Is this a bad idea?

amore93 · Apr 12th, 2012, 11:16 AM

I am currently mc and I am about 4 1/2-5 weeks along. I am in my 3rd day of mc but its only been 2 days since it has been confirmed. In fact, the day I found out I was pregnant, I started to mc. Even though my baby wasn't planned nor do I know the gender of the baby, would it be a bad idea to name him/her? My OH and I both refer to the baby as a "him" (I am not sure why but it sounds better than calling the baby "it" like the doctors do.) so maybe a unisex name that means something to the both of us. Is this a crazy idea or is this something that many women who suffer mc do? I want to give my baby some validation that he existed and was loved deeply by both of his parents even though we didn't get the chance to meet him. I have never gone through this before and I am still going through the process of mc so I am a roller coaster of emotions. Sorry if my post doesn't make sense, I just want to know if I should name my baby?

ttc1soon · Apr 12th, 2012, 11:20 AM

It makes sense. I have known a few people who have picked names after a miscarriage. I didn't because I feel like for me it would make everything harder. But if it helps you to greive then there is nothing wrong with it at all.

SabrinaKat · Apr 12th, 2012, 11:25 AM

I agree with previous poster - if it helps you, then do name your lost little one -- I couldn't (I call the baby, my LLO (lost little one))! And don't worry about what is right or wrong, it is whatever is best for YOU....

sorry for your loss....

best wishes

TJMYANGEL · Apr 12th, 2012, 12:35 PM

TOTALLY AGREE WITH THE OTHER LADIES HUN IT WHAT YOU AND OH FEEL WILL HELP YOU THROUGH THERE IS NO WRONG OR RIGHT xAND IM SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS xx

sowanted · Apr 12th, 2012, 13:15 PM

Just chiming in to say if it feels right, do it.

(It wouldn't be for me...would add to difficulty, I think...but you just go for it if it feels right.)

Hang in there. It's happened to me only once and recently (last weekend) so I have only short-sighted perspective. I became completely selfish and did all that felt 'right'. Self-care: Number 1.

Thinking of you and your partner.

Sprite2011 · Apr 12th, 2012, 16:15 PM

We had just called the baby sproglet when we found out and thats what he stayed! (never knew if was a boy or girl as missed mc at 8weeks, just a feeling), you just have to do what is best for you look after yourself

xx

lovewithin · Apr 15th, 2012, 14:39 PM

hey amore93, name the baby if it will make you feel better - my baby has a nickname too

he got it while he was still there, and it just makes it easier for me and my bf - "it" is so horrible to us, feels like it was just some undefined mass instead of a person. good luc with your recovery!

aviolet · Apr 15th, 2012, 17:53 PM

I gave my baby a proper name (first and middle) and she was just 5 1/2 weeks along. I don't care what anyone says, our babies deserve a name and identity too - it also helps others see the baby as your child, not just "a miscarriage". I think it's beautiful and I'm so sorry for your loss.

blueskai · Apr 16th, 2012, 07:32 AM

I too gave my little one a name, as it helps to make him real to me, and to others too! It was very important to give him his own identity, as he deserved nothing more.

So sorry for your loss hun

xo

Apr 12th, 2012, 11:16 AM	#1
amore93 Waiting To Try (WTT) New BnB member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: cOuNtDoWn CiTy Posts: 4	Is this a bad idea? I am currently mc and I am about 4 1/2-5 weeks along. I am in my 3rd day of mc but its only been 2 days since it has been confirmed. In fact, the day I found out I was pregnant, I started to mc. Even though my baby wasn't planned nor do I know the gender of the baby, would it be a bad idea to name him/her? My OH and I both refer to the baby as a "him" (I am not sure why but it sounds better than calling the baby "it" like the doctors do.) so maybe a unisex name that means something to the both of us. Is this a crazy idea or is this something that many women who suffer mc do? I want to give my baby some validation that he existed and was loved deeply by both of his parents even though we didn't get the chance to meet him. I have never gone through this before and I am still going through the process of mc so I am a roller coaster of emotions. Sorry if my post doesn't make sense, I just want to know if I should name my baby?

Status: Offline

Apr 12th, 2012, 11:20 AM	#2
ttc1soon Other BnB Addict Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 2,686	It makes sense. I have known a few people who have picked names after a miscarriage. I didn't because I feel like for me it would make everything harder. But if it helps you to greive then there is nothing wrong with it at all.

Status: Offline

Apr 12th, 2012, 11:25 AM	#3
SabrinaKat Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Transplanted American living in Ireland Posts: 4,667	I agree with previous poster - if it helps you, then do name your lost little one -- I couldn't (I call the baby, my LLO (lost little one))! And don't worry about what is right or wrong, it is whatever is best for YOU.... sorry for your loss.... best wishes

Status: Online

Apr 12th, 2012, 12:35 PM	#4
TJMYANGEL Other Active BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: SCOTLAND fife Posts: 653	TOTALLY AGREE WITH THE OTHER LADIES HUN IT WHAT YOU AND OH FEEL WILL HELP YOU THROUGH THERE IS NO WRONG OR RIGHT xAND IM SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS xx

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Apr 12th, 2012, 13:15 PM	#5
sowanted Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: England Posts: 463	Just chiming in to say if it feels right, do it. (It wouldn't be for me...would add to difficulty, I think...but you just go for it if it feels right.) Hang in there. It's happened to me only once and recently (last weekend) so I have only short-sighted perspective. I became completely selfish and did all that felt 'right'. Self-care: Number 1. Thinking of you and your partner.

Status: Offline

Apr 12th, 2012, 16:15 PM	#6
Sprite2011 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: UK Posts: 331	We had just called the baby sproglet when we found out and thats what he stayed! (never knew if was a boy or girl as missed mc at 8weeks, just a feeling), you just have to do what is best for you look after yourself xx

Status: Offline

Apr 15th, 2012, 14:39 PM	#7
lovewithin Other Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2012 Posts: 406	hey amore93, name the baby if it will make you feel better - my baby has a nickname too he got it while he was still there, and it just makes it easier for me and my bf - "it" is so horrible to us, feels like it was just some undefined mass instead of a person. good luc with your recovery!

Status: Offline

Apr 15th, 2012, 17:53 PM	#8
aviolet Other Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: USA Posts: 2,188	I gave my baby a proper name (first and middle) and she was just 5 1/2 weeks along. I don't care what anyone says, our babies deserve a name and identity too - it also helps others see the baby as your child, not just "a miscarriage". I think it's beautiful and I'm so sorry for your loss.

Status: Offline

Apr 16th, 2012, 07:32 AM	#9
blueskai Other BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Liverpool Posts: 3,777	I too gave my little one a name, as it helps to make him real to me, and to others too! It was very important to give him his own identity, as he deserved nothing more. So sorry for your loss hun xo

Status: Online

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