Hey girls, I've never posted in this section but I'm thinking it's the right place for my question. Can you help me?
I'm not one to believe that you can spoil a baby. I think attachment fosters trust and independence. I really don't like to let my baby fuss or cry during the day if I can help it.
When she was little, this wasn't an issue - she's always been a great napper and I could use a carrier otherwise. At 10 months, I'm really struggling right now. She is very, very mobile and has no interest in a carrier. I'm usually more than happy to play with her on the floor and I can do that 95% of the time.
The problem is she wants to be with me, 24/7. I know this is normal. But I have to be interacting with her. Being in the same room won't suffice. It's hard because I have to get ready for work in the morning and I have to eat a meal once in a while. She will fuss and cry the entire time I do this, even if I'm talking to her, giving her her favorite toys or singing.
I feel really stressed because I don't know that there's a solution to this other than letting her be. Could it be because I work? Thanks in advance for any tips. I'm hesitant to post this in Baby Club, because I don't want to be told I should just let her fuss and that she needs to be independent
I normally shower or have a bath when OH is home in the evening, but then I just wear my hair in a ponytail so it doesn't matter about washing my hair in the morning. If I do want a shower in the morning, I often take LO in there with me. I run a couple of inches of warm water in the bath then have a shower in there with LO. She will play with her toys and splash around at the far end of the bath. Or if she'll let me, I just put her on the floor of the bathroom and give her some toys. She normally ends up chucking them in the bath with me, so I throw them back and she throws them back in... it takes a bit longer to shower but it's worth it! We've done this ever since LO was mobile.
When you're eating, does LO eat too? Distraction with food is one of the things that work best with my two! If she's wanting to be on your knee, could you prepare food that's easy enough for you to eat with one hand? Or have her in a high chair right next to you?
I agree with you that responding to your LO is important. The more you respond now, the more confident she will be later. It just takes a little time! You could try encouraging some time apart through play - do you ever play peepo? It really worked well with my first when she would cry if I left the room. I would start by holding up a book or something, hiding behind it and quickly jumping out to say peepo/boo, then over time gradually increase the distance away and the time I was gone, until I would be hiding just outside the door, then in the next room etc. I think it worked because she wasn't sure I would come back, but the game taught her I always would and it was great fun too.
Rachel, thanks. I try to do most things when DH is home, but he leaves at 6am for work and I am alone with baby at that time. I love the idea of bringing her in the shower - I think she'd love that! She's really into her baths. Perhaps I'll try that.
I don't eat with my LO, but I need to try that. She love, loves to eat what I eat and is just so interested in it. In fact, I have a hard time stopping her from grabbing things from my plate.
She does love that game, so I'll make more of a habit of it and gradually increase the distance/time away.
Thanks for all of these suggestions, it's really helpful. I appreciate that you understand not wanting to just leave her be.
Great question! i have the same predicament but my LO is much younger, it's hard as my OH also leaves at 6am! I love the suggestion of LO in the bath when i shower when my LO is older. In the meantime i remain showerless with greasy mop in a ponytail until the evening
Re:showering. I put my LO on her beanbag or bouncer and bring her in the bathroom. The combo of shower noise, spot lights and extractor fan noise keeps her happy. If she starts to moan I sing (wail) and run the water down the shower screen. So far this works!
I always put my dd in her door bouncer while I shower/do makeup/hair. The sound of the shower calms her and I also thankfully have a toddler that she adores who helps entertain her.
As for eating...I'm struggling with this myself. My dd is not able to feed herself yet so I usually end up with her on my lap at restaurants to keep her calm. It is a huge pain in the ass but she stays quiet usually. But I would try giving your lo food at the same time, like others suggested and she is at an age where she should be able to feed herself.
You can also try getting up before she does to get your shower in. Idk how late she sleeps in...that may not be an option if she is up at 5 am. :P
OH works nights so it's just me and LO in the morning. I get up an hour before LO. I hate getting up so early, but This way everything in ready and I'm half dressed (still BF so can't be totally dressed!).
For meals I always eat with my LO so he's contained in the high chair.
Showers are always tricky.. when he was just learning to walk at 9/10 months I'd either bring him in the shower with me (we have a seat/bench in our shower so he can stand and play with some shampoo bottles on the bench) Around the year mark he was happy to sit in his crib for 5 minutes reading books and hearing me call things to him (bathroom is right beside our bedroom). Around 14ish months to present he can play in the bathroom and for the most part understands 'no don't put your hands in the toilet' while I shower as fast as I can
Is the bathroom big enough for a playpen? They come in handy during that becoming mobile and grabbing everything stage
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