I'm sorry to hear about the traumatic birth! Care to share your birth plan/story?
I was laid off last year from a job where I had 12 weeks paid maternity leave (which for the States is great) and OH had 12 weeks paid paternity leave as well. I'm hoping to save some money to take off at least 6 weeks and then have my mom stay and help too. I got to stay home with Jax for 14 weeks after he was born. At my current job, there's a possibility of going permanent at the end of the year. Nothing's guaranteed so I'll be paying my own way this time if we do TTC.
If you wait until LO is 4 then she could also be a big help with the new baby. That's another concern: how to cope with a toddler and a newborn!
Here is my birth story
I went for a sweep with the midwife at 40+5 as baby didn't seem to want to put in an appearance! After the sweep at midday i went home, got into bed that night at about 12:45am (June 25th) and heard two pops.....very strange!....thought i had better go the toilet - managed to get off the bed (new matress!) and across the landing to the bathroom (new carpets!) and made it to the toilet. Sat down to pee and then realised that even though i had finished peeing there was still liquid coming out! Rang the delivery suite who asked me to go down to be checked.
We arrived and after having my bloods and urine checked they weren't happy to send me home as I was borderline pre-eclamptic. So I ended up staying overnight on the antenatal ward. By morning my bloods were fine but I was having contractions so stayed in - which was a good job as they put baby on a monitor and they weren't happy as her heart rate kept drpping. Contractions soon became stronger and were coming every 5 minutes. I told them this but due to the delivery suite being full i was just left on the antenatal ward to dilate further (even though no-one had checked me!) with just 2 paracetamol and 2 codiene.
By 09:30pm June 25th I was in alot of pain and the doctor came to check me over as it was almost 24 hours since my waters had gone. I was only 1.5cm so he did another sweep but streched too. I then went up to 4cm in 2hours! So DH was called around 11:45pm and we went down to delivery. My waterbirth went out the window as they wanted to keep a monitor on baby throughout due to the decelerations in heart rate but it wasn't the end of the world.
After a few more hours of contractions and using the gas and air (great stuff! ) The doctor was still concerned about babys heart rate so said he would perform a procedure to check the oxygen levels in her blood - this would mean taking a blood sample from the top of her head. I wasn't keen but was told it was the best for baby. I was still only 4cm and the contractions were coming thick and fast.........this was the worst feeling in the world - i was told since that the machine he was using broke half way though so he hadn't got sufficient samples - so we had to try again! The pain was unbearable - my sister told me after that she was scared - I was screaming the building down, feet strapped in stirrups and she said it was taking ages - dont mean to scare anyone but it honestly felt like i was being ripped in half! I felt i needed to push in that position but had to fight it because i was obviously only 4cm - the doctor just kept saying "don't push you're not ready!" i actually feel quite traumatised by it!
This didn't work anyway and the doctor still wasn't happy with her heart rate and so asked me to sign a consent form for an emergency Csection as he feared being in labour for 28 hours, a possible cord round her neck (and now no doubt the procedure from hell!) was making her distressed and he feared she would give up and wanted her out now. Of course i signed it - although a section was the LAST thing i wanted - but if it meant i could get my baby out safely it had to be done.
Going without the gas and air from delivery to the theatre was awful and then sitting on the table waiting for a contraction to pass before they could do the spinal was unbearable! Once the spinal was in though it was immediate relief! Very strange not being able to feel your legs!
Baby was born at 04:34am on Saturday June 26th. She was delivered and i waited for the cry..........and when it came! That is the sweetest sound I have ever heard! She weighed 7lb 4oz and is perfect!
It's amazing the differences between the US and the UK. I had 9 months off with LO before going back part time.
Yeah - I think it would be alot easier - a newborn and a 4 year old as apposed to a newborn and a toddler!!
Yes, I could completely understand why. My other BnB buddies that had traumatic births are the same...they are in no rush to TTC because they fear the birth.
I was on the opposite side of the spectrum...my son's birth was a wonderful experience (although quite painful) and because of that I would definitely go through it again. I have even considered surrogacy once I'm done having children of my own. If I did have a bad experience I think I would be right in your shoes.
I think this could turn into a really great thread! Hopefully get more people in here soon!
My name is Amy, I am 22 and have a nearly (in 4 days) 19month old son named Drake. He is the love and light of my life and I don't know what I would do without him. I have been with his dad since high school and as can be seen in my siggy, have been together 6 years.
Look forward to getting to know people! xx
Hi Amy! So far it's just the four of us, but I'm sure others will join soon. So what interesting things have your LOs been doing lately? Jax has really been testing his boundaries. He knows he's not supposed to climb on the coffee table or the side tables but he gets up there and as soon as one of us goes to get him down he laughs and jumps off or tries to. He is a very good climber! I took this video of him this past Sunday on the slide...it's one of my all-time favorites as it makes me laugh every time:
Sure, welcome tootyfruity! Are you planning a birthday party for DS or doing something low key with your family?
Thanks, we're having a small party at our house with family, and kind of an open house for people who want to pop in, he hasn't really got enough baby friends to have a proper party lol, i'm already stressing though, i don't really like hosting!
You both have gorgeous toddlers, Lownthwaite not a nice birth experience! mine wasn't great either xx
Thanks TF! We had a birthday party for Jax and he had like 4 or 5 baby friends. Was a bit too much though as there were a lot of people. He got tons of stuff but I should've waited to open presents after every one left and just took pictures to send with thank you cards. He wasn't into the present bit and I was opening everything.
Anyone cloth diaper? I did before, stopped, and am starting again. I bought 12 Sunbaby 4.0s and just ordered 2 Sage Diapers. Kinda excited to get started again!
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