well, there are TTC and pregnant over 35 boards, so I thought I'd start a thread where maybe we can give each other support and share the joys of being a first time mum at an 'advanced age'
I think I can summarize my experience so far by saying that:
I didn't expect:
1) to love my son sooo much I mean, I knew I'd love him, of course, but I didn't know how this new type of love would feel. It's such a pure, unconditional, immense love!
2) the first weeks/months to be sooo hard. Again, I knew they'd be difficult but I did not expect to feel in total limbo I'm not a very organised person anyway, but now it's caos, I feel sometimes have to choose between either having a nap, or a shower or breakfast! I thought that by now I'd be going everywhere with LO, but I can hardly leave the house.
3) to feel so sh*t physically! (I should say I am well over 35...). I pulled my back the other day lifting the car seat and is killing me! and the stitches still hurt too
and last but not least,
4) to be ob BnB so much!
I'm 44 and a first-time mum to Finn, who was born early in February, so in-between recovering from pre-eclampsia, c-section and terrible last few weeks of pregnancy (first 32wks were fine, even to wk 35), so am slowly getting used to this 'motherhood' thing, particuarly as we had a mc when we first started and it took another two+ years to get LO!
Fortunately, my OH helped out alot the first weeks and even now, will take him for a few hours when he gets home from work, e.g. will do the 7pm feed, etc., but am very tired myself as baby is a night owl like me (5am feed is very hard, tho), but to be honest, don't mind too much as can sleep somewhat after morning feed, etc. I'm planning on being a SAHM after my maternity leave ends, but will admit that these first few months are pretty hard....
As we were so lucky to have this little one (were about to start IVF the month or next that I got pregnant naturally!) , and probably won't 'try' again (if I get pregnant again naturally, fine!), but it was such an obsession until we were successful, that I am determined to enjoy every moment of his babyhood -- but lack of sleep is hard!
ps. I love BnB as the other ladies were so helpful during pregnancy and now, babyhood!
Yes, yes, yes, I am 39, 40 on March 17. Grrrrrr This is actually our second, I had a stillbirth 4 years ago, in December. But, oh my, I did not know it was going to be so rough those first couple months either... My LO is a preemie and we had to deal with lots of medical issues.... And let me just say that reflux is the Devil! I hated seeing her go thru everything she did, but dealing with the silent reflux was just horrible. The constant not wanting to feed, the constant crying (because she is hungry and in pain), the drastic weight loss and the fear of another hospitalization.
But, their is a silver lining.. She is doing awesome now and is a totally different baby. I thank God everyday that she is no longer going thru all that mess. I am happier than I ever been and I didnt know that was possible! ok, so I am a bit tired, but I can live with that, as long as my LO stays healthy...
Do you plan on having more? Just curious, you don't have to answer. We most likely are not going to have anymore. xxx
Edit: I also wanted to add, had an emergency Csection because of high blood pressure, then I hemmoraged, almost died in my room before the surgery, they rushed me to surgery and had to have blood transfussions after because of loss of blood. This is the main reason we most likely will not have another. My OH saw all this happen, with 15 nurses standing over me, one crying next to me trying to fan me, another pushing on where I had my csection incession and another with her arm in my V up to her elbow pulling out clots of blood. I passed out, thank God, but OH was pretty tramatized by it all and is afraid of it happening again. 134.jpg
me! I'm a first-timer aged 36 and had my LO last year on May 30th by emergency c section. I have two friends of the same age who also had their first babies recently, so we're out there somewhere but not too often on these boards maybe!? Anyway, nice to meet you ladies and here's a bit about me
1. Although I'm an 'older' mum I can clearly see now I was never ready to have kids until I was into my 30s and I love that I have a better head on my shoulders and got my career all sorted before having him.
2. I look at my son like he's a miracle, and sometimes cant believe I made him, I love to watch him grow and explore the world
3. i used to be quite 'unconventional' in that i loved to go on spontaneous trips, backpacking to exotic locations and hanging out for days in tents at music festivals, now I enjoy cooking for my OH and building a home for our family - I once said I'd prefer to keep travelling the world and probably not marry etc not now!
sorry for your losses ladies, but congrats on your lovely bundles! I second the nightmare that is reflux, urgh. LO is hopefully 'due' to grow out of it soon, apparently by about a year I think the muscle causing it all develops.... I would definitely want more kids but not sure how kind nature will be to me over the next few years!
Thank you Eva2010. I think what is so bad about the reflux is its so hard to treat! LO had much more serious medical problems, i.e. heart problems, but that was clear cut, as far as the treatment. We went round and round with figuring out what would work with LO and her silent reflux. Ahhhh, so glad that is over. Oh, I should probably knock on wood, yes.... xxx
i'll knock on the wood too! Aw hope your LOs heart problem is something that is easily treatable and will go away.... Reflux is so tricky isnt it? With LO it showed most at night in that he just would wake all night, for about six months. When he first teethed and was night waking we actually didn't notice that he had a tooth, because his reflux made him as sleepless as a teething baby. Hope you LOs reflux stays away, and just read your edit, that's so traumatising for you all, jeez, it's hard to come to terms with an experience like that! My epidural didnt work for my labour and they used the same one for surgery so I felt a lot of what I shouldnt and had lots of pain, so if I do have another I want a VBAC. Whenever I hear people wanting to have c sections I really want to say they are so NOT the easy option although I appreciate why they have to be done at times,
Me as well! I'm 38 and a first time mum. I've had a career and spent my 20's aand majority of 30's working in a high stressed job. I've lived my life and am now loving being a stay at home mum. I have friends in their 20's who have just had babies and I don't feel any different from them.
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