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Old Mar 16th, 2012, 16:49 PM   #1
bther
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Cramps after section and query PND?


This is a two part post.*

Firstly, i had a c section 4 months ago as have been having cramps the entire time. The past week or so they have gotten worse. I just don't know what to do about them.*

Secondly, I'm worried I'm not coping as well as I should be. I'm a single mummy and live with my parents. My ex doesn't help at all and I don't get any help from anyone else. My mum is constantly getting on to me about how I should be cleaning the house and looking after Zachary while going to groups and studying a degree (I'm taking an OU course while on maternity leave). I admit the nursery (Zachary is in my room) is a mess but i don't have time at the moment to sort it out. I feel totally exhausted but I can't sleep. I try to during the day but I can't. I'm worried that i'm going to wake up and find Zachary not breathing (although I have one of those movement monitors) or that I'm going to do something wrong that is going to make him really really ill (long story short, have been advised by paediatricians to formula feed, & have weaned early - so apparently that means he is going to have allergies/excema etc), or I may even make a bottle wrong and he'll get sick. I go to groups and I don't like giving him toys or putting him on the floor because the toys aren't clean - they could make him ill. My mum is always trying to tell me what to do with him - "he's too cold/hot", "he's doing a poo, change his nappy", "don't take him to the doctors, there are germs there" and recently i wanted to drive 2 hours to my friends little girls birthday party and she said i should because i won't be able to cope. I feel like i'm always being undermined as a mother and i feel like i'm doing crap. I've tried talking to her about this but she gets really sensitive if I remind her that I'm his mum & gets quite petty about it all. Also, people always comment on how content he is and I'm now worrying that he is autistic. I try telling my mum these worries but she just laughs at me. I can't talk to my sister because she has just had a miscarriage at 10 weeks and is still very very upset. I don't have any friends I can talk to. Oh, an I've just had a smear test which I'm convinced is going to come back to say I've got cancer and I'm scared. I don't cry all the time, I do sometimes but not a lot. I also feel guilty about everything, from the fact that my ex ditched me when I was 9 weeks pregnant to actually getting pregnant. I often think that it might be better if I wasn't around and maybe Zac should be adopted. Does this sound like PND or is it normal? I go out at least twice a week to groups although I don't feel like 'me' - I'm quiet & shy (totally unlike the real me) and I'm scared of what people think of me.

Someone please tell me what I should do.


 
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Old Mar 17th, 2012, 09:33 AM   #2
shanti01
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Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 484
Hi.

Girl, you need to relax - I know it is hard with a new baby. Have you talked to a doctor - maybe to give you something to calm you a bit. I had to and it helped me quite a lot.

As for your baby - he will be fine and I believe that you are a perfect mother. Also, try to trust the monitor and try to sleep a bit as you need it.

Hope evertything will be better soon.


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Old Mar 17th, 2012, 12:26 PM   #3
katy1985
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I've had many similar worries as you. Apart from I'm lucky and my mum is truly supportive. My partner works away 5 nights a week so I feel like a single parent. I'm overdue a smear test and convinced I've got cancer. I feel really anxious all the time about all sorts of stuff Ive just opened up to my health visitor who referred me to the perinatal team - they deal with mental health. It's already helped talking to someone. They are talking about putting me on anti depressants to help with my anxiety. I think you really need to tell you doctor or health visitor how your feeling x


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Old Mar 18th, 2012, 21:19 PM   #4
larudy13
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RE:the cramps

Have you asked your doctor about stool softeners, because I have cramps all the time and doctor said its gas pains.


 
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