I was in labor for a little over 24 hours, in the hospital for the last 11 hours, and his head was stuck in my pelvis, I was stuck at 6cm dilated 90% effaced for 6 hours, having contractions every minute for the last 4 hours.
I had wanted to go completely natural, but when she broke the other bag of waters (for some reason I had two, the first one broke at 1 pm, and I was sent straight to the hospital, the contractions were completely tolerable then) the contractions went from every 6 minutes to every minute and were so intense and so quick-happening that I had to take some Nubane just to help with my emotions. Around the time of those wearing off my midwife told me that things weren't progressing and his heartrate was quickening so we should do a c-section. Slight relief washed over me, then failure. They released me and Isiah 24 hours after my c-section with some Percoset.
I stayed with my mum (am still here, 16 days later) to help with the baby while I am healing, and my husband took a week off of work to help as well. Sitting on the couch watching the two of them take care of him and only bring him to me when he needed fed was pretty depressing within itself. Not to mention the fact that I couldn't even shower by myself, I couldn't make myself any food, I couldn't use the restroom by myself, I couldn't even get off the couch by myself. Breastfeeding was going ... alright.
After about a week I could at least hold him and help with him a little bit, so that was helping with the blues.
Then Monday I had to stop breastfeeding because his weight loss was positively scary. He was 8 lb 4.1 oz when he was born, and he was then 7 lb 8 oz , gradually losing, he hadn't gained a single bit since we brought him home (he was 12 days old by then). So we had to start him on goat's milk (thank goodness we weighed him yesterday, and in 3 days he gained 8 oz! ) , which was a major depressor, and I haven't been out of the house willingly since then :\
I cry every night. I couldn't bring him into this world, and I can't even help him thrive in this world.

Things suck so hard right now :\ /rant

Honestly things WILL get better...I had the same experience as you...I ended up with an emergence C-sec and my baby needed to be supplemented with formula before even leaving the hospital....I had a goal of bf until one year I stopped producing breast milk at 3 months. This is a tough time, be kind to you, take care of you and be nice to yourself. You are ensuring your baby is thriving simply by attending to his needs, whether that is through bf or goats milk, you are making it happen!
Your baby is only two weeks old...most of us by then couldn;t even find the energy to type! Go easy...
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