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Old Oct 16th, 2017, 15:33 PM   1
hmcx
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Nervous about telling people


So I'm 14 weeks +1 now
And we haven't actually told people.
I told a few close friends aroung the 9 week mark but no one else.

We have a 7 year old daughter and decided to tell her on Thursday and then tell our families after

But now the nerves are kicking in and I'm worrying that if we tell our daughter and then something goes wrong how will I ever explain that to her.

My oh doesn't seem to understand at all and thinks that I'm just being silly. I know that it was an early loss last time, but that fear is still there.
This is that stage where you don't have symptoms any more, the bump hadn't appeared and it's too early for movement.
So there's nothing to make me feel reassured.



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Old Oct 16th, 2017, 16:06 PM   2
karoolia
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I felt this way, actually I still feel this way. We told our parents at 13 and 14 weeks and close extended family at 17 weeks. We just publicly announced last week at 19 weeks.

It's hard because after a loss you can't help, but worry. I have no advice in regards to other children because I don't have any, but I understand how you feel. Do you have a doppler? We bought our own and I felt a little better being able to listen to the heartbeat before/after telling someone.



 
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Old Oct 17th, 2017, 08:41 AM   3
hmcx
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Quote:
Originally Posted by karoolia View Post
I felt this way, actually I still feel this way. We told our parents at 13 and 14 weeks and close extended family at 17 weeks. We just publicly announced last week at 19 weeks.

It's hard because after a loss you can't help, but worry. I have no advice in regards to other children because I don't have any, but I understand how you feel. Do you have a doppler? We bought our own and I felt a little better being able to listen to the heartbeat before/after telling someone.

I don't really trust dopplers
It's great if you think you can hear something but if you can't then it's something else to worry about

We've got my daughter a t shirt and a new doll to help with telling her
And then are going to let her tell our families by wearing the tshirt.

So if we don't tell her, I won't be telling anyone else yet either
But my husband is really keen to tell his mum this weekend as we are going to visit and she lives 250miles away



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Old Oct 17th, 2017, 15:03 PM   4
karoolia
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I 100% agree that dopplers can bring on unnecessary worry. I trust ours because my husband is trained in using them (he's a family doctor), but I have found as I have gotten further along I can find the heartbeat on my own easily now.

Like you we finally told our families because we were visiting and won't see them again until after the baby is born. It's hard to pass up an opportunity like that. But if you don't feel ready, don't feel like you have to tell. I have found that most people were surprised we didn't tell sooner, but everyone accepted our decision to keep it secret. No one made us feel bad.



 
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