I am so scared!

shirlls · Dec 5th, 2011, 05:18 AM

I've had 2 mcs at 5 weeks, and with both I had strong UTI pains from 7 dpo until the days I miscarried, and I also had these 'weird' cramps in the pitt of my stomach that were similar to AF pains but not quite AF pains, they were different too. I know cramps don't necessarily mean there is anything wrong, as it could just be uterus stretching, but they were too severe to be normal.

My husband and I have been ttc #3 and I am currently 9 dpo. I have been getting these 'weird' cramps in my lower abdomen again so I buckled and took a home test this morning and there was a very faint bfp. I know it might seem weird to you, but although I am genuinely happy to have at least conceived successfully (if that test is correct) and I realise that I am very lucky to have done that as I know so many ladies can't, or have trouble conceiving. But I am not excited at all about my bfp, I feel like I can't be in case I lose it again.

I am just so scared and angry at myself for feeling like this when it is something I want so much!

Ibelieve.PTC · Dec 5th, 2011, 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shirlls

I've had 2 mcs at 5 weeks, and with both I had strong UTI pains from 7 dpo until the days I miscarried, and I also had these 'weird' cramps in the pitt of my stomach that were similar to AF pains but not quite AF pains, they were different too. I know cramps don't necessarily mean there is anything wrong, as it could just be uterus stretching, but they were too severe to be normal.

My husband and I have been ttc #3 and I am currently 9 dpo. I have been getting these 'weird' cramps in my lower abdomen again so I buckled and took a home test this morning and there was a very faint bfp. I know it might seem weird to you, but although I am genuinely happy to have at least conceived successfully (if that test is correct) and I realise that I am very lucky to have done that as I know so many ladies can't, or have trouble conceiving. But I am not excited at all about my bfp, I feel like I can't be in case I lose it again.

I am just so scared and angry at myself for feeling like this when it is something I want so much!

hi darling, im so sorry for your loss. I completely understand your feelings. I posted about a week ago about feeling jaded. I too feel scared and not excited about being pregnant again but it is something that I truly want. Its very scary to think that it could happen again. I also feel guilt because I know there are ladies out there who have trouble conceiving but I cant help but feel the way I do. I just want a healthy baby. I just want to fast forward 34 weeks... I wish for you and myself happy, peaceful pregnancies

shirlls · Dec 5th, 2011, 13:22 PM

Hi I.believe.PTC, thank you very much for your kind reply.

I am so sorry for your loss, and I wish you a happy and healthy 34 weeks

xxxxxx

dragonflies · Dec 12th, 2011, 13:02 PM

Sorry for your loss, this is my 4th preg - and the one that stuck. Hubby woudn't let me even do a preg test until 2months in, we knew though in our hearts I was pregnant, but previous losses does lessen the joy. I had loads of cramps with sticky bean too, so I couldn't dare hope. How you are feeling is perfectly normal. I just kept looking at EVERYONE around me and thought - their parents managed to make them, why should i be any different! Weird I know but had (and still do at times) to do things like that to try to stay positive and sane. Hoping that things go well for you hun xox

BeachyBronzer · Dec 13th, 2011, 06:32 AM

Shirrlls, I know its hard to be positive about a BFP after a loss or losses even. Theres always that fear that something will go wrong. I know I was nervous and anxious for much of my pregnancy so far. But each pregnancy is different. Think positive hun. xx

And congrats on your BFP

Dec 5th, 2011, 05:18 AM	#1
shirlls Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 1,105	I am so scared! I've had 2 mcs at 5 weeks, and with both I had strong UTI pains from 7 dpo until the days I miscarried, and I also had these 'weird' cramps in the pitt of my stomach that were similar to AF pains but not quite AF pains, they were different too. I know cramps don't necessarily mean there is anything wrong, as it could just be uterus stretching, but they were too severe to be normal. My husband and I have been ttc #3 and I am currently 9 dpo. I have been getting these 'weird' cramps in my lower abdomen again so I buckled and took a home test this morning and there was a very faint bfp. I know it might seem weird to you, but although I am genuinely happy to have at least conceived successfully (if that test is correct) and I realise that I am very lucky to have done that as I know so many ladies can't, or have trouble conceiving. But I am not excited at all about my bfp, I feel like I can't be in case I lose it again. I am just so scared and angry at myself for feeling like this when it is something I want so much!

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Dec 12th, 2011, 13:02 PM	#4
dragonflies Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 204	Sorry for your loss, this is my 4th preg - and the one that stuck. Hubby woudn't let me even do a preg test until 2months in, we knew though in our hearts I was pregnant, but previous losses does lessen the joy. I had loads of cramps with sticky bean too, so I couldn't dare hope. How you are feeling is perfectly normal. I just kept looking at EVERYONE around me and thought - their parents managed to make them, why should i be any different! Weird I know but had (and still do at times) to do things like that to try to stay positive and sane. Hoping that things go well for you hun xox

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Dec 13th, 2011, 06:32 AM	#5
BeachyBronzer Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Ireland Posts: 1,128	Shirrlls, I know its hard to be positive about a BFP after a loss or losses even. Theres always that fear that something will go wrong. I know I was nervous and anxious for much of my pregnancy so far. But each pregnancy is different. Think positive hun. xx And congrats on your BFP

Status: Offline

Dec 5th, 2011, 13:22 PM	#3
shirlls Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 1,105	Hi I.believe.PTC, thank you very much for your kind reply. I am so sorry for your loss, and I wish you a happy and healthy 34 weeks xxxxxx

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