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Old Oct 30th, 2017, 11:44 AM   11
itsnowmyturn
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Thanks. I will let u no what the health visitor says next week.
Your support is much appreciated



 
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Old Oct 30th, 2017, 12:20 PM   12
red_head
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No worries - anytime! X



 
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Old Nov 6th, 2017, 14:57 PM   13
itsnowmyturn
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So the health visitor is due tomorrow, I'm still trying to figure out how to bring it up, I'm hoping that she asks me some questions outright and doesn't just say how are u because that's when I usually say yeah everything is fine, I will have to fight all of my natural instincts if she does that to actually mention it.



 
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Old Nov 6th, 2017, 15:33 PM   14
red_head
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Could you write a list of questions you have, and squish it in the middle somewhere and then hand her the list? You could write something like ‘feeling a bit flat’ or something? And then use that as a starting point? Just try and be open and honest as that’s the best way to get through this x



 
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Old Nov 7th, 2017, 08:12 AM   15
itsnowmyturn
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She was just about to leave and she asked me if there's anything I wanted to ask so I just told her, she spoke to me a bit and made some suggestions. She's coming out again next week. She did that pnd questionnaire and took that back with her, I guess she will talk about that when she comes back next week. I will wait to see what she says next week and then think about discussing it with my partner, if she says it's not pnd and just need some support and to get out and about I will probably just not mention it to him but will see what she says.
I do want to start getting my daughter to some stay and play sessions so she has other children to play with, she goes to nursery 2 days a week but other than that she doesn't get any time playing with other kids and spends all of her time with us, I feel bad for her. It's just so difficult to get out of the house with 2 kids, it feels so chaotic and I don't feel like my patience is good enough to do it because I end up getting angry at my daughter for silly little things and then I feel bad for telling her off and it makes her more defiant.

Will see what happens next week with the hv



 
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Old Nov 7th, 2017, 09:28 AM   16
red_head
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That was really brave! Do you feel better for having opened up? It’s so good that you did as now you can start getting support in place for you.
Do you think it’s worth discussing with your partner even if it’s not pnd? I just think that if mine was feeling down, or out of sorts, I’d really want him to share it with me - unless they know somethings going on then they can’t help, and often it can lead to more problems as they can feel something isn’t quite right, but don’t know what, which leads to guessing - never a good thing! Even if he could watch the kids for an hour or two on the weekend so you can get away for a little while, or maybe take a couple mornings off work so you can have some one on one time with your daughter or trial a play session while he watches your baby?
Honestly you are doing so well - opening up to the HV was such a big brave step - make sure you acknowledge that!



 
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Old Nov 7th, 2017, 10:28 AM   17
itsnowmyturn
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Wouldn't say I feel better, I sort of felt a bit daft and felt like k was making a big deal out of nothing.

Would rather avoid mentioning it to my oh if I don't have to because he really doesn't get mental health, it's just something he can't wrap his head around, like he doesn't get it.

I've been making sure I get out of my pjs every day, figure that it might help to have a routine of things to do.
Going to force myself to go out tomorrow, I keep finding excuses to not to out like it's too cold or I'm too tired so tomorrow I'm going to do a couple of errands and then I will wall to get my daughter from nursery in the evening.

Thursday I have to go out because I have a physio appointment for my pelvis.

My oh works a half day on Fridays so I'm trying to make it a regular thing I go and do things by myself even though it is usually only shopping of some sort it's still time by myself without the stress of children and I can just be in my own bubble



 
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Old Nov 11th, 2017, 14:10 PM   18
itsnowmyturn
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Today has been a tough day. I've had 3 busy days Wednesday Thursday and Friday and my pelvis has been hurting and I felt exhausted by the end of the day and today my daughter has been a spawn of satan!! I think today has been the first day I've properly regretted our decision to have another, don't get me wrong I don't regret having my son and it's not because of him, I don't no if I regret having 2 children in general or having 2 children with this age gap or even what it is I regret. I think I've realised that it isn't my baby it's affecting my bond with its my daughter and that makes me feel awful because she is my baby girl and I love her to pieces, but right now I don't like her much. I've done everything I can today to give her attention because our boy has had a lovely chilled out day so I've painted with her and made stuff with her, played catch with her and her dad has played other games with her.
Started off bad this morning with her trashing her room and climbing onto the changing table and squirting baby lotion over the room, then she has this really annoying habit of screaming at us and saying no in this really irritating voice that she knows winds us up so.obviously she's been doing that loads today. Then she refused to have her nap, then she screamed when it got to bedtime. Every time we had to stop doing stuff with her because we had to do food or go to the toilet etc she would start being naughty and doing stuff she knew would get her in to trouble.
I know it's just attention seeking on her behalf and it must be tough on her suddenly having to share the attention but she doesn't seem to mind having a baby brother and if I'm honest this behaviour isn't new off her, we were just slightly better able to deal with it before.

Anyway I feel completely frazzled today and feel like I could fall apart. Feel like I just want to cry. I never thought the phrase 'I just wanted to scream' was actually when people wanted to just sit and scream but in all honesty I did just want to scream today. I feel like i have no control over my life.

Even worse, I feel like every parent feels like this so me labelling myself as something other than a stressed out mum is viewed as me looking for attention.

I feel so lost today



 
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