Going back to work after a MC

FifiBarks · Apr 11th, 2012, 12:19 PM

I had a miscarriage almost a month ago. I was 6 weeks pregnant. It was my first pregnancy. I am 37.

I have been off work for the past month (paid). I have been signed off work by my doctor. I spent 1.5 weeks of that time bleeding. Then my grandmother died. I have spent the rest of the time grieving. I have been an emotional wreck since then.

I have not told HR the nature of why I've been sick. I have told them "female / gynecological problems." I wanted to keep my pregnancy and miscarriage a secret because my job has a history of not promoting pregnant women.

I returned to work yesterday and the pregnant woman who sits at the desk diagonal from me is showing a huge bump.

I feel so sad looking at her and find it really distressing.

I have asked HR if they would move me to another section of the office because there is someone in my vicinity whose presence distresses me.

Now HR want to know all the details.

I am unsure of what to do. Despite initially feeling I was OK to return to work, I am not so sure now.

Any advice?

sharan · Apr 11th, 2012, 12:54 PM

Personally I would tell them. I would assume what you tell them will remain confidential?

If they know what you are going through then they will be able to accommodate better. Also if there are times when you feel really down whilst at work and need either a few moments to yourself or that afternoon off. Then at least you won't have to explain yourself.

Finallytrying · Apr 11th, 2012, 13:52 PM

Thankfully my boss knows only because there were a lot of days early on that I had to go to go to the dr office, but there are people at our office who talk about their kids and being pregnant and I know if I hadn't told them they would be a lot less forgiving in what I need, like time off to heal, and cutting my hours back later to help me recover. I think your best option is to tell them what is going on so that they know what is going on and someone their may have gone through what you are going through and can help you ease back into work as well.

sol4J · Apr 11th, 2012, 18:51 PM

My heart aches with you as you grieve the losses of your baby and grandmother. We've also been through a couple of miscarriages, and I know what devastating that can be. I'm praying for you, asking the Lord to give you the strength and comfort only He can provide. I'm confident He will continue working in your life and the lives of your family to bring about healing. In the time I've worked with Focus, I know that they have caring chaplains and they’d be glad to speak with you. Their phone number is 1-855-771-HELP. Feel free to give them a call, at no cost to you. In addition, the book, Hannah's Hope by Jennifer's Saake is also highly recommended. May you experience the Lord’s love and care in the days ahead.

horseypants · Apr 11th, 2012, 19:24 PM

Personally I'm not sure you should tell them. Let it be with reproductive health issues? Not sure but didn't want to read and run. Good luck figuring this one out. It's a dilemma.

I'm so sorry you suffered two significant losses.

Apr 11th, 2012, 12:19 PM	#1
FifiBarks Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 46	Going back to work after a MC I had a miscarriage almost a month ago. I was 6 weeks pregnant. It was my first pregnancy. I am 37. I have been off work for the past month (paid). I have been signed off work by my doctor. I spent 1.5 weeks of that time bleeding. Then my grandmother died. I have spent the rest of the time grieving. I have been an emotional wreck since then. I have not told HR the nature of why I've been sick. I have told them "female / gynecological problems." I wanted to keep my pregnancy and miscarriage a secret because my job has a history of not promoting pregnant women. I returned to work yesterday and the pregnant woman who sits at the desk diagonal from me is showing a huge bump. I feel so sad looking at her and find it really distressing. I have asked HR if they would move me to another section of the office because there is someone in my vicinity whose presence distresses me. Now HR want to know all the details. I am unsure of what to do. Despite initially feeling I was OK to return to work, I am not so sure now. Any advice?

Status: Offline

Apr 11th, 2012, 12:54 PM	#2
sharan Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Walsall, UK Posts: 1,503	Personally I would tell them. I would assume what you tell them will remain confidential? If they know what you are going through then they will be able to accommodate better. Also if there are times when you feel really down whilst at work and need either a few moments to yourself or that afternoon off. Then at least you won't have to explain yourself.

Status: Offline

Apr 11th, 2012, 13:52 PM	#3
Finallytrying Waiting To Try (WTT) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 260	Thankfully my boss knows only because there were a lot of days early on that I had to go to go to the dr office, but there are people at our office who talk about their kids and being pregnant and I know if I hadn't told them they would be a lot less forgiving in what I need, like time off to heal, and cutting my hours back later to help me recover. I think your best option is to tell them what is going on so that they know what is going on and someone their may have gone through what you are going through and can help you ease back into work as well.

Status: Offline

Apr 11th, 2012, 18:51 PM	#4
sol4J Other New BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 7	My heart aches with you as you grieve the losses of your baby and grandmother. We've also been through a couple of miscarriages, and I know what devastating that can be. I'm praying for you, asking the Lord to give you the strength and comfort only He can provide. I'm confident He will continue working in your life and the lives of your family to bring about healing. In the time I've worked with Focus, I know that they have caring chaplains and they’d be glad to speak with you. Their phone number is 1-855-771-HELP. Feel free to give them a call, at no cost to you. In addition, the book, Hannah's Hope by Jennifer's Saake is also highly recommended. May you experience the Lord’s love and care in the days ahead.
sol4J Other New BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 7
Status: Offline

Apr 11th, 2012, 19:24 PM	#5
horseypants Other BnB Addict Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: California Posts: 3,048	Personally I'm not sure you should tell them. Let it be with reproductive health issues? Not sure but didn't want to read and run. Good luck figuring this one out. It's a dilemma. I'm so sorry you suffered two significant losses.

Status: Offline

User Name		Remember Me?
Password