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Old Dec 10th, 2012, 08:27 AM   1
TranquilAngst
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Please explain WHAT gets better and WHY after first few weeks/months


My LO (1st baby) is 8 days old. I love her to pieces and I think I'm doing quite well all things considered.

But I am exhausted, emotional, unsure of how to make sense of these long, long days where nursing, changing diapers, and soothing seem to take the entire day. At some moments I love just being with her, but at other moments when it feels like she's been fussy for hours, has trouble latching, or wants to nurse every 1.5-2 hours, I feel like I'm at the end of my rope.

Everyone keeps saying that the first __ weeks/months are the hardest and it really does get better. I'm wondering a) what that time frame really is, and b) how and why it gets better. Is it the sleeping pattern that gets better? Or we just get more used to it? Or that LO starts to interact and that is more rewarding?

Please share your thoughts!



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Old Dec 10th, 2012, 09:02 AM   2
Fuze
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I think it gets better because of all the reasons you gave. I found things easier when she started to interact more (no matter how tired or upset you are baby smiles just melt your heart) and did something new every day. It also gets easier/ better when you start to learn their different crys/ can catch what they need before they start to cry. I also found things improved when she started sleeping for a 4 hour block at night. Having a routine really really helps, my LO is still baby led feeding so feeds loads during the day (breast fed) but does longer sleep stretches at night. Over Christmas we are going to try and establish more of a feeding regimen ready for when I go back to work in January.

Good luck and congrats on your LO



 
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Old Dec 10th, 2012, 11:17 AM   3
Tiggerooooo
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Following your thread as am really interested in reading everyone's responses. When I was finding it really hard and was a emotional wreak everyone kept telling me that it gets easier but never actually said how or why. I had really sad moments when I thought what have I done by having a baby and longed for my old life and DS was totally planned and wanted so I think it made me feel worse.

DS is just over a month now and honestly it does feel slightly easier maybe because he is sleeping at night abit better but am still interested.

I love him with all my heart and can't imagine ever being without him xx



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Old Dec 10th, 2012, 11:39 AM   4
Scottish mum
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TranquilAngst View Post
My LO (1st baby) is 8 days old. I love her to pieces and I think I'm doing quite well all things considered.

But I am exhausted, emotional, unsure of how to make sense of these long, long days where nursing, changing diapers, and soothing seem to take the entire day. At some moments I love just
being with her, but at other
moments when it feels like she's
been fussy for hours, has trouble
latching, or wants to nurse every
1.5-2 hours, I feel like I'm at the
end of my rope.











Everyone keeps saying that the first __ weeks/months are the hardest and it really does get better. I'm wondering a) what that time frame really is, and b) how and why it gets better. Is it the sleeping pattern that gets better? Or we just get more used to it? Or that LO starts to interact and that is more rewarding?


Please share your thoughts!

Hi there,

Yes you may have seen my posts!

I'm the same my lo is a month this Wednesday and I feel overwhelmed! It gets better everyday but I still have days where I panic a bit as I realise what a huge responsibility I have as a new mum!

It's funny as nobody shares this with you before baby comes! My lo was planned and I am so happy he is here but feel due to my being overwhelmed I'm wishing the days away and not making the most of my time with lo.

I wanted to be thoes mums you see on cloud 9 all the time but it's not like that in reality it's work! But in the long run I know it's worth it!

Thease posts are great as you will find you will be here lots for advice and to chat to other mums xx



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Old Dec 10th, 2012, 12:27 PM   5
Becky_Mummy2B
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With my first DD I was exactly the same... I'm more positive this time round as I know it gets better. For me it was when things got back to normal a bit more. In all honesty around 5 and a half months when I went back to work. I felt like I had a purpose again. Like I wasn't just a Mum (not to offend SAHMs). I had a routine and adult company and my days were busy. This time round though I'm enjoying the days with my girls (I'm six weeks pp) but keeping myself busy preparing for Xmas and moving house in Jan). I did experience baby blues and the whole what have I done?! For the first fortnight or so but then I look at DD1 and remind myself that I've brought a baby into the world who (hopefully) will be just as amazing as her. Sorry if this is unhelpful or makes you think it's ages away until you feel normal again. These are just my experiences and everyone is different. I agree once baby is more interactive and sleeps better that contributes to feeling better too. I'd say invest in box set DVD's and books and enjoy some time to yourself when baby sleeps, because as soon as they become a toddler it's all Peppa Pig on TV and children's story books! Xxx



 
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Old Dec 11th, 2012, 08:57 AM   6
JuniorAsh
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For me it was the sleeping pattern that got better first. He went from waking up 3 times a night for feeding to sleeping right through the night at 9 weeks old. Then his feeds became less regular, and as time goes on he can entertain himself more with toys etc which gives me time to get the house cleaned up and sometimes I get time for a bath!! I know exactly how you're feeling and it does get better!! x



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Old Dec 11th, 2012, 10:29 AM   7
tinkerbelle93
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It's normal to feel this way during the first couple of weeks. It might be a little bit of 'baby blues' and you'll find that within a week or so, you're a lot less emotional due to hormones balancing out etc.

It's hard to say when it gets easier because all babies are different. But, in my own personal experience, a lot of things get easier within a couple of months and continue to do so.

After 2-3 months I found it got a lot easier because:-

- LO got used to the concept of day and night, and did most of his sleeping at night when I was asleep too.

- LO had bigger feeds, but fewer of them with longer spaces between each feed.

- LO went much longer at night- woke for a feed about once in the night, total bliss compared to the every 1 1/2 hour breastfeed I had to do in the first month!

- I had become a lot more adjusted to motherhood- leaving the house became easier because I could sort out all his things and pack his bag quickly without even thinking about it. I knew how to fold and unfold the buggy easier, strap him into his car seat etc. You sort of learn ways to do everything in a quick, convenient way and before you know it you do it without even thinking.

- LO could smile and laugh and have extended eye contact with me which is always nice

Now, my LO is 11 months old. I think that in a lot of ways he is more demanding than a newborn as he wants more attention and can get easily bored. Plus feeding time no longer means milk but preparing food. However, he is (like most babies his age) in a routine so I can anticipate when he's going to nap etc. and can plan things around that. He's also been sleeping through from 8pm-9am recently! I also find it so much more fun now because I can sit and play with him, pull faces that make him giggle hysterically, watch him crawl round and try to walk.. it's so fun and rewarding! xx



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Old Dec 12th, 2012, 11:03 AM   8
OliveBay
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I feel like I spent my LO's first 4 weeks in a total zombie-like haze. I thought I was prepared for being a parent, but now I realise that nothing anyone can say and nothing you read can prepare you for how hard it is looking after a newborn baby. But it DOES get easier. For me it was a combination of me getting used to the lack of sleep and the new (lack of) routine, plus my LO developing and sleeping and feeding better which made me feel things were improving.

I used to need 8 hours sleep every night, but now can function quite well on a 4-hour sleep. And now my LO sometimes even blesses me with a 6 or 7-hour sleep which is like heaven! Your body definitely gets used to it.

And when you start to see those lovely little smiles (even the windy smiles will do, they still make your heart melt!), you just know it is worth all of the hard times.

Now my LO is 10 weeks old things feel much more manageable but there are still some tiring tricky days so I still allow myself the occasional pyjama day and have learned to cut myself some slack (yeah, last night's washing up still hasn't been done )




 
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Old Dec 12th, 2012, 11:26 AM   9
tinkerbelle93
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OliveBay View Post

Now my LO is 10 weeks old things feel much more manageable but there are still some tiring tricky days so I still allow myself the occasional pyjama day and have learned to cut myself some slack (yeah, last night's washing up still hasn't been done )

Absolutely agree with this.. I think that a lot of women feel pressure to try and do everything.. Have an immaculate house and have perfect makeup and hair whilst caring for the LO, as well as getting out and about all the time. In the early days especially this is just impossible, and once you realise that it's 100% fine to wear PJ bottoms or tracksuits and have a house that's a bit messy and no time for make-up then you feel wayy better. Now that my LO is 11 months and in a routine this isn't really an issue anymore (although doubt my house will ever be immaculate lol) but in the early days you need to just concentrate on yourself and the baby and grab any sleep you can. xx



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Old Dec 21st, 2012, 07:44 AM   10
dancareoi
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Hi, spotted this and thought I would respond.
Those first few days/weeks are hard, you just wish you could sleep, but it will and does get easier. They will start to settle to a routine.

My first two were about 10 weeks old before I got a decent spell at night from the, I think my third took a little longer, but they do get there.

Tip - sleep when they sleep. Forget the housework and washing up, if baby takes a nap in the day, then you take one too. It will make you feel better.

Mine are now 11, 8 and 2 and I do now get full nights sleep, but still don't have a proper routine, but who cares! Just enjoy it and make the most of it, because believe me, they grow up so quickly.



 
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