Those were the words from my own husband this morninf along with we are lucky we've got 2 healthy babies as some people can't have them.

He then proceeded to ask me if what he said was good a helped. I told him no and he took the huff. Why don't men understand? I know there was something wrong with baby and it was best not to be here but it doesn't mean it wasn't wanted x

Men are very good at saying the wrong thing, somehow in their man brain things seem reassuring but they really aren't

Of course you ARE lucky to have 2 healthy children and you obviously know that but that doesn't stop your heart yearning for more or grieving for the baby you expected to have
Thinking of you sweetheart xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I found out the 23rd of this month that I had a blighted ovum at 10.5 weeks (baby started forming, but stopped shortly after, but my body didn't get the message and continued on like I was pregnant)
My doctor said to me, "There's not really anything to mourn since there's no baby there."
This didn't make me feel better and made me angry that he'd say that.
My husband on the other hand finds comfort in it and refuses to believe that there was ever a baby there no matter how many site I show him that say at one point there was.
It irritates me, but then I suppose if it helps him deal with what happened I shouldn't take that from him.
I don't think men totally understand how it is for us. I think they try, but it's not the same since it's not their body going through it.

We managed to speak on Sunday night and he said he hadn't showed emotion as he knew what I was going through was much worse.

Spoke to him through texts today and he said I never realised how much you wanted a baby, why didn't you speak about it before. I told him that I didn't before, but now I do. Going to sit down and talk properly about it tonight I think. I will change his mind x

when i had my mmc in 09 my oh said that u have 3 cant u just be happy with what u have i could have bloody killed it lol

it took me a year to talk him in to have another 1 and i got pregnant first month and she is 15 months now and my oh adores her.

men just open up there mouths and dont think.

Hi, sorry for your loss. People don`t understand unless they have been there themselves.

In 2009 my DH and I tried for baby 3, we had two already at the time, DS 7 & DD 4. however at 10 weeks (8 weeks gestation) we had MMC. We decided to try again after 1 AF and in May 2010 had another lovely little boy.

My DH then said that was it and no more.

Last October, age 40, i became pregnant again by accident. Sadly at 17 weeks on 9th jan, we found baby had died at 13-14 weeks. I was devastated. DH was also very upset, but had only just started to get his head around the fact we were having another.

The fact I already have 3 healthy children does not make the fact that i have lost another any less painful. It was still my baby no matter whether i had none or 3.

I am now desperate to try again as soon as possible, due to my age DH is very worried this will happen again, but to me it is a risk that has to be taken.

I don`t think really understand how strong the maternal instinct is and how we have such an overwhelming need to have another child and to be mothers again.

i have tried to explain this to DH and I think he understands now how much i need to do this again.

Once you have your talk with DH and explain fully how you feel, hopefully he will understand how strong your feelings are about this.

I really hope all works out for you and you get your much wanted rainbow.

when people tell me i can just have another (or similarly that people should be grateful for the ones they have) i ask them if they have children.. if no. i tell them to shut up then. if yes.. i ask which one they'd choose to lose.. it shuts them up real quick.

I still miss the LO lost in 2009 and we finally got lucky with our 'rainbow' earlier this month; mc hurts no matter if you had children or not and whether you had others later -- you miss the one you don't have!

best wishes

Sometimes with a loss people just dont know what to say. So you leave them to their own thinking. You continue grieving its normal.

Spoke briefly with hubby and he said he didn't know what to say and thought that saying that would help. He also asked if I was selling my doppler which upset me. I told him how much it upset me and how much I want a baby. He said he doesn't want one now and wants to wait for a few years as we are both still young. But I want to have another one now and then that's it. If I were to have another one in a couple of years I know I would have to have two not one because I feel it wouldn't be right to have C&T at 8 and 6 then another one on it's own iykwim.

He has also said he wants me to get a full time job before we have baby, but I don't want to get one before because we will start relying on the money and will struggle once I go on maternity leave. I think it's best to have baby now whilst we have a bit of money aside then I can go on a return to work course in September and start back at work in September 2013 when C&T will both be at school then it's just baby to put in nursery.

We didn't speak about it last night as we went out for a meal for hubby's birthday but I think we will talk tonight and I will explain to him how I feel and what I feel's best and listen to what he feels and what he feels best too.

I always knew I wanted more LO's but until I got pregnant I never realised how much if that makes sense? x