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Old Oct 8th, 2017, 14:35 PM   1
Trying to conceive (TTC)
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Join Date: Oct 2017
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Excited but anxious... how do you know the timing is right?

My husband and I recently removed all forms of bc after getting married and decided we wanted to have a baby. We're both 30 and are in a stable place with a house, secure jobs, etc. We just got married this summer and immediately felt like we wanted to welcome a little one into our life, but that we wanted it to happen naturally so we're in the not trying, not preventing stage. I've been so excited and anxious to see each month if we are, and we're not quite yet (which has sometimes caused some tears --- I know it's too early for that, please don't judge )

Recently, however, a few co-workers who are mothers have been talking about the struggles of having a kid and reminiscing about their child-free days. They do not know of our current choice and are regularly telling their stressed out mom stories and then saying oh you're so lucky enjoy your single time. This has really started to stress me out. I know we could wait longer and have some more of that single time, but at the same time I'm so excited to welcome a baby into our life. I've been working with kids for 10 years and am currently a teacher so I feel like I have somewhat of an inkling of what parenthood will be like, but in all reality I don't know fully.

I feel torn up and stressed about whether we're making the best choice for us. My husband is happy either way. He said he'd wait if I want to and he's ready to be a dad right now if I told him I was expecting tomorrow.

Unfortunately we both don't have that calm go with the flow factor. Is it normal to feel this nervous? (Or is this a sign that I should put the breaks on things?) Anyone out there who had kids right away did you wish you would have had some "just married" time first or are you happy that things happened the way they did? I'm in need of some advice. Thanks!

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Old Oct 10th, 2017, 22:41 PM   2
Pregnant (Expecting)
Active BnB Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 194
Hi there. Being nervous is a good thing. I was also 30 when TTC my dd who will be 2 next month and am 5 cycles into ntnp #2. I had been with dh for 12 years before beginning to TTC but we met young. I would agree that kids change a lot of the relationship dynamics especially as you don't have as much time or desire to be sexy for your spouse but I would also say suck it to those women. There are so many people who would give anything to have kids and even if you went full TTC tomorrow there's no guarantee it would happen straight away. It took me 10 cycles to get dd and I think it will take just as long with our last one if not longer cause of the energy stuff I mentioned....
Good luck

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