I found out this morning that my baby had died. My husband coaxed me into eating dinner, take out because neither of us really wanted to cook.
I ate a deli-meat sub and a cola. I have kept myself on the strictest diet for fear of all those dangerous pregnancy foods. Deli meat (listeriosis) and cola (caffeine and crazy chemicals) have definitely been off limits for the past 2 months. I feel sick now having eaten them.
It feels real now, final. I feel guilty like this was a celebration of my freedom or something. How dare my first meal chosen solely for me and not for me and baby be such off-limits foods. I don't know why I am sharing this. I don't know if my hubby would understand..and I don't want to worry him any more.
Have you guys felt something similar? The wound is so fresh..it has to get better
I know exactly how you feel. I said to my mum earlier that I felt guilty having coffee cos I shouldn't have been having it for another 7 months. It's only natural to feel like that tho I think - it's another reminder (as if we need any more reminding) of what we've lost xx
I had a miscarriage on Tuesday morning and that night I had some wine with friends, I just tried to think of it as well I'm stuck waiting a bit till we can try again, there is no getting the baby back, I might as well enjoy a few of the things I liked before I was pregnant. you aren't being selfish... as unfortunate as it is the baby is gone and we couldn't have done anything to stop it... so there is no hurt in enjoying some things that you like while you wait to try again, and when we do get pregnant again we will be great moms just like we were while we were pregnant last time because we will do everything in our power to keep the baby safe! I would only eat cardboard for 9 months if it would have made things turn out differently, but it didn't and now there is no harm in trying to enjoy what you can out of life until you are trying again! hopefully it will be sooner rather than later for both of us I miss thinking about my baby when I choose what to eat and drink!
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