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Old Oct 16th, 2015, 14:40 PM   1
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Opinions on who to call dad

I'm not trying to offend or harass anyone if I do I apologize. If this thread is not in the right place please move it. I apologize for such a long thread. I also posted this in same sex forum.

Hi, I'm a heterosexual male. Baby’s mother and I had an affair for approximately 5 months. After affair was over wife and I found out OW was pregnant. We were not involved in pregnancy or child's birth. We were trying to give my wife time to heal and get a grasp of everything I had done to her. Three months after baby was born we did paternity test and I am the biological father. We went to court and did all the usual things and I'm paying child support. We have joint managing conservator of child, with the mother having primary custody. Wife and I saw baby one time in October 2014 after paternity was established.
OW started another relationship with another man shortly after affair was over, he was there for her during pregnancy, birth and until the baby was about nine months old. OW and boyfriend were engaged and going to get married, with the boyfriend going to adopt my daughter and other child she has from previous relationship. The relationship fell through in April 2015. My wife and I were staying in contact with OW to make sure baby was doing well and she was. We had discussed with OW about boyfriend adopting baby and thought it would be good to try and let them have a good family atmosphere. In May we found out OW had ended relationship with boyfriend and was engaged in same sex relationship same month. They were married in July as soon as same sex marriage was legalized. When we found out OW had left boyfriend and was in another relationship, engaged and going to get married all in a matter of 3 months, wife and I decided it was time for us to get involved in baby’s life. We didn't think it was very stable when OW was changing relationships so often and worried about my daughter safety and welfare. We have been involve in baby’s life just as long as OW spouse has been. We are doing our every other weekend visitations as the court will let us. OW has a son from previous relationship 4 years old and they are encouraging him to call OW spouse, dad. Now they are referring OW spouse to my daughter as dad. They say they are doing it so my daughter won't be confused later on, when she hears her brother call her dad. I told them that is not right, I'm her biological father, daddy, and dad. I'm in her life as much as visitations allow. I asked OW if wife and I had custody of my daughter, and we had her calling my wife mother, if she would like it. She said no, but they still continue referring her spouse as dad. I've tried to tell them if I wasn't in my daughter's life, they could have her call OW spouse whatever they want. I've tried to tell them same-sex couples do not have the thousands of years of precedent to follow, as straight couples do. The little boy is already having trouble in pre-school with other children because of calling her dad. They live in a small city and it is pretty conservative, and not with the times. As of now I’m being referred to as Poppy. They said when the baby is old enough to understand they will let her make her own mind up, and call us whatever she wants.
As I said earlier I'm her biological father, daddy, and dad. I'm in her life as much as visitations allow, and they should refer to me as her dad. A child’s brain is like a sponge it absorbs anything and everything it hears and sees.
I was wanting to see what some of LGBT opinions are on this.

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Old Oct 16th, 2015, 15:36 PM   2
Mum (Mom)
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I think the weirdest thing is the 'dad' isnt male. Like why not just call her mum aswell. Its a bit odd.

Totally with you on this 1. You dad and *insert wives name* and there mum and *insert wives name*

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Old Oct 16th, 2015, 18:19 PM   3
Mum (Mom)
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I agree with pp!! Calling a female dad is going to cause more harm than good for the said child/ren especially when they realise all dads are male!!

Any who your are the babies father and you should be the only person referred to as dad/daddy !!

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Old Oct 16th, 2015, 19:15 PM   4
Mum (Mom)
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I agree that it's weird that they're having her call the spouse Dad.

I grew up in a mixed family, so I've been the child in the situation. Back before I cut my biological father out of my life, I still called my step-father Dad. He took care of me and raised me as his child, so in my eyes he was Dad to me. I still called my biological father Dad at the same time, and never had a problem with having more than one father figure. It would have felt so weird to call Dad by his first name when he was a parental figure in my life.

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