Oh Amethyst I'm so sorry for your friend. I can't even begin to understand how she must be feeling, and if I'm totally honest I don't want to think about it for too long as it makes me feel so sick and upset

We went to our baby massage class this morning Pickle was the youngest there but she was so well behaved She seemed to love it too

And this morning we had MASSIVE smiles and giggles which is just so addictive! I could play all day with her!

Love the pics everyone!
Amethyst im so sorry about your friend.Big hugs your way xxxx
I will post a pic of my hen night later for those of you who arent on my facebook.
The twins are still in newborn clothes too at 13 weeks old lol xxx

Oh that is terrible! I can't imagine how she feels. Sorry for all

Thank you all. I'm just starting to attempt to find some words to put in a letter that I'm putting in her card, I don't know where to start.

I know that if it was me I would want to curl up in a ball and let the world fall away but as well as giving her the time/space she might want, equally I don't want her to think that we are avoiding her or not offering our love and help. And without wishing to pre-guess her wants and needs right now, I genuinely can't imagine that her seeing Gabe is going to help at all.

Poor thing, it is every parent's worst nightmare and she is going through it. I can only hope and pray that through the love of the people she cares about she will find the strength to allow her to somehow cope.

Amethyst I aam so sorry, like you I would also want to curl up in a ball and hide away. I would be a complete mess. Its just horrible

I came across this poem. It's saying what not to say. Might help? Maybe the ladies in the loss section could tell you what would have helped them? I can't imagine what I could say in your shoes. It would be hard enough, but she may be extra sensitve with you having just had your LO.

Please, don't ask me if I'm over it yet
I'll never get over it
Please, dont tell me he's in a better place
He's not here with me
Please, don't say at least he isn't suffering
I haven't come to terms with why he had to suffer at all
Please, don't tell me you know how I feel
Unless you have lost a child
Please, don't ask me if I feel better
Bereavment isn't a condition that clears up
Please, don't tell me you had him for so many years
What year would you chose for your child to die?
Please, don't tell me God never gives more than we can bear
Please, just say you are sorry
Please, just say you remember my chld
Please, just let me talk about my child
Please mention my child's name
Please, just let me cry.

Aww Amethyst! That is so sad. My friend's baby was born sleeping at 38 weeks (and I was 5 weeks). Its such a hard thing to go through. I know one of the biggest things my friend said that really upset her was people asking if she wanted to watch/hold their baby. She said that hurt bc she couldn't care less about a baby that wasn't hers at the time (she loves Rosie now and came to see us in the hospital and lit up when I asked if anyone wanted to hold her).
Also if she wants to talk about her baby talk with her about him. My friend LOVES talking about her baby and her pregnancy but every now and then says something that shuts her mouth bc it hits so hard- but that's how she worked on how she felt. Everyone is different. Etiquette says not to send flowers until 3 months after the passing as its still too fresh but a card letting her know that there are truly no words that can be said to make her feel better and that if she needs to cry/talk to someone (if you're willing to be that person).
Its very hard to approach someone who has gone through that. The first time I saw my friend all I could do was mumble I'm sorry and hug her.

SO having a IHATEMYBODY kind of morning. Nothing fits these MASSIVE boobs AND covers my flab these days. I really need to loose weight and get back into my old clothes

Thats awful, so sorry that anyone would have to go through that. Almost the same thing happened to my aunt. A co worker of hers gave her a tree to plant in memory of her little girl. She said that was one of the best things anyone did for her at the time. Flowers are a bad choice because they die, but the tree grows on. That was 20 years ago and she still finds comfort when she looks at that tree in her yard.

That is a lovely idea and symbol.