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Old Feb 16th, 2012, 17:50 PM   1
Grieving30
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Found out I've had a missed miscarriage


Hi everyone,

I'm new here. I joined so I could talk about my experience hoping it will help. I'm not sure where to begin, but here's a bit of my story.

I found out in mid-December that I was pregnant. It wasn't planned, but from that 1st test I was excited. It was my 1st pregnancy. Well, I went this past Monday for my 1st ultrasound, to check the baby and the dates. I had had no indication anything was wrong...no cramping, spotting, etc. I should've been 11 weeks, 6 days. Well, I was blindsided when they told me there was no heartbeat and baby was measuring about 8 weeks. I'm heartbroken. I tried so hard to do everything right... I ate healthy, gave up all caffeine, alcohol, etc, took no medication, took prenatal vitamins faithfully, etc. I'm so mad. I want to wake up and this all be a bad dream. It's funny, I didn't really realize how attached I was to this baby till it was gone. I've been going to work then when I get home all I want to do is lay in bed and cry. A gal at work is 15 weeks pregnant and she just started and knows nothing about my mc. She mentioned her pregnancy and I just pretended not to hear. Then the ones who do know don't acknowledge it. One gal was rather insensitive today, although I'm sure it wasn't intentional. I would rather people acknowledge I've had a real loss. My boss, family, and friends have been supportive.

Tomorrow I'm getting another ultrasound which I requested for my own peace of mind. Then in 2 weeks I go back to the Dr. I'm hoping my body will expel the baby naturally and that a D&C won't be necessary. I just hate this. It really sucks.



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Old Feb 16th, 2012, 17:58 PM   2
elm
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So sorry for your loss x It's been nearly a week since I found out (found out at 11+5, miscarried at 11+6, baby stopped growing at 7 weeks). I keep coming back here tonight because I'm feeling low and haven't got anything to do with those feelings.

It seems from what I've been reading that the vast majority, if not all early pregnancy losses are due to chromosomal abnormalities and that there's nothing that could prevent them. I saw a herbalist who was able to give me some herbs to help things along and to help stabilize my grief. Did they discuss using drugs to start things off? I was told an option for me would be a tablet followed by a tampon with drugs on that should expel everything quickly.

It really does suck. I feel like I'm just waiting not til we can ttc again and I know that could be ages away. Just ordered a load of tests and ovulation predictor things just so I can feel like I'm doing something x



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Old Feb 16th, 2012, 18:11 PM   3
Grieving30
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Thanks for your post. I know what you mean about feeling low. It seems cruel that my body gave no indication that there was anything wrong, but has continued as if the pregnancy is viable.

I read that there's a med that can help you miscarry, but when I researched it some women bled too much and things like that which kind of scared me. If my body doesn't pass it before I go back I may ask about it, but I'm really hoping my body will do it naturally. So far I've had no cramping or spotting, though.



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Old Feb 17th, 2012, 03:17 AM   4
mollymay
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Im soooo sorry about your loss too. I know how your feeling too well, last week my body would not do a natuaral mc - as i mc 1st baby natural, and had anougher baby inside still. I was 14 weeks, but they died at 7 weeks.
I had to to have medical mangement, Sunday just gone. very hard. But hopefull your body will do it for you!
As long as you got good support at home, and come on this site (seems to help me). It must be awful that some one at your office is pregnant! I find it hard to look at woman pregnant.

Good luck, your not on your own.......god bless you x x x x



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Old Feb 17th, 2012, 05:51 AM   5
Dotty_B
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Hi all,

So sorry to hear everyones stories on here, I feel exactly the same I had a MMC confirmed at the 3 month scan 29/11. 'Luckily' (if that's the right word) I miscarried naturally 5 days later and I seem to have regulated quite quickly but the emotional side is still as raw as the day I found out. We're now stuck in 'do we TTC again' land, where you desperately want a child but are so scared it'll happen again you feel like you're in a horrible catch-22 nightmare.

I hope everyone is as ok as can be, and that 2012 brings us all more luck and a successful bump xx



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Old Feb 17th, 2012, 08:38 AM   6
too_scared
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i also had a mmc. my baby stopped growing at 6 weeks. i woke up sunday morning bleeding and went to the er. i was 10 weeks then.

wednesday i had an ultrasound to give us the horrible news.

i am also hoping things will happen naturally. i am still waiting. i had brown spotting that progressively got heavier and since last night there has been quite a bit of red mixed in. still no cramping. i just don't know when it is going to happen. i am just so scared.

to you.



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Old Feb 17th, 2012, 14:28 PM   7
beinghopeful
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grieving30 View Post
Hi everyone,

I'm new here. I joined so I could talk about my experience hoping it will help. I'm not sure where to begin, but here's a bit of my story.

I found out in mid-December that I was pregnant. It wasn't planned, but from that 1st test I was excited. It was my 1st pregnancy. Well, I went this past Monday for my 1st ultrasound, to check the baby and the dates. I had had no indication anything was wrong...no cramping, spotting, etc. I should've been 11 weeks, 6 days. Well, I was blindsided when they told me there was no heartbeat and baby was measuring about 8 weeks. I'm heartbroken. I tried so hard to do everything right... I ate healthy, gave up all caffeine, alcohol, etc, took no medication, took prenatal vitamins faithfully, etc. I'm so mad. I want to wake up and this all be a bad dream. It's funny, I didn't really realize how attached I was to this baby till it was gone. I've been going to work then when I get home all I want to do is lay in bed and cry. A gal at work is 15 weeks pregnant and she just started and knows nothing about my mc. She mentioned her pregnancy and I just pretended not to hear. Then the ones who do know don't acknowledge it. One gal was rather insensitive today, although I'm sure it wasn't intentional. I would rather people acknowledge I've had a real loss. My boss, family, and friends have been supportive.

Tomorrow I'm getting another ultrasound which I requested for my own peace of mind. Then in 2 weeks I go back to the Dr. I'm hoping my body will expel the baby naturally and that a D&C won't be necessary. I just hate this. It really sucks.
Hi,

I am new on here too.

Really sorry for your loss, I had a missed miscarriage at the end of October I only found out at my 12+3 weeks scan my baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks. It is totally devastating news as I had no signs or symptoms. unfortunately I had to have a D&C as it would not pass naturally. If you can use the work lucky everything went well. It was very scary as I had never had an operation before and was put onto a ward with pregnant women but to be honest I was just glad to have had it done so that I could get home and grieve. Emotionally it is a very hard road to travel. I struggle to cope when I see a new born baby or a pregnant woman. My Husband and I did decide to start trying again as soon as my body returned to normal, no luck as yet but we are hopeful we have to be.



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Old Feb 17th, 2012, 19:14 PM   8
Grieving30
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Join Date: Feb 2012
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I'm very sorry for others' losses, too. Very sad to read about. I never imagined how hard a miscarriage is to go through.

I went for another ultrasound today, mostly just to help me process this. No heartbeat and baby measured 8 wks 3 d when I would've been 12 wks 3 d today. I got a pedicure about 4 weeks ago and I can't help but wonder about if it affected my pregnancy. My mom's here for the weekend which is comforting.

I won't be ttc again. This baby was an unplanned surprise. I'm not with the father anymore.

It all just makes me sad...



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Old Feb 17th, 2012, 23:44 PM   9
SmileyCat
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So hard to read about your losses, but comforting to know I'm not alone in trying to figure out the emotions that come with a loss! I had my first miscarriage last week. I was 12 weeks when I started bleeding, and I knew immediately that something wasn't right. Ultrasound comfirmed that growth stopped at 9 weeks. I feel cheated by my body. I wanted a D&C as I didn't think I could emotionally handle the waiting period for my body to pass it naturally. Since I was considered "stable", I kept getting bumped off the list for the OR to have the procedure done, and so I opted for the medication that speeds things along. I feel like the doctor wasn't super honest with me, he said i would experience "cramping". What he should have said is that your body goes into labour and you experience contractions, etc. It was a rough go, but it was over within a matter of hours. Another ultrasound confirmed the medication did what it was supposed to do, and now I'm just waiting for my hormones to return to normal.

My daughter has been a lifesaver (she's 16 months). She expects nothing different of me, and that has made it easier to get through each day. I'm struggling to communicate with my husband however, he is in such a good place already and I'm still feeling like a bit of a wreck!



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Old Feb 18th, 2012, 00:57 AM   10
Emmy0320
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I'm so sorry for your loss. I was recently in a similar position. On 1/26 we found out at a 9 week ultrasound that there was no heartbeat... but baby and sack measured 9 weeks. Our LO likely died that day or the day before. I would never have known had we not elected to have the early US at a private facility as I had no bleeding or cramps. I just miscarried naturally at 11.5 weeks. Spotting started on Sunday and I passed the bulk of things on Monday. I'm still bleeding but things should be over soon. Had I not had the early scan (purely because I wanted pictures and piece of mind) I would have had no idea as my first US with my OB wasn't scheduled until 12 weeks.

I'm thinking of you and please let us know if you need anything. Our bodies are amazing (even when they don't work as desired) and I've been amazed by how "smoothly" (if that's even possible) things have gone. So sorry again... I know just how sad this time can be!



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