Coping with "tantrums" and keeping your cool?!

Sam292 · Oct 15th, 2011, 06:57 AM

We have reached a stage where ds is experiencing some big emotions which is resulting in huge meltdowns at regular intervals. Not just a little cry but full on cant cope, red in the face, loosing his mind crying! This can be set off by a number of things - nappy changes, not being allowed to have my hot drink, leaning forward off the bed reaching for the floor - i put him on the floor and he goes crazy to name just a few! I try to keep calm and talk him through what he is feeling "Oh you wanted mama's cup and you are feeling angry" but as the day progresses and these incidences mount up I find myself getting angry too which I'm sure only adds to the tension and probably causes more outbursts.

How do you deal with this without shouting and loosing your mind? How can I help ds work through these emotions without having to get so upset?

fluffpuffin · Oct 15th, 2011, 07:08 AM

I try to distract Isla with something else. it doesn't always work but has reduced tantrums.

she has a book with songs and I get it and sing a song to her. that always works really well.

lozzy21 · Oct 15th, 2011, 11:18 AM

I think if they have reached chrisis point then there is no point in talking to them untill they have calmed down. They can't hear you if they are screaming and kicking there legs of the floor.

hot tea · Oct 15th, 2011, 11:25 AM

First of all, how old is he? His age is what really determines how to respond.

Sam292 · Oct 15th, 2011, 12:41 PM

He is only 11 months old. Usually I try sitting near him and waving a boob in his direction- sometimes he crawls over and calms down when he latches on, but that's working less and less. If not I try distraction- toys, going outside, singing etc while trying to keep a calm tone. When that doesn't work I just lay him down and sit beside him calmly talking and stroking his hair. Its very distressing for both of us!

lozzy21 · Oct 15th, 2011, 14:06 PM

If Niamh starts having a tantrum I try to distract her with one thing I know she likes, if that doesent work I place her on the floor and leave her till she's calmed. Once she's calmed a bit I pick her up, give her s kiss and a cuddle and start playing with her. If I try to do anything with her mid tantrum it just makes her more upset.

CMarie · Oct 15th, 2011, 18:22 PM

Links for tantrums:

http://theattachedfamily.com/membersonly/?p=1302

http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/...es-to-connect/

mackenzie · Oct 16th, 2011, 18:37 PM

My dd went through a stage of this at around that age. I really felt unprepared for it, like she was just too young for me to reason with her, and after a week or so they just fizzled out. Now, 6 months on, tiredness or cabin fever are usually the underlying issue. Could it just be a wee phase or is it more established?

Oct 15th, 2011, 06:57 AM	#1
Sam292 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: May 2010 Location: UK, Hampshire Posts: 842	Coping with "tantrums" and keeping your cool?! We have reached a stage where ds is experiencing some big emotions which is resulting in huge meltdowns at regular intervals. Not just a little cry but full on cant cope, red in the face, loosing his mind crying! This can be set off by a number of things - nappy changes, not being allowed to have my hot drink, leaning forward off the bed reaching for the floor - i put him on the floor and he goes crazy to name just a few! I try to keep calm and talk him through what he is feeling "Oh you wanted mama's cup and you are feeling angry" but as the day progresses and these incidences mount up I find myself getting angry too which I'm sure only adds to the tension and probably causes more outbursts. How do you deal with this without shouting and loosing your mind? How can I help ds work through these emotions without having to get so upset?

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Oct 15th, 2011, 07:08 AM	#2
fluffpuffin Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: a German in the UK Posts: 12,728	I try to distract Isla with something else. it doesn't always work but has reduced tantrums. she has a book with songs and I get it and sing a song to her. that always works really well.

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Oct 15th, 2011, 11:18 AM	#3
lozzy21 Mum (Mom) BnB Spammer Elite Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Teesside, Posts: 23,590	I think if they have reached chrisis point then there is no point in talking to them untill they have calmed down. They can't hear you if they are screaming and kicking there legs of the floor.

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Oct 15th, 2011, 11:25 AM	#4
hot tea Mum (Mom) Inactive Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Vancouver Island Posts: 4,415	First of all, how old is he? His age is what really determines how to respond.

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Oct 15th, 2011, 12:41 PM	#5
Sam292 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: May 2010 Location: UK, Hampshire Posts: 842	He is only 11 months old. Usually I try sitting near him and waving a boob in his direction- sometimes he crawls over and calms down when he latches on, but that's working less and less. If not I try distraction- toys, going outside, singing etc while trying to keep a calm tone. When that doesn't work I just lay him down and sit beside him calmly talking and stroking his hair. Its very distressing for both of us!

Status: Offline

Oct 15th, 2011, 14:06 PM	#6
lozzy21 Mum (Mom) BnB Spammer Elite Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Teesside, Posts: 23,590	If Niamh starts having a tantrum I try to distract her with one thing I know she likes, if that doesent work I place her on the floor and leave her till she's calmed. Once she's calmed a bit I pick her up, give her s kiss and a cuddle and start playing with her. If I try to do anything with her mid tantrum it just makes her more upset.

Status: Offline

Oct 15th, 2011, 18:22 PM	#7
CMarie Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Alberta, Canada Posts: 2,019	Links for tantrums: http://theattachedfamily.com/membersonly/?p=1302 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/...es-to-connect/

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Oct 16th, 2011, 18:37 PM	#8
mackenzie Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Scotland Posts: 335	My dd went through a stage of this at around that age. I really felt unprepared for it, like she was just too young for me to reason with her, and after a week or so they just fizzled out. Now, 6 months on, tiredness or cabin fever are usually the underlying issue. Could it just be a wee phase or is it more established?

Status: Offline

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