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Old Apr 16th, 2012, 18:50 PM   #1
larudy13
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my mom just called me fat.


i went to get a haircut to try to make myself feel better because i am really struggling to accept my post partum body...
I gained 60 lbs when I was pregnant, at my heaviest I was 215lb
Now I weigh 185lb 1 month postpartum.
I am breastfeeding and I thought the weight was supposed to come off faster...
Anyways I got a haircut shoulder length with bangs, and my dad was saying he likes the length but not my bangs, and my mom said she liked it but I went to the other room, she tells my dad and brother "Oh the way she got her bangs it makes her look less fat"
so I walked back into the room and said "Gee Thanks that was mean"
and she goes "well i didnt think you could hear me I mean your hair cut makes your face look less fat"
I go "well what do you expect I had a baby 1 month ago the fat doesnt just disappear" and my ass of a brother goes "That was a month ago you think you would have lost more weight..."

Its like I am only 20 years old and its so freaking hard to accept that my body will never be like it was pre pregnancy. I wear sweats and baggy shirts because I feel so depressed about my body. so now i am sitting here crying because i look like a fat cow and nobody cares about my feelings.. and like if I eat i always get told I eat too much and I will always be fat if I eat like I do, but im breastfeeding and I have to eat you know?
i got horrible stretchmarks all over my stomach and If I was fat too I probably wouldnt mind but its sooo horrible and I seriously hate myself and will probably never feel beautiful.


 
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Old Apr 16th, 2012, 20:00 PM   #2
try4girl
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I hope your day got better I know what you mean. I breastfed and I don't think I really saw the weight loss for a few months. Just hang in there it does get better. My only warning to you is to watch for signs of PPD I got it with both my boys I think a lot of it had to do with all the weight that I gained and was having issues losing it. Good Luck message me if you want to talk.


 
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Old Apr 17th, 2012, 05:23 AM   #3
Jayneypops
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Hi, sorry to hear this hun. I think sometimes people speak without thinking - especially families!
My dad said the other day that I could do with borrowing an exercise bike from somewhere! just a passing comment to him but it really hurt and I keep thinking about it.

Anyway, you just make sure you're happy and have enough energy to look after your LO, thats all that matters. Pregnancy has a huge effect on our bodies and its easy for people to forget when they had their babies a long time ago.

x


 
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Old Apr 17th, 2012, 14:21 PM   #4
jenniferttc1
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After the first month the weight fell off faster for me. I lost the first 17 pounds in the first week and the other 3 weeks didnt loose anything else. But the other 5 weeks i've lost about 1-2 pounds a week. You'll lose it hun, dont worry. Some women even keep some weight on them while feeding and when your done it sheds off fast. I eat a little more now cause I burn so many calories, but I stayaway from the sweets. You will be back, and the stretchies will fade.


 
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Old Apr 18th, 2012, 08:31 AM   #5
eulmh82
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so you've lost 30 pounds in 4 weeks -I would say that's pretty good going!!!! I've managed to lose 16 pounds in 4 weeks. Ignore your mum and just keep looking after yourself and the baby


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Old Apr 19th, 2012, 12:22 PM   #6
Redclaire
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You'd think your mom (like mine!) would have more sympathy being a mother herself!!
My mom arrived on easter sunday, expecting a dinner to be made for her!! little fella only 3 weeks old, and i had had an afternoon shower cos he was asleep, so i was in PJs. She then told me to be careful of PND (she had it after my sister) and warned me that any little thing could make me upset (sounds like she's nice , right??!!) She then told me my arse was bony but my stomach was flabby and that i should get a roll-on (like bridgetjones-sucky-in nickers from the 1950's!!)cos my OH wouldn't fancy me as i had let myself go!!! Now mam knows i had ALOT of stitches downstairs and could not even sit in my car for more than 3 mins so bullet proof pants were not going to be comfortable, practical and more than than i couldn't give a crap if my tummy is a bit flabby less than a month after having an 8lb 12 baby!!!
Now i didn't put on any weight when i was pregnant, and have lost about a stone (14 pounds) since he was born and i'm worried i've gone too skinny!! You are not ment to loose too much too quickly after a baby, you need your energy, you need to keep eating healthy and if you want to loose weight 2lb a week is the safe amount to loose!! you have already lost 30lbs!! well done but dont overdo it!! You are a fabulous new mom, it took 40 weeks to put on the weight give yourself at least that to loose it!!
Best of luck and ignore your daft mother, if she can't say something nice tell her to shut the hell up!!


 
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Old Apr 23rd, 2012, 08:12 AM   #7
sandilion
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Wow sorry to hear you were treated that way .. id be telling them to go fuck themselves personally.


 
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Old Apr 23rd, 2012, 10:13 AM   #8
Pielette
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I'm with sandilion, what a nasty thing to say and why does it make it better if you don't hear it? I think that's horrible and I'm not surprised it has upset you.
Please try not to let it get to you. Your body has just nurtured and grown a wonderful little human being and that is the greatest thing it can and will do. No its not exactly the same now, but it's not going to be forever! Give yourself some time and it will get better.
Personally I'm more proud of my body than I've ever been. I've got a jelly belly now when I used to have a flat stomach, but I used to much more self conscious than I am now. My body just did a wonderful thing and I've come to embrace that.
I'm making a big effort to eat healthily and exercise and it's slowly toning up. Please don't eat less, just try to make sure you eat nutritious meals and take care of yourself, you need the nutrients and so does your baby.

As far as your family is concerned - how old is your brother? Because that strikes me as a comment from a very immature man, who has no concept of pregnancy or family. Ignore him. As for your mother, I'm horrified that somebody who has given birth themselves would think that about another woman, let alone her own daughter.
Oh and make sure you look after yourself in other ways. I made sure I had a shower every day, did my hair nice and put a bit of make-up on, and I felt much better about how I looked. It's just little things that take a few minutes, but for me it was invaluable.


 
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Old Apr 24th, 2012, 19:42 PM   #9
redstiletto
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The weight does come off breastfeeding and you will see it around 6 months. Counting calories helps too! Stick to 1500-1800 calories per day and the weight will come off for sure...even more if you add a little exercise. Stay positive and congrats with the baby


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Old May 6th, 2012, 12:40 PM   #10
MHMum
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People are mean, especially family! My mother has been calling me fat since I was a child. And my father-in-law told me that I was still fat 8 months after the birth of my daughter.
I have 2 children (3 years old and 22 months old). I breastfed both of them and I still have not lost all the weight I gained during my pregnancies. But now, I am doing sport and I feel better.
Don't pay attention to what people say, otherwise you will feel depressed! Life is beautiful and you as well!


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