Hi I had my ds by elective c section(breech) 11 weeks ago, I didn't know he was breech until I saw a different mw when I was 39 weeks. She knew straight away he was breech and I was sent to get a scan and sure enough he was. I didn't want ecv so they booked me a c section on my due date. It was a lot to take in, I wanted a natural birth like I had with my dd. Anyway the c-section went fine and I felt well enough to go home the next day.

Since then ive just not felt as though I've bonded with my son, when he was 'born' I didn't feel love at first sight. I thought I would as he got older but he's 3 months next week and when I look at him I don't know how I feel and sometimes I don't even know who he is. I remember being besotted with my daughter almost immediately after she was born even though I had a long painful labour and ventouse delivery. Sometimes I don't even feel like he's my son and I feel so guilty about it, it feels like the baby I was pregnant with isn't the baby I went home with. Which I know is silly and that he is mine but I can't help feel like the surgery took away the fact I was having a baby. I don't feel like I can tell anyone, my dh definitely won't understand.

Has anyone else felt this way? I seem to end up in tears every day.

X

Oh hun..Im so sorry your feeling this way. I do know how you feel though. I had an ecs with my first after a very long labor and didn't feel anything when he came out but did start feeling love and stuff after a few days and it grew with time..
with my second I managed to have a vbac and like you said I felt in love instantly when I saw him and I feel so attached to him till this day.
with my third, who is now 2 weeks old, I had to have a c-section because he was breech and I was devastated when I knew he was breech because I was so looking forward to a nother vbac..when he came out I didn't feel a thing! instead I was thinking to myself "oh boy, why does he look like that ) and I was so worried after he came out and kept telling my husband that I don't feel anything towards him yet!! he was telling me its because im under so much going on at the moment. the next day I felt so much love for him but im so ashamed to say that I was most crazy about my second child out of all of them!
I can't say this stuff to anyone as I feel terrible just feeling it and thinking it to myself..but I assure you that eventually you will ofcourse love him to death its just that you've been disappointed with the birthing method and went thru so much its hard to swallow.

I know one day I will feel better about it all, I know my love for him will grow and keep growing. It's just hard at the moment, I don't feel a connection at all. Also I keep worrying when he's older that I'll forever feel guilty for how I felt towards him. Thanks for your reply.

X

i had assisted delivery and i didnt get the love at first sight. Its took me months of bonding to feel like she is mine. She is 8 months now and its only been the last couple of months she has felt like one of the family. Makes me feel like i missed out on that special first moments people always talk about.