Hugs...

Just wanted to say I know exactly what you are going through. I had Sophie at 27 weeks by emergency c-section and was not even allowed to see her till the next day as I'd been really ill with pre eclampsia and she was whisked away to neonatal immediately.

The night she was born, there were two of us in the ward who'd had emergency sections and our babies were in neonatal and at 10.30pm they brought in a woman who had just given birth at full term, normal birth, with her baby and her husband and a tray of tea and toast. It was a nightmare. The husband was so loud making all these jokes and he stayed for hours and the baby cried all night. I was so upset that I had not even seen Sophie at this point and it was really hard.

I did get to see her next day but still had to spend a week in the ward with babies crying all the time and people pacing the corridor with their crying babies every night through the night. I ended up in a side ward because they were trying to keep me separate from people who had their babies with them but I could still hear them all the time.

Sophie is now at 30 weeks gestation and still in neonatal so we are going there every day to see her and getting as involved as we can with her feeding, talking to her, nappy changes, stroking her etc.They like to keep us involved and it really helps.

I hope you are ok....

my ds1 was on the SCBU for 5 days post birth he was taken over within 24 hours of his birth , i was over there every 3 hours for every feed Day and Night and did as many nappy changes as possible and took every chance i got to be over there talking to him and just being by his side.
If you can then be over with him when you can and get as much sleep as you can the rest of the time to allow you to heal faster so you can be there for him

i remember this feeling well ... loads of , i remember how distressing it was. i didnt even see my baby till the next day after an emergency section, then i had to nag and nag to be taken up in a wheelchair, then i had to spend a few days on the ward alone listening to everyone else's crying babies. it's horrible. i felt like i hadnt had a baby either as i hadnt been awake when he was delivered.
buuuuttt ... it went really quickly and LO was getting such good care and came home really well.
I would say, make sure you nag and nag to get up there, once you can mobilise you should be able to go whenever you want. i found that no one on the ward or NICU was very forthcoming in giving me any info though, so dont be afraid to ask, and say that you are going up and doing the cares/feeds if thats what you want to do. We took clothes in for him to wear as well and that helped us to feel like he was ours and not just another baby on the unit if that makes sense?
They are doing the best for your LO as well and once you get home you can spoil them rotten!

Awww hun,I know exactly how you feel-my son was born full term and taken to SCBU within 3 hours of birth.You should ask the SCBU nurses about letting you be more involved in your baby's care-im sure they will let you feed him and change nappies etc.
PM me if you want to chat.
donna
xxx

I have been in your shoes and I can sympathise. My baby was small and was in the NICU for about a week and I was in my ward alone too. I got so upset when I could hear all the other mothers feeding and conforting thier babies - I was just a mess. I didnt feel like I was a mother yet and it just all didnt feel real to me - I didnt feel like I had a baby. Finally after the 3rd day I spoke with the nurses in the NICU about how I was feeling and they were very supportive and apologetic. They allowed me to become more involved and I finally started feeling like the mum I couldnt wait to be. I hope you start to feel better and you get your beautiful baby in your arms real soon.