lower adomen and then on Monday started bleeding very very heavily with what can only be described as clots and tissue like I have never seen before so I went to the doctor who made me do a urine test for infection which came out negative and then pregnancy which came out positive. But as the bleeding and cramps were heavy and bad he said I was miscarrying. Im still bleeding very heavily and the cramps have got worse since the beginning of the week.

I was in a state of shock at the doctors that I had even been pregnant anyway so didnt ask a lot of questions. I am very very very emotional, Im not sure people I have told understand why Im emotional as a baby wasnt exactly something I had planned to have anyway and it was not like me and my boyfriend were trying or anywhere ready to have a child but I feel really really down about it I cant seem to think about anything else I feel really miserable, I know this may be hormones playing a part too but I feel a real sense of loss even though I didnt know I was pregnant or want to get pregnant. Please could someone tell me if this is a normal feeling?? I feel like people just don't think I should be so upset because I didn't 'want' a baby as it were.

Also the cramping and bleeding, how long will this last? The doctor said it could be a couple of weeks or more, the cramping sometimes hurts a lot.

Sorry to waffle on, any help would be much appreciated.

Thank you
x



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Old Oct 22nd, 2008, 11:56 AM   2
Sovereign
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I'm sorry for your loss hun. Sorry, I have no advice but i'm sure some of the others will be able to answer your questions for you. x



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Old Oct 22nd, 2008, 11:57 AM   3
moomoo
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Im sorry you have had to go through this, i too fell pregnant on yasmin..and unfortunately lost our baby at 10 weeks...i can completely understand how you feel, we werent planning..and sometimes i think maybe the baby knew it would be hard for us. I think its got a lot to do with hormones (they have alot to answer for! )

I only had cramping for a day, but it was more like contractions than cramping...after that the bleeding lasted for a few more days.

You will probably scheduled for an u/s so they can check for infection ect. I think my bleeding, from start to no blood was about 2 weeks (ish) but only those bad contractions for 1 day and no other pain than that.

I would suggest a hot water bottle and some ibroprofen..maybe you and your other half could consider ttc in the future? Xx



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Old Oct 22nd, 2008, 13:38 PM   4
Sugababy
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Thank you very much for your replies. Its very helpful, I was starting to think I was going a bit mad. Im supposed to be going into work tomorrow I found out I was miscarrying on Tues (but started on Monday, just didnt realise) and Im such an emotional wreck I really dont think I can face it, I have quite a stressful job at the best of times so think taking the rest of the week off to sort myself out and get my head around all this.


My boyfriend has been great and is doing everything he can to help me. I have come to the conclusion he isn't grieving this at all though and he is just worried about me. I spoke to him about it just now and he said that if we had known we were having a baby and had time to get used to it then he would be upset but as we found out on the day I miscarried hes not too sad about it because its something 'we never had'. I think this is how a lot of people expect me to feel too which is why the people I have told are expecting me not to grieving this so much, but I think I would feel the exact amount of miserable I am feeling now if I had known before that we were pregnant.

Sorry Im waffling again, its just nice to let all my feelings out!!

Thank you again
x



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Old Oct 22nd, 2008, 13:56 PM   5
moomoo
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They say: when a woman becomes pregnant she becomes a mother, and a man doesnt become a father until the baby is in his arms...its so true. Plus men tend to grieve in different ways to us girlies!!

Ask your dr to sign you off, try and speak to a woman doctor.. try and get some time off to get your head around things. xx



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Old Oct 22nd, 2008, 14:37 PM   6
JASMAK
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Sorry for your loss.



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Old Oct 22nd, 2008, 14:59 PM   7
tillymum
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Sorry for your loss, I'm convinced something changes in a woman as soon as she becomes pregnant, and the feeling of loss is totally natural along with the distress and worry while miscarrying. Take each day as it comes and look after yourself



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Old Oct 22nd, 2008, 15:31 PM   8
Kevsgal
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I totally agree with Tillymum. Everything changes. Call it hormones or maternal instinct, this was your child, no matter how long for. You don't need to meet your child to love it.
I'm so sorry for your loss hun. And don't be too hard on your bf, men do grieve differently. My bf and I didn't get upset til over a day after our m/c as it took that long for the reality of the event to hit us.

for you and your partner xxx



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Old Oct 22nd, 2008, 15:46 PM   9
Jodie__x
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I'm sorry for your loss ! I don't know how anyone can not understand why you are upset. at the end of the day it may not have been a planned baby , but it was yours all the same. and you where never given the choice whether you wanted to keep your baby. Keep your chin up x



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Old Oct 23rd, 2008, 12:16 PM   10
ashrxxx
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Oh honey i am so sorry for your loss, the bleeding will last different to every female, when i mc i had bledding for the lengh of a period, the pains do subside honey, its your uterus contracting to make sure it expells all the tissue so you don't get an infection.

Take time to recover and talk when you WANT to, dont feel forced to talk if you do not want to, take time to chill out to, all my love Ash xxx


Ps i fell pregnant with DS2 on YASMIN 6 years ago, and i noticed another lady who has posted fell PG on YASMIN-strange!



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