what do you think of this?

kosh · Apr 9th, 2012, 05:54 AM

just read this on a website:

"You can't really teach your baby how to self-soothe, but you can provide him with the opportunity to teach himself. Given the right circumstances and the right stage of development, usually between 3 and 6 months of age, it will happen on its own. It's like learning to crawl: If you always carry your baby, he'll never have a chance to discover crawling, since he'll never be on the floor long enough to figure it out. It's the same thing with self-soothing: If you always nurse or rock your baby to sleep, he'll never have a chance to learn how to soothe himself to sleep."

Weezie123 · Apr 9th, 2012, 06:22 AM

I think if your baby is able to go to sleep alone it will pretty much drop off easily and you wouldn't need to nurse or rock to calm them anyway! I'm not sure you can hinder a baby by nursing it for example as babies don't nurse unless they want to! I certainly can't force my baby to nurse and when he's ready to sleep sometimes he pushes me away, sometimes he wants to suck for ages. Nor can you always rock a baby to sleep who likes rocking to sleep sometimes.

And where are these people who carry their babies around all the time stopping them from crawling? Babies let you know when they want to be on the floor by wriggling! It's not logical!

I'm not sure anyone would try to nurse or rock a baby that was trying to settle itself anyway, only of it was distressed.

Weezie123 · Apr 9th, 2012, 06:27 AM

I could easily write on a website "You don't need to teach a baby to crawl, they do it when their muscles are strong enough and their hips are ready so why would you need to teach a baby to sleep?"

that makes more logical sense.

These things are written to sell books and get people to look at web pages x

kosh · Apr 9th, 2012, 07:21 AM

totally agree re. sleep training, it was the "baby wearing vs. chance to crawl" bit that got me thinking

Erised · Apr 9th, 2012, 08:49 AM

I carried my little girl when she was younger (actually, still do near daily), she was crawling by 5 months. They don't stop developing because you give them extra attention, just like days just keep passing even if you don't own a calendar. Besides, I highly doubt there are many mothers who wear their baby 24/7 and don't give them any tummy time or time in a cot.

I also breastfed and cuddled my child to sleep, it hasn't stopped her settling herself. She's never been much of a crier, entertains herself perfectly during the day and in fact... yesterday when I *tried* to give her a cuddle before bed she simply told me 'mummy, bed please'.

Sure, a 6 month old isn't going to ask to be put down... but they have their own ways of telling you if they wanted to be put down. Mothers who breastfeed / cuddle their child to sleep, co-sleep, baby wear or just give their child a lot of attention know how to read these signs.

You will *NOT* ruin your child by showing them attention and giving them love.

ImmysMom · Apr 9th, 2012, 08:58 AM

I think that statements such as that just perpetuate the myth that babies should be sleeping through the night and not disturbing mommy and daddy...this then leads to anxious parents because LO is not a good sleeper and then they start to doubt themselves and they're parenting ability...so out of desperation buy a book to 'teach' themselves how to be parents.

Babies will let you know when they are ready to do something...whether that is crawling, walking or self-settling. My LO likes to be held most of the day, but she does then start to get grumpy and what she wants is to lie on the floor and play with her toys...

mistyscott · Apr 9th, 2012, 09:20 AM

I always fed LO to sleep (bf) or dh would rock him, then one day at about 5mths he self settled in the cot. Just like that. He now goes down awake after a feed and mostly self settles

Weezie123 · Apr 9th, 2012, 09:54 AM

As for the baby wearing hindering crawling I don't think it does as your baby tells you when to put it down or take it out of the sling x also baby wearing strengthens it's core muscles especially for example in a hip carry when the baby starts to be mobile rather than always resting the baby on the ground. Also if you hold your baby on your lap it can use you as a baby gym to push up on and bounce x my baby pulls away to go on the floor from time to time and I always carry him when he wants it.

Apr 9th, 2012, 05:54 AM	#1
kosh AutoSignup (SAAB) BnB Addict Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Argy living in Newcastle, UK Posts: 2,607	what do you think of this? just read this on a website: "You can't really teach your baby how to self-soothe, but you can provide him with the opportunity to teach himself. Given the right circumstances and the right stage of development, usually between 3 and 6 months of age, it will happen on its own. It's like learning to crawl: If you always carry your baby, he'll never have a chance to discover crawling, since he'll never be on the floor long enough to figure it out. It's the same thing with self-soothing: If you always nurse or rock your baby to sleep, he'll never have a chance to learn how to soothe himself to sleep."

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Apr 9th, 2012, 06:22 AM	#2
Weezie123 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Hampshire Posts: 1,090	I think if your baby is able to go to sleep alone it will pretty much drop off easily and you wouldn't need to nurse or rock to calm them anyway! I'm not sure you can hinder a baby by nursing it for example as babies don't nurse unless they want to! I certainly can't force my baby to nurse and when he's ready to sleep sometimes he pushes me away, sometimes he wants to suck for ages. Nor can you always rock a baby to sleep who likes rocking to sleep sometimes. And where are these people who carry their babies around all the time stopping them from crawling? Babies let you know when they want to be on the floor by wriggling! It's not logical! I'm not sure anyone would try to nurse or rock a baby that was trying to settle itself anyway, only of it was distressed.

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Apr 9th, 2012, 06:27 AM	#3
Weezie123 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Hampshire Posts: 1,090	I could easily write on a website "You don't need to teach a baby to crawl, they do it when their muscles are strong enough and their hips are ready so why would you need to teach a baby to sleep?" that makes more logical sense. These things are written to sell books and get people to look at web pages x

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Apr 9th, 2012, 07:21 AM	#4
kosh AutoSignup (SAAB) BnB Addict Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Argy living in Newcastle, UK Posts: 2,607	totally agree re. sleep training, it was the "baby wearing vs. chance to crawl" bit that got me thinking

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Apr 9th, 2012, 08:49 AM	#5
Erised Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: The Wirral Posts: 4,962	I carried my little girl when she was younger (actually, still do near daily), she was crawling by 5 months. They don't stop developing because you give them extra attention, just like days just keep passing even if you don't own a calendar. Besides, I highly doubt there are many mothers who wear their baby 24/7 and don't give them any tummy time or time in a cot. I also breastfed and cuddled my child to sleep, it hasn't stopped her settling herself. She's never been much of a crier, entertains herself perfectly during the day and in fact... yesterday when I tried to give her a cuddle before bed she simply told me 'mummy, bed please'. Sure, a 6 month old isn't going to ask to be put down... but they have their own ways of telling you if they wanted to be put down. Mothers who breastfeed / cuddle their child to sleep, co-sleep, baby wear or just give their child a lot of attention know how to read these signs. You will NOT ruin your child by showing them attention and giving them love.

Status: Offline

Apr 9th, 2012, 08:58 AM	#6
ImmysMom Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: West Midlands Posts: 395	I think that statements such as that just perpetuate the myth that babies should be sleeping through the night and not disturbing mommy and daddy...this then leads to anxious parents because LO is not a good sleeper and then they start to doubt themselves and they're parenting ability...so out of desperation buy a book to 'teach' themselves how to be parents. Babies will let you know when they are ready to do something...whether that is crawling, walking or self-settling. My LO likes to be held most of the day, but she does then start to get grumpy and what she wants is to lie on the floor and play with her toys...

Status: Offline

Apr 9th, 2012, 09:20 AM	#7
mistyscott Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Norwich, UK Posts: 1,861	I always fed LO to sleep (bf) or dh would rock him, then one day at about 5mths he self settled in the cot. Just like that. He now goes down awake after a feed and mostly self settles

Status: Offline

Apr 9th, 2012, 09:54 AM	#8
Weezie123 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Hampshire Posts: 1,090	As for the baby wearing hindering crawling I don't think it does as your baby tells you when to put it down or take it out of the sling x also baby wearing strengthens it's core muscles especially for example in a hip carry when the baby starts to be mobile rather than always resting the baby on the ground. Also if you hold your baby on your lap it can use you as a baby gym to push up on and bounce x my baby pulls away to go on the floor from time to time and I always carry him when he wants it.

Status: Offline

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