Its so subjective though! Most of us only experience labour a few times, and compared to wandering around shopping and having a coffee...it IS a horrendously painful experience which can leave women traumatised.

Your birth experience in YOUR eyes may be given a silver star of 'horrid labours' but I am sure there are women who have MUCH worse experiences!! Women giving birth in 3rd world countries alone in a disgusting environment to a baby who passes away because it is so unsanitary and the mothers die from blood loss!

Thanks bubs82. I know it is a relatively short time. I just get frustrated that I feel the way I do.

Yes that happens, and its tragic. But it doesnt mean that because people have worse experiences that ur own experience wasnt traumatising. Forgive me if iv misunderstood ur point, but i dont think its particularly sensitive to say something like that on a post where were clearly struggling with our experiences and have come here for support. We're lucky our daughter is alive. She was rushed straight to nicu and we watched her suffer for 3 weeks in hospital and have surgery twice, the first at 2 days old. She had so many needles put in her they ran out of veins and had to use her forhead to try and attach her pic line in the end. Whilst im very grateful that she could get all the care she needed, just because people have worse experiences doesnt make what we went through any less painful.

I know, me too. I pictured my maternity leave being wonderful as well as tiring but the first few weeks were such a let down in terms of not feeling how I thought I would. It's getting better but I'm not 'loving life' like I thought I would. But I dream of hospitals and not being in control and feel so numb sometimes, like I'm watching my life through glass. I think we worry too much about other peoples opinions and expectations too xx

noooo, my point (I see now badly put across) was that its completely subjective to each woman! We all have our own ways of coping with labour! The OP is getting frustrated by other women who think their labours were awful, but who are we to tell other people how they should feel!

And mentioning the 3rd world country women was just trying to illustrate that if the OP is putting her labour on a scale of 'deserving to moan about horrific labour' then there are far worse experiences out there!

I can totally relate to that. I left College because I wanted to have baby number 3. In my head I really thought things would go the same way they had with my other two. I envisaged it all being a wonderful experience, but even the pregnancy was so different this time. I do feel numb sometimes too, like I'm not really myself at all and I hate that. For the first few weeks I had my Mum asking me how my mood was all the time, and to be honest that just made it worse.

I think it is a natural process. I have to work through this. It will take time and I have to be patient with myself. Patience is not one of my strong points though.

I guess that's what we all do. Giving birth is an amazing rollercoaster and it is no wonder that even after a relatively straightforward birth we can feel overwhelmed. Our bodies have been through so much physically, emotionally and mentally not just at the birth but before and after. No other experience in my life has ever been like it. I think sometimes I forget what a momentous event it actually is. Women are really amazing when you stop to think about it.

I feel Sooo much better knowing u have felt like I do sometimes ! But I think the major thing is that we recognise these feelings and know we are working through it. We will be ok and yes my mum has txt me every day bless her, and its starting to grate answering the are u ok thing every day - also, I know these feelings aren't going to go overnite. But some people ask if I'm ok and don't want to hear I'm not - frustrating , 24 hours or a couple of days ain't gonna fix it ! It's not a switch ! Bleh. Xx

I hear that!!!

We will get there. We just need the time and the space

I feel better too knowing that I'm not alone either. Thanks for your posts bubs.

And thank u xx

Thank you ladies for posting your stories! Every single one of you are so brave and have been through so much! Your stories break my heart. It is so great that we can all support each other. I don't know of anyone in my acquaintance that had a traumatic birth so I am glad to meet you ladies, even if it's just online.