LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old Nov 12th, 2013, 18:34 PM   1
Pregnant (Expecting)
Active BnB Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: California
Posts: 253

What is the first 3 months post-partum like?

Hello Ladies,

I am a first time mom and was curious what the first 3 months with baby is like? Is the first month the hardest?

Will I be back to my feet in 2 weeks?

My parents are coming to help me for 3 months but I don't know if my sanity will last that long with them here. So I am weighing the benefits of doing it on my own vs receiving help.

What's your advice?

Status: Offline
Old Nov 12th, 2013, 18:58 PM   2
Mum (Mom)
Chat Happy BnB Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 1,766
Its tiresome and stressful! You'll be on your feet within 2 weeks but you might still feel foggy all over and have some pain if you end up with stitches or c section. I think if you can stand it its a wonderful idea to have some help...sleepless nights are absolutely not fun! Ive done it on my own so far and while im surviving its felt like a gigantic train wreck at times. Oh and I forgot to mention baby blues....I didn't get it that bad just the first week I was constantly crying just looking at my daughter id bust into tears thinking something was wrong with her....even if she was just sleeping soundly in my arms : / Its a lot of adjusting in the first few months..getting used to this new little person that needs you every second of every day. Its wonderful and you'll be filled with joy and excitement for everyday but you'll also worry about every little thing, convince yourself that your a terrible mom and your doing everything wrong, you'll fight with OH or whoever is around you, and you'll be willing to give up your left kidney for a few hours of sleep! But everytime you look at your little one (usually when theyre sleeping and not crying) you'll forget about everything else around you and just get lost in that moment

Status: Offline
Old Nov 12th, 2013, 19:08 PM   3
Mum (Mom)
Chat Happy BnB Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 1,946
I think everyones experience is completely different. We live a little drive from family, hubby went back to work after 2 weeks with ds, and I was left getting on my own - tbh it was good to work out my own little routine. I wouldn't have wanted 3 months worth of help personally. I wanted to find my own feet, work out how to do it. DS was a very content baby though, I just followed his lead and although I was super tired, I slept when he did, and I may be crucified for this, but I found the newborn stage a bit boring, I was expecting fireworks, but newborns do sleep a heck of a lot. (like I say ds was super chilled - I was very lucky). He was awake most of the night the first few weeks, but slept a lot during the day, so I slept with him! :-)

Good Luck xx

Status: Offline
Old Nov 12th, 2013, 19:40 PM   4
Mum (Mom)
Active BnB Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Washington state, US
Posts: 76
I had very little pain after delivery, even with a few stitches and the bleeding wasn't as bad as I thought. The main thing for me was being surprised at how much time babies take up! At first because it takes them so long to eat and because I didn't want to set her down. My OH took two weeks off when my DD was born and that seemed pretty good to me... One more week of help might've been nice but I doubt you'll want three months of full time help, depending on how baby sleeps etc.

Status: Offline
Old Nov 12th, 2013, 21:05 PM   5
laila 44
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 7,159
Take the help!!!

Status: Offline
Old Nov 12th, 2013, 21:28 PM   6
Pregnant (Expecting)
Active BnB Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 935
For me the first two months were hard and then it got much easier. After two weeks I was on my feet but still a hot mess overall and hobbling around due to bad spd/pgp that lingered. Your birh will have a huge impact on how you are after two weeks and mine was horrible so I was slower to recover physically than other women I have talked to. I had family around for a few weeks and while the help was great in some ways it was also stressful having company living with me. When it's just you, lo and your oh you are better able to fall into a routine and learn to understand their needs without excessive interference. In other ways the help is so good because it is so totally full on for the first six weeks and probably especially if you are breastfeeding. It really depends on how much your oh helps and if oh is around. If I'd been single I would have been incredibly thankful for any help. Can you stand having company for that long - even if it is your folks? I wouldn't turn down help in the first three to six weeks but if they are living with you that would be a lot for three months.

Status: Offline
Old Nov 12th, 2013, 21:36 PM   7
Mum (Mom)
BnB Addict
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,374
Take the help. Personally I've only found the first 2-3 weeks hard. After that I've found with both my kids I got into a good routine and it was really easy .

With my first it took me longer to recover then my 2nd because of how long the labour was . It really depends on your birth

I would say 3 months is a bit long but the first month you'll want the help. If you have the help for to long also you'll have to re-adjust to doing it on your own when the help leaves

Status: Offline
Old Nov 12th, 2013, 22:06 PM   8
Trying to conceive (TTC)
Chat Happy BnB Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 2,379
Ask them to come, if you feel like kicking them out after a few weeks, you can tell them to take a trip or go back?

For me, the first few months were hard because it was so repetitive, tiring, and mind numbing ( newborns live in their own world, you're there to serve their needs only) - I needed a bit of adult interactions and also a bit of time to myself each day to recharge - even cleaning became a good escape. Having people to talk to or take LO off your hands for an hour each day can really help.

Status: Offline
Old Nov 12th, 2013, 22:13 PM   9
Mum (Mom)
BnB Elite
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Tauranga, New Zealand
Posts: 15,675
3 months of help might be more stress than use, but it does depend on your baby I suppose? 3 Weeks would be much nicer.

Status: Offline
Old Nov 13th, 2013, 00:20 AM   10
Mum (Mom)
BnB Spammer Elite
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Colorado, USA
Posts: 22,109
Hazy. I would've died for support. My DH was in school and working so it was just LO and myself. Ended up tearing my back muscles and not being able to walk and lived in bed for 5 months.

Status: Offline


months , postpartum

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search