Ok, so im just looking for someone to talk to really, I had a miscarriage in July 2012 at 7 weeks. Here's the story, basically I fell pregnant and my boyfriend didn't really want it but I wanted it so much! As soon as I found out I loved my baby so much! I am young and my boyfriend though we didn't have enough money etc, then he went on holiday for a week (leaving me to deal with everything myself the day after I found out. then I told my mum etc and they were all really supportive then my bf got back and the next day while he was at work I started bleeding really heavily! I had to go to the hospital for a scan and they told me I had miscarried, I broke down and literally wanted to jump out the hospital window! Well that was like 9 months ago, my baby was due march 13th, that was one of the worst days of my life! Now all I think about is what I'd be doing with my little angel right now if it hadn't of happened, I cry everyday about it, still! I haventreally spoken to anyone about it, everyone else has forgotten what I went through! When I get upset round my bf he just says "stop being silly" or something along those lines! I can't move on, I have a huge whole in my heart! My baby isn't with me where she should be and she never will be, I just don't know how to make the pain go away, even a little bit! If I could have one thing it would be just to hold my baby just once and tell her how much I love her! Any advice or anything would help so much!
You're dealing with terrible grief, and I wonder if you might have clinical depression as well. It sounds as though you're not getting the support you hope for from the people in your life as well.
Is there any chance you might see a therapist, or perhaps a religious counselor? Just a few sessions, with someone who knows what they're doing, and is a new perspective for you, can sometimes be very helpful in getting started healing. (Says the woman who's got her whole family encouraging her to see a counselor, and is ignoring them all.)
A therapist will also be able to screen you for depression, and get you some proper treatment if that is an issue, in addition to the grief and the unfinished business.
I'm sorry you're in so much pain. Sounds really terrible.
I hope you know it's going to be okay. Eventually. I sort of think this is the most important thing I've learned in my life so far. That no matter how bad I feel - and I've been in emotional pain so bad that I really thought I might die - that I will recover, and know peace and joy again.
I think Stressbucket gave great advice about looking for some counseling. Online support forums can be great, but they are no substitute for professional counseling.
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