March Mamas 2012 Baby Group (Closed Group) - Page 148

emera35 · Apr 14th, 2012, 14:51 PM

Cupcake. Normal for periods returning is anything from right away (like me, boo hiss) to not at all until you stop bf. In fact my mum bf me to 6 months old and still hadn't had a period when she realised she was preg with my brother. There is 2 years between us.

basically there is no "normal". However I resent having periods back as soon as is physically possible, seems unnecessary!!
I didn't have any obvious symptoms. My bleeding stopped about 10 days or so ago. This morning I had that periody ache, and now my usual pains and bam, there it is.

ah well, at least I shouldn't have to wait long to start taking the pill when I go to my 6 week check to get it

Glow, poor you

are you dehydrated? That gives me tummy cramps when I eat. I'd pop to the docs if it doesn't stop.

Baths wise here Roh has a bath everyday, so we chuck F in every few days. She did do a massive up the back poo and synchronised vom the other day though, so I got the baby bath out and gave her a nice bath.

Gutted, Over night F's hair has started falling out in large amounts and I can see the start of cradle cap on her scalp. Going to have to knock up some pretty head scarves for her, she's going to be all scabby and bald

currently she's all oiled up and waiting for it to soak in abit before a good brushing. Roh's hair did this too, at least I have the comfort of knowing he has lovely hair now!

MsCrow · Apr 14th, 2012, 14:53 PM

I just wanted to repost an email my good friend from my hometown sent to me as I went into meltdown last week. She's my emotional rock despite the difference and I thought some of the content is relevant to lots of us right now.

My email was

Quote:

Hey you
Thanks for asking. No sleep today as she won't go down herself either unless its in the sling. I can try and transfer her but she wakes immediately.
Last night was as usual. We warm the cot, feed her, wind and she goes down ok for anything up to 3.5 hours but usually less. Then it gets progressively harder to settle her after a feed to the point where I give up and take her to bed but she often possetts a little which wakes her or she refuses to go back into her cradle. Often she just full on cries so Andy takes her downstairs to give me a break.
We're knackered.
Xxxx

Her response was

Quote:

Reading your email reminded me that I bought a rocking 'feeding chair' that glided for £250 for the nursery whilst I was pregnant. I never used it! Allow me to be frank.....

Babies as young and as small as E aren't designed to look after themselves, so it makes sense that she cries if she is in a crib. For her to sleep up to three and a half hours still being only a few weeks old is fantastic & such an achievement for you both - but it may not feel like it if you are running on empty.

Babies this young rely on several things to soothe them such as your smell and touch as well as the milk itself. Think about the term the fourth trimester; proximity to parent equals survival.

So the further away she is from you the more she will protest, that's how she's programmed. Being skin to skin with you allows her to regulate her own body temperature more effectively, drift off to sleep without distress, and feed without too much disturbance if you can master it lying on your side & drift back off.

Until they are at least four months old babies don't produce the hormones in the brain required to differentiate between night and day to establish or maintain a recognisable sleeping pattern, so finding a way to manage and feed (and sleep) is for you survival too.

I think I spent most of the first fortnight in bed with A learning to feed.

Cartoon:
http://www.thefoodoflove.org/breastf...your-sleep.htm

Bed guard:
http://www.argos.co.uk/m/static/Prod...s|14417615.htm

This is the link to the Argos bed guard which we used with a normal double bed when I was feeding A in the night time. I used a pillow at first to prevent her from falling out. But this allowed us three to use every inch of the surface of the bed to sleep on

Principles of the continuum concept (sling wearing / natural or 'attachment' parenting as its sometimes called). We dipped in & used what we wanted from its ideas as traditional ideas didn't suit us

http://www.continuum-concept.org/cc_defined.html

I thought long & hard after I had A about what assumptions people make about how babies are cared for, based on the society & experience of their parents. Shops sell certain products & we are told that you need x y and z when preparing for your baby. We did use a cot but only one which we could take one side off & attach to the double bed, giving that little bit more mattress room as she grew.

I guess what I'm saying is that mums are set up for a really hard time from the start because they aren't given information about how their baby experiences the world, more about what they should/ shouldn't be doing.

Your 'motherly instinct' is the most important thing, and once you can identify what's its telling you, & if you can learn to trust it, most of your decisions as a parent will naturally follow.

Think about the moment in the night, when you describe when you 'give up and bring E to bed'. What are you giving up?

Do you feel like you can't or shouldn't co-sleep? Would you like more printed information or books about it? Research has shown that breast feeding mothers co-sleep very safely given a few simple conditions and the WHO guidelines leaflet can be googled easily enough. But don't be surprised if the HV doesn't support or recommend co-sleeping or if she doesn't have any of the leaflets.

As ever call me if you need me honey xxxxxxxxxx

loolindley · Apr 14th, 2012, 15:06 PM

Glowie, fat arse? I've got more fat on my little finger than you have on your arse!!!!! Group bath sounds lovely though! Enjoy!

MsC, sorry to hear you are having a bad time. I know that I've said it before, but you know where I am and I don't mind driving over if you want a visit, even if it is just to break your day up for an hour. Speaking of which, I think we need to be brave and organise another NW meet up again.

6lilpigs · Apr 14th, 2012, 15:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glowstar

Feed bad we haven't bathed J yet! Mind you, he got a wash on the way out and has been super clean so far anyway so I've just topped and tailed him.

Think we might wait until Monday now when girls have gone home and see if all 3 of us can fit in bath

might be a push with my fat arse though

Seriously, what is the deal with my stomach....stabbing cramps every time I eat something

been like this for about 4 days now

Where does the pain happen? Is it at the top in the middle just under the ribcage where you would have been hit if you felt winded? Only I had gallstone issues after one of my DD's was born and it was caused by the build up of ??something?? in the bile duct during pregnancy, it most often occurs in women who are 'fair, female, fat and fertile' and I was ticking all the boxes

I eventually flushed it through by drinking diluted vinegar and diluted lemon juice, when my scan eventually came round all they found was a new DC kicking away

mitchnorm · Apr 14th, 2012, 15:36 PM

Mscrow...firstly

to you and secondly that email from your friend was lovely...so supportive and what she said about our babies needing us; our warmth etc made me realuse what a major change it is for them to come into.the world from the safety of our wombs and how scary it could be for them. That email made me well up...damn hormones still knocking around.....

And now i feel bad for what i have done tonight....just bathed M...lovely warm bath with a coule of drops of lavender, warmed her towel and sleep suit...fed and have put down in her moses basket.upstairs with monitor on her...we are downstairs watching her. I feel like i have deserted my baby....but she settles well in her basket at night and know that eventually she will have to get used to sleeping earlier in evenings......starting later for now....7:30 seems too early at moment.

I miss her.....and feel like i have deserted her

.

emera35 · Apr 14th, 2012, 15:51 PM

MsC

to you! Loved your friend's email how supportive she is!

.
I totally agree with her too! I spend as much time as I can with F asleep on me, in the sling and n our bed. Its less stressful as she's more relaxed and secure. Co-sleeping is keeping me sane at the moment I definitely get loads more sleep than trying to settle her in a basket all night! That said, Mitch, don't feel bad if M is content

if F is calm and relaxed I'll pop her in her basket to sleep. She's sage there and I'm never far away, so I can make sure she's fine (video monitors are just as good) anyway, it's not ba parenting to settle babies down on their own to sleep, just best not to be surprised if they want to stay with you

Personally I'll have F sleep on me and with me as much as she needs, as I know that this phase is actually really short and I'll miss it when she wants to be independant

citymouse · Apr 14th, 2012, 16:19 PM

G has been settling well in her bassinet (between us in bed) for a couple of nights... hope it's not a fluke! I lean over her with my arm at her back and breathe on her until she's quiet, and then I settle myself just on the other side of the mesh side and keep breathing on her.

MissyBlaze · Apr 14th, 2012, 16:40 PM

Waula. I'm defo getting stabby boob pain. Mainly in the right one. At totally random times. Also that boob has felt really overly full all day. So this evening I fed t off it and then expressed. I got 3oz even after a feed. Nit sure what's going on there.

I had a very odd conversation with a traffic warden today. I was running back to the car with the push chair as I saw him. And asked if I was too late. He put a big cross through his page and said "nope! I don't give s shit about tickets. I've been made redundant ".. I then got stuck with him for 30 mins while he told me his life story. I was too scared to walk away because I thought he might give me a ticket anyway. He was odd...

loolindley · Apr 14th, 2012, 16:54 PM

Ha! Missy! Good for you not getting a ticket, but

about getting the poor blokes life story!!! You must have one of those faces that says 'talk to me'. I'd adopt a scowl if I were you!!!

Mitch

you are not abandoning your baby! Don't be so daft! I'll be doing the same thing once we are in our house. D won't settle unless she is being held at the moment and it's making it nigh on impossible to do ANYTHING between feeds. I'm hoping that she will get better at self settling so I can get some jobs round the house done to have proper time for loves and cuddles rather than just trying to get her to stop screaming. xxxx

In laws just left for night. D been fussy and cried all afternoon. She has been monopolised by mil who just kept taking her off me. During tea she tried again so I just said 'give her to me please'. I felt guilty after, but that soon passed when she whipped her out of my arms 10 mins later. Sigh.

Is it Sunday evening yet???

MissyBlaze · Apr 14th, 2012, 17:05 PM

Yes loo! Very nearly Sunday. I agree about settling babies. If I had a monitor I'd be putting him down. I need to remember to do it more. At the moment I keep forgetting in allowed to be in another room to him.

Thing is loo, I've got a naturally grumpy face. No body ever spoke to me when I was pregnant. Or rubbed my belly. Motherhood must have changed me! Also he kept calling t a she. He looks like a proper boy! Or a slightly odd looking girl.

Apr 14th, 2012, 14:51 PM	#1471
emera35 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Bristol, UK Posts: 4,303	Cupcake. Normal for periods returning is anything from right away (like me, boo hiss) to not at all until you stop bf. In fact my mum bf me to 6 months old and still hadn't had a period when she realised she was preg with my brother. There is 2 years between us. basically there is no "normal". However I resent having periods back as soon as is physically possible, seems unnecessary!! I didn't have any obvious symptoms. My bleeding stopped about 10 days or so ago. This morning I had that periody ache, and now my usual pains and bam, there it is. ah well, at least I shouldn't have to wait long to start taking the pill when I go to my 6 week check to get it Glow, poor you are you dehydrated? That gives me tummy cramps when I eat. I'd pop to the docs if it doesn't stop. Baths wise here Roh has a bath everyday, so we chuck F in every few days. She did do a massive up the back poo and synchronised vom the other day though, so I got the baby bath out and gave her a nice bath. Gutted, Over night F's hair has started falling out in large amounts and I can see the start of cradle cap on her scalp. Going to have to knock up some pretty head scarves for her, she's going to be all scabby and bald currently she's all oiled up and waiting for it to soak in abit before a good brushing. Roh's hair did this too, at least I have the comfort of knowing he has lovely hair now!

Status: Offline

Apr 14th, 2012, 15:06 PM	#1473
loolindley Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: In my new home...finally!! Posts: 4,159	Glowie, fat arse? I've got more fat on my little finger than you have on your arse!!!!! Group bath sounds lovely though! Enjoy! MsC, sorry to hear you are having a bad time. I know that I've said it before, but you know where I am and I don't mind driving over if you want a visit, even if it is just to break your day up for an hour. Speaking of which, I think we need to be brave and organise another NW meet up again.

Status: Offline

Apr 14th, 2012, 15:36 PM	#1475
mitchnorm Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Bagshot UK Posts: 3,800	Mscrow...firstly to you and secondly that email from your friend was lovely...so supportive and what she said about our babies needing us; our warmth etc made me realuse what a major change it is for them to come into.the world from the safety of our wombs and how scary it could be for them. That email made me well up...damn hormones still knocking around..... And now i feel bad for what i have done tonight....just bathed M...lovely warm bath with a coule of drops of lavender, warmed her towel and sleep suit...fed and have put down in her moses basket.upstairs with monitor on her...we are downstairs watching her. I feel like i have deserted my baby....but she settles well in her basket at night and know that eventually she will have to get used to sleeping earlier in evenings......starting later for now....7:30 seems too early at moment. I miss her.....and feel like i have deserted her.

Status: Offline

Apr 14th, 2012, 15:51 PM	#1476
emera35 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Bristol, UK Posts: 4,303	MsC to you! Loved your friend's email how supportive she is! . I totally agree with her too! I spend as much time as I can with F asleep on me, in the sling and n our bed. Its less stressful as she's more relaxed and secure. Co-sleeping is keeping me sane at the moment I definitely get loads more sleep than trying to settle her in a basket all night! That said, Mitch, don't feel bad if M is content if F is calm and relaxed I'll pop her in her basket to sleep. She's sage there and I'm never far away, so I can make sure she's fine (video monitors are just as good) anyway, it's not ba parenting to settle babies down on their own to sleep, just best not to be surprised if they want to stay with you Personally I'll have F sleep on me and with me as much as she needs, as I know that this phase is actually really short and I'll miss it when she wants to be independant

Status: Offline

Apr 14th, 2012, 16:19 PM	#1477
citymouse Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 3,916	G has been settling well in her bassinet (between us in bed) for a couple of nights... hope it's not a fluke! I lean over her with my arm at her back and breathe on her until she's quiet, and then I settle myself just on the other side of the mesh side and keep breathing on her.

Status: Offline

Apr 14th, 2012, 16:40 PM	#1478
MissyBlaze Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 1,582	Waula. I'm defo getting stabby boob pain. Mainly in the right one. At totally random times. Also that boob has felt really overly full all day. So this evening I fed t off it and then expressed. I got 3oz even after a feed. Nit sure what's going on there. I had a very odd conversation with a traffic warden today. I was running back to the car with the push chair as I saw him. And asked if I was too late. He put a big cross through his page and said "nope! I don't give s shit about tickets. I've been made redundant ".. I then got stuck with him for 30 mins while he told me his life story. I was too scared to walk away because I thought he might give me a ticket anyway. He was odd...

Status: Offline

Apr 14th, 2012, 16:54 PM	#1479
loolindley Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: In my new home...finally!! Posts: 4,159	Ha! Missy! Good for you not getting a ticket, but about getting the poor blokes life story!!! You must have one of those faces that says 'talk to me'. I'd adopt a scowl if I were you!!! Mitch you are not abandoning your baby! Don't be so daft! I'll be doing the same thing once we are in our house. D won't settle unless she is being held at the moment and it's making it nigh on impossible to do ANYTHING between feeds. I'm hoping that she will get better at self settling so I can get some jobs round the house done to have proper time for loves and cuddles rather than just trying to get her to stop screaming. xxxx In laws just left for night. D been fussy and cried all afternoon. She has been monopolised by mil who just kept taking her off me. During tea she tried again so I just said 'give her to me please'. I felt guilty after, but that soon passed when she whipped her out of my arms 10 mins later. Sigh. Is it Sunday evening yet???

Status: Offline

Apr 14th, 2012, 17:05 PM	#1480
MissyBlaze Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 1,582	Yes loo! Very nearly Sunday. I agree about settling babies. If I had a monitor I'd be putting him down. I need to remember to do it more. At the moment I keep forgetting in allowed to be in another room to him. Thing is loo, I've got a naturally grumpy face. No body ever spoke to me when I was pregnant. Or rubbed my belly. Motherhood must have changed me! Also he kept calling t a she. He looks like a proper boy! Or a slightly odd looking girl.

Status: Offline

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