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Old Jun 5th, 2015, 11:56 AM   1
Khadijah-x
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AP / Continuum concept


I really like the idea of attatchment parenting and have been looking into the continuum concept alot. I have a few Q's,

How does baby take a nap during the day, alone? You nap with him? Sleeps on you?
How about having a shower?

I want to practice this concept but want to be prepared too, is using a pram sometimes going to be detrimental to my AP parenting wishes?

We are buying a co sleeper but would love to feel brave enough to sleep with baby in our bed, do you practice this and how can it be done safely?

How do you cook whilst slinging a baby? Or don't you? Seems a bit dangerous to me?

Thank you!



 
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Old Jun 6th, 2015, 19:45 PM   2
SarahBear
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Attachment parenting is a philosophy that drives decisions; it is not a set of practices. AP isn't all about constant contact, although I believe the continuum concept is? Anyway, it's more important that you're responsive to your child's needs and less important that you do certain practices. For example, my baby doesn't like to be held all the time. Sometimes he wants to be held, sometimes he like his rocker (we use the fiser price infant to toddler rocker), and sometimes he likes being on the floor. Sometimes he's happy to nurse while being held or being in the carrier and other times he wants to nurse while lying down with me. For most naps, I have him in his rocker. For showers, if he's asleep in his rocker, I might just put the rocker in the bathroom. Otherwise, I shower while my husband can hold him. That's mostly for his safety since we have a 2.5 year old!

As far as a pram goes, I have an umbrella stroller. As a result, I didn't put my older child into any form of stroller until she was about 5 months old (should have waited a little longer though as umbrella strollers aren't designed for babies who can't sit independently) and my 2.5 month old has never been in a stroller. I also don't use the car-seat outside of the car to carry my baby. However, if you're baby is happy in a stroller or pram or even prefers it to being carried, there's nothing wrong with it. The key is to be responsive to your child. It's easier to respond to a child that you are wearing or carrying than it is to a child in a stroller/pram. Also, many babies prefer to be closer to mom and carrying your baby allows that.

I do have my baby in bed with me. I have the mattress on the floor so that when he learns to roll, falling from the bed won't hurt him. The issue with bedrails is that they can become entrapment hazards. Headboards and bed frames and beds against walls can also be entrapment hazards. I always keep my arm between his head and the pillow. If he scoots up, the pillow can be a suffocation hazard. I use thin blankets (nothing is fluffy) and make sure his arms are above it so that it doesn't cover his face if he moves his arms. My daughter (2.5) is on the other side of me so that she can't roll on him, kick him, or hit him. The mattress is fairly firm (again, nothing is fluffy).

I have cooked with my body turned from the stove and at arms length while wearing a baby. I have also had my husband hold Leo while I cook. Sometimes my husband is the one cooking. And other times he's in the rocker. I didn't use the carrier a whole lot at home with my first because it seemed like every time I got her in, she peed or something. With my second, he needed the carrier quite a it in the early days, but as time has gone on, he can be quite happy in the rocker.



 
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Old Jun 6th, 2015, 20:01 PM   3
HopefulEm
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I nap with DD, or at least lie in bed with her on my kindle while she sleeps. She also naps in my woven wrap sometimes while I'm busy doing things.

We bedshare at night as well. You can google safe co-sleeping/bedsharing habits, but some rules of thumb are keep yourself drug free, have a bed rail or mattress on the floor, make sure baby is not going to get their head covered in blankets or pillows, and be wary of sleeping partners who will not be instinctively aware of baby while they sleep like you will be.

We don't own a pram. I've found I've not needed or wanted one. As for if you get one, that's a personal choice. Personally I love always having her close, and because I'm constantly wearing her, I'm growing stronger as she gets heavier, so her weight now at almost 15 months (20 lbs) doesn't bother me.

I do cook sometimes with her in the wrap even though it's not particularly advised. I'm just very careful, and keep my body turned to the side when dealing with hot things so she's as far from what I'm doing as possible.

Oh and for bathing, I switched to taking baths instead of showers because I can take DD in with me. She used to cry and cry when I left her with her daddy to take a shower or when I bathed her in the sink, but as soon as I started taking her in the bath with me she was happy as a clam.

It's great you're doing AP. It's so great for LO. Good luck on your journey.



 
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Old Jun 7th, 2015, 21:41 PM   4
minties
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Attachment parenting for me is an emotional attachment that allows me to read my childrens signals and attend to their needs promptly and lovingly. It doesn't mean we are in constant physical contact, though we often are :-).



 
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Old Jun 8th, 2015, 23:46 PM   5
Hippiemomlife
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I never prepared myself for a certain method of parenting, and maybe I should have, but everything I'm doing just came natural to me (I guess that's why it's called "natural parenting" lol). It is VERY demanding and time consuming. ALL of my time and energy goes into caring for DS. I carry him around the house in a sling, but also put him down on the floor and in a rocker when he's had enough of me. Naps are always on top of me, during feeds or I lie in bed with him and he sleep feeds. When we go out I have an Ergo carrier but we also use a stroller if he seems comfortable (I end up bringing the carrier with me and if he fusses in the stroller then I just use the carrier). I bought a bedside co-sleeper which I NEVER used. Now I only use it as a barrier for when DS sleeps beside me in bed. Never thought I would co-sleep as it's terrifying but I've done it since day 1, and your body knows what to do. Honestly, just do what feels right. I'm also exclusively breastfeeding and people give me dirty looks when I tell them that DS never had rice cereal or any other foods yet. He's more than doubled his birth weight and is ahead in every milestone, so I'm pretty sure introducing solids before 6 months isn't necessary. But anyway...Just do what works for you!!!!
Also. You asked about bathing and cooking... I don't shower often, just bathe and bring DS in with me. And I usually leave him on the floor whilst cooking. He doesn't like me moving my arms so much when I carry him lol



 
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Old Jun 9th, 2015, 07:13 AM   6
Khadijah-x
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Very interesting replies thank you!!

I think the continuum concept is different to AP then, I do want to use a pram sometimes and place baby down when I am cooking if need be. I don't want to follow a concept so religiously that I am not following my instincts or LO needs which is what AP is all about. Like you all say, LO may want to be left alone sometimes and may show irritability in the sling all the time etc.

It's more about doing what baby wants and needs, right?

Any books, videos, links you would recommend?



 
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Old Jun 9th, 2015, 14:24 PM   7
SarahBear
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Yes, it is about doing what the baby wants/needs because wants and needs at this age are the same. There may be more than one way to go about meeting the need, but attachment parenting is about meeting those needs in order to build a trusting and respectful relationship. When you look at the research of what babies and kids need, the research really supports AP type practices, so really, it's also research based parenting.

AP parenting evolves as kids enter toddlerhood because wants and needs start to be different from each other. It still involves a focus on attachment, respect, and meeting needs. It involves gentle discipline and appropriate levels of autonomy. If you're looking to research how to do AP parenting, I'd focus on the toddler years as it's easy to AP a baby and more complicated to AP a toddler.



 
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Old Jun 9th, 2015, 22:07 PM   8
vermeil
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Links:

Http://Ahaparenting.com
Http://Kellymom.com
Http://askdrsears.com

Just do what feels right to you! And be aware a LOT of current practices are social constructs. Examples are formula was considered superior when I was a baby, and you could spoil a baby. Heck my daughter was four HOURs old and my mom said I was starting a bad habit , spoiling her by picking her up when she cried o.O

Just makes sense from an evolutionary perspective that babies feel safer and content in someone's arms (or a sling) or sleeping snuggled against someone vs being alone on the floor. For safety, warmth, food nearby etc.

I don't think AP should be demanding or touted almost religiously as some do. To me its just no nonesense keep in your baby close and bing attuned to their needs.

If you feel frazzled and/or getting frustrated then by all means leave your baby somewhere safe (even if they are crying) and take a quick break. Or ask for someone to come take over for a little while. Moms mental health is important too!



 
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Old Jun 10th, 2015, 08:28 AM   9
fatandlumpy
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I think 'Attachment Parenting' may be a euphemism for 'making it up as you go along'.

... which is what I'm doing. I fed on demand, co-slept (still do!) and I'm still night nursing as that's what the Progeny is demanding. We went 'baby-led' for weaning (best decision EVER when I see all my mates with their kids) and we're going baby led for potty as well. We've never had stair-gates and we've never 'baby-proofed' as my OH is a stay-at-home Dad and doesn't believe in that sort of thing.

Just lead with your instincts and the rest will follow. All babies are different. Just respond. I wish you all the best



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