When he gets home from work, he takes the baby for about 30 mins walk. Comes home and feeds her while I make dinner. Plays with her while I have a shower / bath and than he got an hour or so to himself, and then we do something together all 3.
Interesting how quick people change their rutines but yeah, that's what happens most evenings at our house
For me it was helping around the house and therefore helping to keep my stress levels down. Also helping settle baby, feed, change, night feeds. I sounds quite high maintenance but I found it SO hard in the beginning and just needed as much help as possible with everything. We argued. A. Lot.
Well he helps change him sometimes and feed him if I beg him to but really I feel like its all me. I think he thinks because I am home that he doesn't have to help. I am so busy tho! I have my LO, school and picking up after my OH. This is a sore spot for me!
We've finally settled into a bit of good routine -- told him that coming home, eating HIS dinner, changing clothes, calling his mother and spending time on the computer before even popping into the living room to see me and LO was a huge no-no; and yes, we argued ALOT, especially St. Patrick's weekend when he proceeded to drink a bit and then fall asleep on the sofa -- growl, grumble and scream! He's also the type to get distracted, e.g. going to make a cup of tea seems to take an hour?
However, I sat him down and said that it wasn't on -- I LOVE LO and am on paid maternity leave, but I need a break from him at times -- so I do make dinner for us both, but my OH has to help out -- to be fair, he did most of baby-stuff when LO was born (and in NICU) as I was so poorly (pre-eclampsia), but this week it's been okay.
When we comes home, I (ME!) get to hand baby over so I can eat MY DINNER; he gets time limit on the computer (he works in computers and he spends half his day surfing on line (I know, because when I check my email, he has sent all these 'interesting' web-pages to look at (interesting for him, boring for me!) and he now has to take LO overnight (we have separate bedrooms) twice a week, so I can get some sleep -- he's now 'singing a whole new tune' as LO was particulary cranky on Tuesday night and is perhaps starting to understand that I can't ever really relax with LO at home on my own (e.g. always keeping an ear out for him if I take a bath, etc)., so I think it will get better.....
Cleaning and cooking! I cook some meals, but OH does most of it. He does work, and sometimes I feel like I should do more around the house, which I will when LO gets a bit less needy. But I do almost all the baby duties, so it works out for us. Some days I wish he did more with LO, even just playing with her, but when he holds her he just sits at his computer. So I would rather play with her while he cooks or cleans than have me doing those things and him just sitting at the computer and not interacting with LO. It is also a bit of a sore spot with me.
In the first few weeks, my husband did the cooking and organising people coming over as I was just breast feeding all the time! But once we got settled and we went onto bottles, he used to help in the nights with feeds if we had them and we had a rough agreement that he would stay up until 1 am even on a work night (he usually would anyway!) and I would do anything after that. After a week or so, the 1 am's didn't happen and eventually there was only one night feed at sxay 4 am which I did anyway.
But I definately believe that the partner is equal - it takes two to make a baby!
Now that we are really settled into the routine, I make dinner every day but my hubbie comes home and takes our son for his bath whilst I finish dinner and pretty much every day he does the final bottle. But I do all of the washing up, sterilising bottles, cooking etc.
It works for us and we soon settled into this way of working.
Oh and recently he started doing the first bottle on a Sunday morning so every morning I have a lie in and every Saturday he has a lie in. So equal really for us!
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