We use Persil non-bio but only because that's what I started using when my first LO was a baby for her clothes. Pretty much any detergent should be fine, just make sure to rinse it out properly. TBH I've never actually heard of Ecover causing repelling, it's just something one company said and I think they just made it up really as they never gave any reasons or backed it up in any way. I know lots of people use Ecover with no issues. Are you definitely rinsing enough and using only a tiny amount?
You can use Bold 2 in 1 as the softener in it is clay based rather than oil based. I don't think any others are clay based and the oil ones cause build up.
I'd say 2 rinses after the wash (which includes a rinse too) is probably good for most people but it really depends on your machine, water, amount of detergent etc. You need to keep rinsing until the water runs clear and you have to check this before the spin.
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