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Old Feb 14th, 2012, 17:53 PM   1
Emmy0320
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Have you found the silver lining?


So I'm a glass half-full kind of person and was looking for the "bright side" of things during this whole process. I think I finally found my silver lining, so to speak after finally miscarrying (mmc, i.e. fetal death at 9 weeks, complete miscarriage at 11.5 weeks).

I hated reading and hearing all the "it's nature's way," "something was probably wrong with the baby" crap and it did not make me feel the least bit better. It was my baby and I wanted it so badly. However, today after the ordeal is finally over I think I have discovered a few comforting things...

1. My ob/gyn is great. If she was as supportive of my decisions (waiting to miscarry naturally) and comforting through the miscarriage process as she was I can only imagine how great she'll be when I actually deliver a baby. I already know I've got a good doc and I haven't had a little one yet.

2. My husband is fantastic. You know it's true love when your husband sits by your side in the bathroom as you change a pad that makes you almost pass out (and this coming from a woman that's had a heavy period for 12 years) and he doesn't flinch, make a comment, etc. He's amazing and will make a great father one day.

3. If I can handle all of this I think I can handle anything.

Just curious if anyone else has found their "silver lining." Maybe it will help all of us cope with our losses!



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Old Feb 14th, 2012, 20:14 PM   2
froliky2011
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Not quite there but I will move forward and I do have a lot to be thankful for. Thanks for the post.



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Old Feb 14th, 2012, 22:29 PM   3
bigtime
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Thank you for sharing this post Emmy. It is encouraging to me at this point in my life.



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Old Feb 14th, 2012, 22:42 PM   4
Emmy0320
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After I posted the thread I realized that "silver lining" might not be the most appropriate wording. I'm definitely not thankful for anything that has transpired over the past few weeks. But I have gained some important knowledge.

I was new to my OB after finding out I was pregnant... I have no doubts about her now. Obviously I love my husband or I wouldn't have married him or tried to have a baby with him... I know even more now how wonderful he is. Although we're all (or we wouldn't be in this thread) going through a horrible time I at least know just how loved and cared for I am by those around me, which I feel is at least something to be thankful for.

More power to all of us- if we can get through this awful time imagine how strong we will be when we actually face labor and how even happier we will be to eventually hold our little ones. We will truly know (if we didn't already) how very precious life is.



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Old Feb 15th, 2012, 15:15 PM   5
aviolet
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Such a nice positive post The support you've had sounds like a quiet dream in the middle of a nightmare. Some of us haven't been so lucky, makes me very happy inside to know your husband has been there for you

It's a very healthy thing to look for growth in our pain. A silver lining doesn't mean you have to be happy this happened. it's about finding good in the midst of tragedy. That's all I could do when I lost Justice. There was no "reason for" my loss - but there had to be a purpose that could come FROM it. I named her Justice because I believed in her spirit, in her affect she had on me. Her life and too-soon passing would be justified. She showed me what it meant to love in a way I'd never loved before. She showed me a selfless fragile unique love and life and made me grateful for having known it. When I otherwise used to have a very dark outlook on the world, she revealed to me the purity and innocence I'd lost somewhere sometime ago. She also knocked me off my high horse - I never understood the desire to be a mother. I see the importance of it now.

My baby blazed a trail no one else could have. Though she went to Heaven too soon, I know she's happiest there, and I'll be reunited with her someday. Until then - she's got the best of both worlds, the innocence and youth of her spirit, and the wisdom of the Lord in Heaven.




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Old Feb 15th, 2012, 17:51 PM   6
SabrinaKat
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My silver lining is:

1. After I mc'ed in 2009, I realised I could get pregnant (I had been told due to PCOS that I probably couldn't get pregnant on my own (would need assistance). My OH and I united to try IVF, but I eventually got pregnant naturally again and had a little boy earlier this month. He is the most precious thing to me, and had I not had an mc, perhaps I would never had had him.

2. It gave me compassion and courage to grab 'life' and to appreciate the little things (trite, I know!) and also, to try and help others to 'survive' mc

3. I made loads of good friends on BnB when I became pregnant again!

best wishes



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