Any other over 35 first time mums? - Page 4

chubbin · Mar 10th, 2012, 07:16 AM

What a lovely load of positive answers

If Id have answered this a year ago, when JJ was 9 months old (and me 38) this would have been my honest answer:
I was never ready to have a baby til now, but it's still hit me for six. I really had no idea how exhausting having a baby (particularly a 'high needs' baby) could be. I feel a bit disenfranchised from my childless friends (which really upsets me), but I get support and enjoyment from attending NCT coffee mornings and playdates at 'mummy friends' houses. I miss my old life. Its like I got so used to freedom and pleasing myself that the contrast is hard to bear. Whenever my mil babysits JJ overnight, I generally get stuck into a bottle of wine, trying to recreate 'the old days'. Im finding it all quite exhausting and challenging. DH and I argue more than we ever did before too.
Now I would answer: I love JJ with all my heart and most of the time I enjoy being a mum, although it can still be challenging and tiring (JJ still does not sttn). Im close again with my childless friends (although I see them less) and have made a couple of good new friends who are 'mummy friends'. DH and I have had some humdingers, which have given us a deeper understanding of our relationship/our own faults and qualities, and have made us closer. I dont miss my 'old' life any more, mil hardly ever babysits overnight and I dont spend any free time I get trying to recreate my party days. I have accepted my role as mummy, and it has made me a richer person. I never knew it was possible to love my son so much, or to experience so much happiness. But please, dont be fooled, there are still tough moments. I have just transitioned into being a 'mummy' and am finally accepting of my new role. It took me a long time, and its a big relief

xx

kosh · Mar 10th, 2012, 09:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by snowflakes

Quote:

Originally Posted by hellywelly

Just to add - I did 'pop' into the other 35's forum but there was never that many posts so thats why I stuck to first, second and third trimesters forums and now baby club - it is so lovely to see that there are older mummies, love to you all xxxxxx

Me Too!!!!! I always thought I was the only oldie around here, so it is incredibly wonderful to know I am not alone!

Kosh, thank you for starting this thread!!!! xxx and hugs!!!

Attachment 351119

I'm glad I asked, and really happy to meet you all

kosh · Mar 10th, 2012, 09:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chubbin

What a lovely load of positive answers

If Id have answered this a year ago, when JJ was 9 months old (and me 38) this would have been my honest answer:
I was never ready to have a baby til now, but it's still hit me for six. I really had no idea how exhausting having a baby (particularly a 'high needs' baby) could be. I feel a bit disenfranchised from my childless friends (which really upsets me), but I get support and enjoyment from attending NCT coffee mornings and playdates at 'mummy friends' houses. I miss my old life. Its like I got so used to freedom and pleasing myself that the contrast is hard to bear. Whenever my mil babysits JJ overnight, I generally get stuck into a bottle of wine, trying to recreate 'the old days'. Im finding it all quite exhausting and challenging. DH and I argue more than we ever did before too.
Now I would answer: I love JJ with all my heart and most of the time I enjoy being a mum, although it can still be challenging and tiring (JJ still does not sttn). Im close again with my childless friends (although I see them less) and have made a couple of good new friends who are 'mummy friends'. DH and I have had some humdingers, which have given us a deeper understanding of our relationship/our own faults and qualities, and have made us closer. I dont miss my 'old' life any more, mil hardly ever babysits overnight and I dont spend any free time I get trying to recreate my party days. I have accepted my role as mummy, and it has made me a richer person. I never knew it was possible to love my son so much, or to experience so much happiness. But please, dont be fooled, there are still tough moments. I have just transitioned into being a 'mummy' and am finally accepting of my new role. It took me a long time, and its a big relief

xx

your answer very much describes how I thought I'd feel when I had a baby, and that was one of the reasons why I postponed it till so late. I always thought I would miss my old life and would feel somehow trapped in this new role. Although it is still very early days and sometimes I do feel it's an overwhelming job that I 'can't do properly' most of the times I am surprised at the enormousness (haha is this a word??) of the love I feel for my son, and how that love supersedes everything

chubbin · Mar 10th, 2012, 09:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kosh

Quote:

Originally Posted by chubbin

What a lovely load of positive answers

If Id have answered this a year ago, when JJ was 9 months old (and me 38) this would have been my honest answer:
I was never ready to have a baby til now, but it's still hit me for six. I really had no idea how exhausting having a baby (particularly a 'high needs' baby) could be. I feel a bit disenfranchised from my childless friends (which really upsets me), but I get support and enjoyment from attending NCT coffee mornings and playdates at 'mummy friends' houses. I miss my old life. Its like I got so used to freedom and pleasing myself that the contrast is hard to bear. Whenever my mil babysits JJ overnight, I generally get stuck into a bottle of wine, trying to recreate 'the old days'. Im finding it all quite exhausting and challenging. DH and I argue more than we ever did before too.
Now I would answer: I love JJ with all my heart and most of the time I enjoy being a mum, although it can still be challenging and tiring (JJ still does not sttn). Im close again with my childless friends (although I see them less) and have made a couple of good new friends who are 'mummy friends'. DH and I have had some humdingers, which have given us a deeper understanding of our relationship/our own faults and qualities, and have made us closer. I dont miss my 'old' life any more, mil hardly ever babysits overnight and I dont spend any free time I get trying to recreate my party days. I have accepted my role as mummy, and it has made me a richer person. I never knew it was possible to love my son so much, or to experience so much happiness. But please, dont be fooled, there are still tough moments. I have just transitioned into being a 'mummy' and am finally accepting of my new role. It took me a long time, and its a big relief

xx

your answer very much describes how I thought I'd feel when having a baby, and that was one of the reasons why I postponed it till so late. I always thought I would miss my old life and would feel somehow trapped in this new role. Although it is still very early days and sometimes I do feel it's an overwhelming job that I 'can't do properly' most of the times I am surprised at the enormousness (haha is this a word??) of the love I feel for my son, and how that love supersedes everything

Aw, that's lovely, you sound like a wonderful mum

And in answer to your question about 'enormousness', well, it is now!

eva2010 · Mar 10th, 2012, 10:18 AM

nice too see lots of us are here, hope you all have a great weekend ladies. My OH is out bonding with LO now so I'm..... here of course!!! Will have an afternoon of pampering soon though

xx

kosh · Mar 10th, 2012, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chubbin

Quote:

Originally Posted by kosh

Quote:

Originally Posted by chubbin

What a lovely load of positive answers

If Id have answered this a year ago, when JJ was 9 months old (and me 38) this would have been my honest answer:
I was never ready to have a baby til now, but it's still hit me for six. I really had no idea how exhausting having a baby (particularly a 'high needs' baby) could be. I feel a bit disenfranchised from my childless friends (which really upsets me), but I get support and enjoyment from attending NCT coffee mornings and playdates at 'mummy friends' houses. I miss my old life. Its like I got so used to freedom and pleasing myself that the contrast is hard to bear. Whenever my mil babysits JJ overnight, I generally get stuck into a bottle of wine, trying to recreate 'the old days'. Im finding it all quite exhausting and challenging. DH and I argue more than we ever did before too.
Now I would answer: I love JJ with all my heart and most of the time I enjoy being a mum, although it can still be challenging and tiring (JJ still does not sttn). Im close again with my childless friends (although I see them less) and have made a couple of good new friends who are 'mummy friends'. DH and I have had some humdingers, which have given us a deeper understanding of our relationship/our own faults and qualities, and have made us closer. I dont miss my 'old' life any more, mil hardly ever babysits overnight and I dont spend any free time I get trying to recreate my party days. I have accepted my role as mummy, and it has made me a richer person. I never knew it was possible to love my son so much, or to experience so much happiness. But please, dont be fooled, there are still tough moments. I have just transitioned into being a 'mummy' and am finally accepting of my new role. It took me a long time, and its a big relief

xx

your answer very much describes how I thought I'd feel when having a baby, and that was one of the reasons why I postponed it till so late. I always thought I would miss my old life and would feel somehow trapped in this new role. Although it is still very early days and sometimes I do feel it's an overwhelming job that I 'can't do properly' most of the times I am surprised at the enormousness (haha is this a word??) of the love I feel for my son, and how that love supersedes everything

Aw, that's lovely, you sound like a wonderful mum

And in answer to your question about 'enormousness', well, it is now!

snowflakes · Mar 10th, 2012, 10:54 AM

Has anyone gotten any comments from MIL or family members about having a second? I love my inlaws, but my MIL has been driving me a bit nuts saying that Lily should not be an only child, etc... But, I do think I shout her up when i said, "Jay (my oh) and my family (my mom mostly) are very against me having another, because of what happened. My mom is scared of me going thru the same tramatic incident and she also doesn't want to go thru that again, nor does Jay." She didnt say much after that!

Kiki09 · Mar 11th, 2012, 04:03 AM

Am so glad this thread was started. It's a place where I know I am amongst friends and won't be judges for being older (just turned 40 when lo was born)

I think it should become a permanent thread!

Lovely to "meet" all of you

kosh · Mar 11th, 2012, 08:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by snowflakes

Has anyone gotten any comments from MIL or family members about having a second? I love my inlaws, but my MIL has been driving me a bit nuts saying that Lily should not be an only child, etc... But, I do think I shout her up when i said, "Jay (my oh) and my family (my mom mostly) are very against me having another, because of what happened. My mom is scared of me going thru the same tramatic incident and she also doesn't want to go thru that again, nor does Jay." She didnt say much after that!

we live 1000s of miles away from our families so everybody is very careful not to say anything that might annoyed us as they know they will not get to see their grandson!

in any case, my MIL is sooo over the moon with LO that I'm sure she'll be happy if this was the only one (or at least hasn't had time to think about it

).
My mom and my brother on the other hand are a bit more nosey/opinionated and have mentioned whwther this would be our only or not. As I said, I'd love another one but I do feel my body needs to recover a bit, and I've just turned 41, so I do not have lots of time, unfortunately...

snowflakes · Mar 14th, 2012, 20:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eva2010

sorry for your losses ladies, but congrats on your lovely bundles! I second the nightmare that is reflux, urgh. LO is hopefully 'due' to grow out of it soon, apparently by about a year I think the muscle causing it all develops.... I would definitely want more kids but not sure how kind nature will be to me over the next few years!

xx

I second that "hoping" that LO grows out of that nasty devil called reflux! Also hope you get your wish for more LO's!!!!!! xxx

Mar 10th, 2012, 07:16 AM	#31
chubbin Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: South west england Posts: 1,544	What a lovely load of positive answers If Id have answered this a year ago, when JJ was 9 months old (and me 38) this would have been my honest answer: I was never ready to have a baby til now, but it's still hit me for six. I really had no idea how exhausting having a baby (particularly a 'high needs' baby) could be. I feel a bit disenfranchised from my childless friends (which really upsets me), but I get support and enjoyment from attending NCT coffee mornings and playdates at 'mummy friends' houses. I miss my old life. Its like I got so used to freedom and pleasing myself that the contrast is hard to bear. Whenever my mil babysits JJ overnight, I generally get stuck into a bottle of wine, trying to recreate 'the old days'. Im finding it all quite exhausting and challenging. DH and I argue more than we ever did before too. Now I would answer: I love JJ with all my heart and most of the time I enjoy being a mum, although it can still be challenging and tiring (JJ still does not sttn). Im close again with my childless friends (although I see them less) and have made a couple of good new friends who are 'mummy friends'. DH and I have had some humdingers, which have given us a deeper understanding of our relationship/our own faults and qualities, and have made us closer. I dont miss my 'old' life any more, mil hardly ever babysits overnight and I dont spend any free time I get trying to recreate my party days. I have accepted my role as mummy, and it has made me a richer person. I never knew it was possible to love my son so much, or to experience so much happiness. But please, dont be fooled, there are still tough moments. I have just transitioned into being a 'mummy' and am finally accepting of my new role. It took me a long time, and its a big relief xx

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Mar 10th, 2012, 10:18 AM	#35
eva2010 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: May 2010 Location: london Posts: 297	nice too see lots of us are here, hope you all have a great weekend ladies. My OH is out bonding with LO now so I'm..... here of course!!! Will have an afternoon of pampering soon though xx

Status: Offline

Mar 10th, 2012, 10:54 AM	#37
snowflakes Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Posts: 903	Has anyone gotten any comments from MIL or family members about having a second? I love my inlaws, but my MIL has been driving me a bit nuts saying that Lily should not be an only child, etc... But, I do think I shout her up when i said, "Jay (my oh) and my family (my mom mostly) are very against me having another, because of what happened. My mom is scared of me going thru the same tramatic incident and she also doesn't want to go thru that again, nor does Jay." She didnt say much after that!

Status: Offline

Mar 11th, 2012, 04:03 AM	#38
Kiki09 Other BnB Addict Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Norfolk, UK Posts: 3,205	Am so glad this thread was started. It's a place where I know I am amongst friends and won't be judges for being older (just turned 40 when lo was born) I think it should become a permanent thread! Lovely to "meet" all of you

Status: Offline

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