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Old Jan 12th, 2012, 15:34 PM   1
Lozdi
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Cautiously Pregnant After A Loss. PMA, But Not Taking It For Granted.


Ok so here goes....I have never started a thread before and I'm nervous lol

I lost a baby in November 2011, a MMC. I spent weeks after searching the internet and ended up on a TTC after a loss thread on here, with an absolutely fabulous bunch of ladies who are soooooo loving and supportive. I got a BFP in the first proper cycle after my loss....and I'm ecstatic as well as terrified and very nervous, but now that I am no longer TTC, I don't quite fit in to my regular thread. I obviously don't want to saturate a TTC after a loss thread with BFP talk, its just not right. At the same time I am not ready yet (and probably never will be ready) to jump into a regular first tri thread. So, here I am! It may just be me here, and hopefully Ladies from my old haunt with BFP's and the rest of them WHEN they get their BFPs, and well anyone else who has found themselves with a BFP after a loss, and who can't let themselves fully believe that it will work out just yet.

I am so cautiously pregnant I try not to think about it! And will certainly NOT be taking it for granted! I have had 2 healthy pregnancies and I did take those for granted, but never again! Scan is in 12 days.... I am hoping so much that it all works out, but I can't let myself fully believe that it will just yet....maybe in 8 months or so when I meet Belly for real I MIGHT just allow myself to believe it. Trying to strike a balance between being cautious and maintaining a positive mental attitude is no easy task as I'm sure you know if you are reading this.

I feel a bit odd about starting this thread, almost as if I am tempting fate, but I can't stand the limbo any longer!




 
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Old Jan 12th, 2012, 17:03 PM   2
sarah_anne
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Thanks for starting this Loz! I really appreciate it!

I'm also cautiously pregnant immediately after a miscarriage. I am so worried about miscarrying again that I try not to do anything.

I'm also really nervous about telling anyone. My boss just found out she's pregnant, so they decided to hire another manager so it's not such a huge shock to our organization when she goes on maternity leave. I found out today that I got my promotion, so now I'm a manager. My only problem is that my boss is 13 weeks and I'm 6 weeks. I'm so nervous about telling my boss. I don't know what to do!



 
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Old Jan 12th, 2012, 17:14 PM   3
Lozdi
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I'm not working so I don't have that problem, luckily, but I was when I had my first two, and I told my boss very early on, as I was in retail and some things such as tackling shoplifters was not something I fancied doing while pregnant! I don't intend to tell anyone except immediate family and all the BnB ladies until I'm past 16 weeks this time, although thats probably not doable considering I tend to show fast and obvious!

Try not to stress about it, because they can't fire you for being pregnant. If you are safe and your duties don't really need to be modified then I think its ok to wait a bit before you tell your boss. Be prepared to play it by ear, as you may decide to wait til 12 weeks but is ms gets really bad its bound to be noticed if you start to go green and run for the bathroom!



 
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Old Jan 12th, 2012, 17:25 PM   4
BERDC99
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Girls I understand exactly what you are talking about. The end of August I got a BFP and was so excited cause it was our first month trying. A week later I started bleeding and went to the ER. MY hcg was 46 so I followed up with my obgyn two days later and my hcg was 108. The rollercoaster contuned all week long until I had a ultrasound and they said it was ectopic eeven though the never loacted the pregnancy. I was given methotrexate and told to wait three months to ttc again. In December I got my BFP again after the first cycle trying. I am almost 10 weeks now. I have had two u/s wit this pregnancy. one at 4 weeks to make sure it was in my uterus and one at 7 weeks for a viablity scan where we seen the hb at 164 bpm. I have my NT scan on Feb. 1 and I am scared to death to go to it. I have read so many scary stories in the first trimester. I am starting to feel my uterus getting hard, but I wish they was a more reassuring way of knowing everything is okay in the meantime while I wait for my next scan.

Congrats to both of you on your BFP's.



 
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Old Jan 12th, 2012, 17:37 PM   5
Lozdi
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Hi Berd I'm sorry for your loss, and congratulations on this bean! Its good that they gave you 2 scans already! I know theres no amount of 'it probably won't go wrong this time' that can make you less nervous. The thing is, when we have a loss we need answers that the doctors just can't give, and many of us turn to Google, and because of our experiences, we are looking in places where the stories of what can go wrong are plentiful, and it does add to our worries but personally, I find I prefer knowing all possibilites, even if its scary.

I'm in the UK and so I don't know how things work near you, but is it possible to visit a midwife or OB regularly just for a few minutes to have them feel your uterus and reassure you that its growing at the right pace? They say its palpable past 12 weeks. Its what I intend to do. Its not the same as a scan, but I think its better than just a long wait between regular appointments.



 
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Old Jan 12th, 2012, 17:53 PM   6
SabrinaKat
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Congrats to all you ladies!

As you can see, I'm a bit further along than you (on the countdown to baby next month!) but I still take it one day at a time. We were able to get an early scan at 9wks and that reassured us a great deal (there was an actual baby in there!), so guys, you might consider a private scan at 8-9wks just to reassure you....

(and yes, you will worry the entire nine months, but it does get easier (once you hit past 12wks, when you feel baby moving, etc.))

best wishes



 
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Old Jan 12th, 2012, 17:56 PM   7
BERDC99
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lozdi View Post
Hi Berd I'm sorry for your loss, and congratulations on this bean! Its good that they gave you 2 scans already! I know theres no amount of 'it probably won't go wrong this time' that can make you less nervous. The thing is, when we have a loss we need answers that the doctors just can't give, and many of us turn to Google, and because of our experiences, we are looking in places where the stories of what can go wrong are plentiful, and it does add to our worries but personally, I find I prefer knowing all possibilites, even if its scary.

I'm in the UK and so I don't know how things work near you, but is it possible to visit a midwife or OB regularly just for a few minutes to have them feel your uterus and reassure you that its growing at the right pace? They say its palpable past 12 weeks. Its what I intend to do. Its not the same as a scan, but I think its better than just a long wait between regular appointments.
I asked my ob doctor if I could have my appt every two weeks instead of every four and he told me there is not reason for it. It said the chance of mc is only about 1-2% now that we have seen the hb and that I just need to relax. Easy for him to say cause it is not his body.



 
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Old Jan 12th, 2012, 18:03 PM   8
Lozdi
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Its ridicluous how they think quoting percentages at us is in any way reassuring! I only got agreement for a quick check once a week after 12 weeks because my midwife visits the health center thats literally just up the road from me, and she will do it at the end of her appointments.



 
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Old Jan 12th, 2012, 18:07 PM   9
Lozdi
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SabrinaKat View Post
Congrats to all you ladies!

As you can see, I'm a bit further along than you (on the countdown to baby next month!) but I still take it one day at a time. We were able to get an early scan at 9wks and that reassured us a great deal (there was an actual baby in there!), so guys, you might consider a private scan at 8-9wks just to reassure you....

(and yes, you will worry the entire nine months, but it does get easier (once you hit past 12wks, when you feel baby moving, etc.))

best wishes
Hi Sabrina! Congratulations! I have an early scan booked already, my epau took pity on me and let me have it with no referral, (I have no gp in particular so no trust relationship with one) its in 12 days. But I will be going for a private scan too, inbetween the early one and the 12 week one. They aren't particularly cheap, but worth the peace of mind.



 
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Old Jan 12th, 2012, 21:42 PM   10
Clobo
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Hi everyone

I'm Cloey and we have been trying for two years, I have PCOS so don't ovulate regularly which doesn't help!! Last February I had a mc at 11 weeks although I'd had early scans so knew earlier that things weren't progressing. It was so sad and scary although I had lots of supportive friends and family!

After my last clomid round I was told to have a natural cycle to see what my body would do and look what it did!!!! I figure that's challenge one out of the way and now challenge two is to get a healthy scan which I'm having on the 25th jan at the fertility centre I've been going to, they are so lovely there!

Loz you took all the words out of my mouth chick, trying to br cautious but at the same time stay positive! We are moving house right now and ivd felt so bad all I've done us dust and unpack light stuff!!!

Sarah, nice to see you my dear

Sabrina and Berd, nice to meet you and congratulations on your pregnancies!! Thanks for letting us know that it does get easier!!

So what are all your symptoms? As you can see mine is waking up too early!!!

Xxx



 
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