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Old Jul 30th, 2011, 12:55 PM   1
lissabones
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Is anyone else keeping NTNP on the down low?


This month when my AF was SUPER late and everyone thought I was pregnant I got so many "oh dear", "is it too late to terminate", and "Oh I hope not"s that I really felt hurt. & as soon as I reported that AF arrived the pretty constant response was "Thank God" So I'm beginning to think I don't want anyone to know anymore which is upsetting. The only ones who know where we stand are our best friends, who happen to be married and want our kids to be close in age.

I'm not sure if I should stand up and say "That's my choice, support it or kick rocks!" or if I should hang my head and just ignore it. I'm typically a very confrontational person when it comes to these issues but I feel like the way they act they feel like I would be a bad mother? It's making me self conscious.

Anyone else being judged? Or afraid of being judged?



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Old Jul 30th, 2011, 13:20 PM   2
sammiemama
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Hi Lissa! I'm sorry some of the pe



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Old Jul 30th, 2011, 13:34 PM   3
sammiemama
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... People around you are not giving the most supportive feedback and it's got you a bit down. I don't think it has anything to do with thinking your a bad mom, it's probably more so they don't know you feel ready/are NTNP so by saying "thank god!" when AF arrives they most likely think they ARE being supportive and assume that's what you'd want. Does that make sense?

I'm also in a similar situation. I'm not married but extremely happy with my OH. We are NTNP because we are committed to each other and feel we are ready for a child yet don't want the stress of charting/temping/etc. Not many people know we are NTNP- only each of our best friends. Before my best friend knew we were ready/wanting to have a baby when nature decides it's time- she was a "thank god!" the time I told her I was late, etc. I opened up to her and now she is SO EXCITED and SO supportive! I never really share with anyone else aside from my best friend and OH when I'm late- but I'm sure if I did I would get similar reactions unless I shared the NTNP information with them. I do believe though that once we are pregnant, people will be supportive to know we are happy and ready for our baby.

I would hope that for you too I hope my insight helps a bit! If you know and feel you're ready- you are! No one else can know that but you.

Lots of baby dust to you!!



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Old Jul 30th, 2011, 14:11 PM   4
lissabones
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I guess I could see it that way..I'm probably just hypersensitive about it all. Thank you though, I'm not married either and I feel like maybe that's part of the reason why the reaction is like that. I'm in the same boat..we feel ready and are in this for the long haul but feel like we should just let it happen and see how that goes. I really appreciate your response..it made me feel better about it and see things from another perspective



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Old Jul 31st, 2011, 17:51 PM   5
kittylady
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Heya I'm 21 and I am married but it wouldn't matter if I wasn't. We've just started NTNP but I know if my dad found out he'd tell me I'm ruining my life. Only you know whats right in your life so stick to your guns! Me and mt DH decided we wouldn't tell anyone till 1st trimester anyway because of all the things that could go wrong.

People are too quick to assume your too young in your early 20s but I think it depends on the person. Hope people around you see it that way when you get a BFP ^^



 
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Old Jul 31st, 2011, 20:25 PM   6
SeaofSerenity
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I'm 24 and married with my husband getting ready to start college this semester and are NTNP. And not telling any of the family or friends that would tell family. We know parents would tell us precisely that "ruining your life" and such. You know when you're ready, and even if it just the support of the girls on this board, you take what support and run with it. For me, it is the support f this board and my coworkers.

Leave the other people's judgments at the door. It's really not worth stressing yourself over. I know from experience that is hard, but it does reveal something about those people.



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Old Aug 1st, 2011, 01:19 AM   7
mommy2lilmen
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I am right there with you.
Ignore it if you can. You guys do what makes you happy. After all, only you can live your life, they cant for you!
I am feeling awful by others to about even considering having another. They voice opinions omg....it be #7, so they think im crazy!



 
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Old Aug 1st, 2011, 10:44 AM   8
Augie
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We are too, I'm still in school and I know a lot of people would be like "What's wrong with you? Finish school!" but the DH and I know what's best for us...



 
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Old Aug 1st, 2011, 15:00 PM   9
frustrated11
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Sorry to hear that people act that way. A baby is a gift! We haven't told anyone about us NTNP except some friends. I haven't told family. THey would be thrilled, but my reason is because I know theywill hound us each month wondering if we are pregnant. I think the added stress would drive me nuts. Good luck to you.



 
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Old Aug 1st, 2011, 15:06 PM   10
hunnybump
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I hear ya, my hubby's dad and stepmom don't want us to have kids yet because they think we will miss out on this time of being able to go out and do things and meet people. We told them last year and it was this whole argument. We weren't fighting but they were definately expressing they didn't want us to have a baby yet. I mean my hubby is 28 and i'll be 27 next month so it's not like we are that young. We have done the whole partying thing and stuff and now i'm ready to be a grown up and have a family. And just because we have a baby doesn't mean we can't do anything. Our lives aren't just going to stop because there is a baby. So we just don't mention it to them that we are trying anymore or well NTNP. Stand your ground to them if this is what you want they will have to deal with it or go their separate ways. Or you can do what we're doing and not bring it up at all anytime they are around lol. Good luck



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