Loss at 12 weeks

Storm7 · Mar 27th, 2012, 04:42 AM

Hi all,

Last time I posted on here I was a new mum and it was such a happy time. The reason for my return isn't so good. I miscarried last week at 12 weeks. Miscarriage was natural and I didn't need a D&C but now I am feeling so guilty and betrayed by my body. I just keep wondering if I could have done anything about it... I feel like most people just pass it off and whilst I can put a brave face on when around people and keeping busy if I slow down I am just in a mess. Just wanted to know what help others through similar situations.

x

thankful2012 · Mar 27th, 2012, 05:03 AM

I found out my baby had passed 2weeks ago today & had a d&e done the Friday after. I am so srry for your loss. What happened WAS NOT ur fault. All of the feelings u are feeling are justified don't let anyone make u feel like they are not. I found if I just cry when I feel like, get mad when I feel like it, & smile when I feel like it I feel better. Brave faces are cool but if u aren't into putting one on don't do it. I know my baby is getting taken care of, I'm upset I don't get to do it but they are loved & you are loved. I've really been leaning on my faith too & that has helped tremendously. I'm so sorry for your loss. If you need somone to talk to you cam message me. Lots of hugs to you.

Donna210369 · Mar 27th, 2012, 07:46 AM

Hi ladies, so sorry for your losses. I have just had my 3rd mc in a row and this one hit me really hard as I was 11+1 when we saw the baby's heartbeat had stopped. I think what got me through was crying a lot!! I have really grieved this time and pictured my little baby in heaven being looked after by family that have passed. Also talking to my dh about it and deciding on a memory box filled with my pg tests and scan photos and a baby vest i'd brought and a lovely poem that i'd found. I've also decided to get a tattoo of 3 butterflies flying, really tiny ones to remember my 3 babies by. But everyone is different and copes in there own ways, you just have to find your way. I hope the next few days and weeks are gentle on you xx

Mattzkat · Mar 27th, 2012, 19:29 PM

Being on here is good, even if you are just lurking since it helps to see you aren't alone. Sleeping and crying a lot is normal. I am going through a m/c now at 6w3d and am a mess because it may still be tubal. It's bad enough to know I am losing this baby but not knowing what and why is scary and doesn't allow for closure. So please know you aren't the only one who feels sad, lonely, scared, angry, confused, etc...

Storm7 · Apr 2nd, 2012, 02:36 AM

Thank you for your replies. Whilst it isn't good that others are going through this it is helpful to know I am not alone. I am struggling a little today as DH cousin has announced she is expecting and the due date is so similar to our EDD. It is painful and I am just hoping to avoid seeing them for a while.

Donna210369 · Apr 2nd, 2012, 02:46 AM

I'm not surprised you're struggling Storm; the news of a family member or friend being pg is one of the worst feelings when you've just lost your baby. Does she know you've just had mc? If she does, hopefully she'll have the decency to avoid you for a little while until you're ready to face her. I didn't even want to see friends and family that weren't pg, let alone the ones that were! I only wanted to be with my dh. But i'm 3 weeks on now and have managed to go and pick ds up from school and peer into the pram of my friends new born baby and say how cute he is. Cried all the way home but I did it, and once you've faced it, It's done. But give yourself some time first. take care hunni x

Leinzlove · Apr 2nd, 2012, 03:47 AM

I'm sorry for your loss. I also MC my second pg! It's devastating, and hard to deal with losing a baby!

Storm7 · Apr 2nd, 2012, 08:55 AM

Thank you Donna. The strange thing is I am ok with people that are further along but the timing of this has knocked me. She doesn't know as I have kept things pretty quiet. I may end up saying something just to give myself space though.

Apple111 · Apr 2nd, 2012, 17:20 PM

Hi , I'm sorry got your loss. I too miscarried naturally over the weekend. I ended up in A&E by ambulance and had to be admitted as they couldn't stop the bleeding. I came home yesterday. I was also 12 weeks.it's such a horrible feeling, I am so frustrated as two close friends were due around same time as me early oct and they are now showing off their first scan pictures. One put her pics on Facebook. I am happy for her but I was devastated when I saw them.I just want u to know that u are not alone. I hope u are feeling better soon. Sending u big hugs xx hope to see us both on first timster soon with better news. Take care x

Mar 27th, 2012, 04:42 AM	#1
Storm7 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: County Durham Posts: 507	Loss at 12 weeks Hi all, Last time I posted on here I was a new mum and it was such a happy time. The reason for my return isn't so good. I miscarried last week at 12 weeks. Miscarriage was natural and I didn't need a D&C but now I am feeling so guilty and betrayed by my body. I just keep wondering if I could have done anything about it... I feel like most people just pass it off and whilst I can put a brave face on when around people and keeping busy if I slow down I am just in a mess. Just wanted to know what help others through similar situations. x

Status: Offline

Mar 27th, 2012, 05:03 AM	#2
thankful2012 Waiting To Try (WTT) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Lexington, NC Posts: 285	I found out my baby had passed 2weeks ago today & had a d&e done the Friday after. I am so srry for your loss. What happened WAS NOT ur fault. All of the feelings u are feeling are justified don't let anyone make u feel like they are not. I found if I just cry when I feel like, get mad when I feel like it, & smile when I feel like it I feel better. Brave faces are cool but if u aren't into putting one on don't do it. I know my baby is getting taken care of, I'm upset I don't get to do it but they are loved & you are loved. I've really been leaning on my faith too & that has helped tremendously. I'm so sorry for your loss. If you need somone to talk to you cam message me. Lots of hugs to you.

Status: Offline

Mar 27th, 2012, 07:46 AM	#3
Donna210369 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Hampshire uk Posts: 839	Hi ladies, so sorry for your losses. I have just had my 3rd mc in a row and this one hit me really hard as I was 11+1 when we saw the baby's heartbeat had stopped. I think what got me through was crying a lot!! I have really grieved this time and pictured my little baby in heaven being looked after by family that have passed. Also talking to my dh about it and deciding on a memory box filled with my pg tests and scan photos and a baby vest i'd brought and a lovely poem that i'd found. I've also decided to get a tattoo of 3 butterflies flying, really tiny ones to remember my 3 babies by. But everyone is different and copes in there own ways, you just have to find your way. I hope the next few days and weeks are gentle on you xx

Status: Offline

Mar 27th, 2012, 19:29 PM	#4
Mattzkat On a break (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Texas Posts: 11	Being on here is good, even if you are just lurking since it helps to see you aren't alone. Sleeping and crying a lot is normal. I am going through a m/c now at 6w3d and am a mess because it may still be tubal. It's bad enough to know I am losing this baby but not knowing what and why is scary and doesn't allow for closure. So please know you aren't the only one who feels sad, lonely, scared, angry, confused, etc...

Status: Offline

Apr 2nd, 2012, 02:36 AM	#5
Storm7 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: County Durham Posts: 507	Thank you for your replies. Whilst it isn't good that others are going through this it is helpful to know I am not alone. I am struggling a little today as DH cousin has announced she is expecting and the due date is so similar to our EDD. It is painful and I am just hoping to avoid seeing them for a while.

Status: Offline

Apr 2nd, 2012, 02:46 AM	#6
Donna210369 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Hampshire uk Posts: 839	I'm not surprised you're struggling Storm; the news of a family member or friend being pg is one of the worst feelings when you've just lost your baby. Does she know you've just had mc? If she does, hopefully she'll have the decency to avoid you for a little while until you're ready to face her. I didn't even want to see friends and family that weren't pg, let alone the ones that were! I only wanted to be with my dh. But i'm 3 weeks on now and have managed to go and pick ds up from school and peer into the pram of my friends new born baby and say how cute he is. Cried all the way home but I did it, and once you've faced it, It's done. But give yourself some time first. take care hunni x

Status: Offline

Apr 2nd, 2012, 03:47 AM	#7
Leinzlove Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Ohio Posts: 7,271	I'm sorry for your loss. I also MC my second pg! It's devastating, and hard to deal with losing a baby!

Status: Offline

Apr 2nd, 2012, 08:55 AM	#8
Storm7 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: County Durham Posts: 507	Thank you Donna. The strange thing is I am ok with people that are further along but the timing of this has knocked me. She doesn't know as I have kept things pretty quiet. I may end up saying something just to give myself space though.

Status: Offline

Apr 2nd, 2012, 17:20 PM	#9
Apple111 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: North west Posts: 632	Hi , I'm sorry got your loss. I too miscarried naturally over the weekend. I ended up in A&E by ambulance and had to be admitted as they couldn't stop the bleeding. I came home yesterday. I was also 12 weeks.it's such a horrible feeling, I am so frustrated as two close friends were due around same time as me early oct and they are now showing off their first scan pictures. One put her pics on Facebook. I am happy for her but I was devastated when I saw them.I just want u to know that u are not alone. I hope u are feeling better soon. Sending u big hugs xx hope to see us both on first timster soon with better news. Take care x

Status: Offline

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