It probably depends on what people's expectations are going into it. If someone expects to get pain relief right away and assumes that everything will be a breeze, and it ends up not going that way...it's probably a horrible labour in their eyes.

I wouldn't call my birth traumatic by any means, but there were some bumps. I wasn't progressing from 9cm and couldn't stop my body from pushing, so the nurse had to push my cervix out of the way with her hands. BY FAR the most painful thing I've ever experienced. After delivery I bled excessively and needed an IV for two days. Had several bad tears that took two hours to stitch up (and didn't get to hold my baby while they were doing it...which I still don't understand!)

But, I went into labour with zero expectations. I didn't assume it was going to happen any particular way. So I wasn't disappointed in the slightest. I don't feel like my complications were all that bad; I know things could've been worse. The only thing I think would make me think of my birth as 'traumatic' would be any complications with my baby.

Sorry to hear what you went through and that you're struggling with it. Can't imagine worrying about my baby like that.

Thank you everyone for the responses.

I see what many of you are stating about it all being subjective. That does make sense and does shed light on my thoughts.

My intent of this thread was not to get anyone else upset. I only was trying to understand.

pcake: I am very sorry to hear about your LO, but am very happy that she is doing much better now.

Thanks kristy, but it totally proves ur point for me personally- i was still pregnant when i first read ur birth story and it honestly terrified me. But since what happened to Amy, now i read ur story and it doesnt sound as bad, even though i know it was awful for u. So i guess its about ur own experience really. also, i dont think many people really expect much to go seriously wrong when they have a baby. By tghe time we give birth weve had so many scans and tests that i guess we think were out of the woods- i know i did, i thought wed be home the next day! So if it deviates even a little bit from that then i guess its expected that people will feel upset by that. So glad lovely little Leah is ok too. Shes gorgeous