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Old Nov 29th, 2012, 22:13 PM   1
beachgal
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a hard, emotional night :(


I finally told the FOB today. I considered not telling him and finally did after 4 weeks of knowing.
I really liked him and thought we were doing well, until 1 week before I tested positive. He gave me the "we are getting too serious and I think we need to cool things off" Which really meant, i'm not going to call or see you anymore. We certainly didn't plan this, and weren't together for a long time. Things were still pretty new in a sense, but became serious very fast.

My fear when I tested positive was that I was going to face rejection again. I was so overwhelmed with fear, shock, and emotions that I knew there was no way I could handle him telling me that he didn't care for me or the baby.

Finally today I broke down and told him. He was obviously shocked and said he needed some time to think about things. I went to see him tonight and he asked me multiple times if I'm really going to keep it (thinks I should terminate). He was understandable in shock and upset and did his share of crying.

He says he needs time to figure out if he can do this. I told him I will do this alone if I have to. I'm sick to my stomach right now... more because I think it is the rejection of someone not wanting to be with me and be a part of this. I feel alone in a lot of ways...I had hoped to do this with a spouse, and not as an unplanned accident.
I know there are a lot of positives in my situation, and believe me I have been thinking and reminding myself regularly of all of them. It's just tonight was a hard conversation to have, and to hear. I'm just feeling a little unloved that's all. Damn emotional pity party...



 
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Old Nov 30th, 2012, 01:59 AM   2
Nitengale
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I'm sorry you have to go through this right now while pregnant. I would feel the same way,it is not an easy situation at all. Keep your head up. We don't know what the future holds for us. Take care of yourself and LO. I here if you need a chat.



 
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Old Nov 30th, 2012, 05:23 AM   3
Beccaboop
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Im sorry your going through this! I hope your partner comes round to the idea after hes gotten over the shock and things work out for you both xxxx



 
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Old Nov 30th, 2012, 06:01 AM   4
MumToEva
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Hey Hun. Don't write him off just yet - it's a lot for anyone to deal with, so give him a bit of time to come to terms with it and decide what he wants to do. I know it's not the way you wanted this to happen, but you can't change that now, so you just have to accept what he decides. If he decides he wants to be involved with the baby, then great, every child deserves a daddy who loves them. But if he doesn't then there are positives to that too - you won't have to drop your LO off for weekends with daddy when all you want to do is have them with you, compromise your parenting decisions to take into account daddy's wishes, etc. If he does decide to be involved with the baby, just be wary of getting back together for the wrong reasons, as you have to be really sure there is something between you now for the sake of the baby rather than risking a bad relationship with someone who is going to be a part of your life forever, whether you like it or not.



 
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Old Nov 30th, 2012, 23:12 PM   5
beachgal
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Fob came over tonight and we tried to have a general conversation as friends but of course things ended up about the baby again. He continued on about how I should terminate and how he's not ready for a child. He said its unfair that he doesn't have an option in this. I finally told him that it's better that he's not involved at all because its too stressful for me to know that he doesn't want this baby. He offered to be around for the pregnancy term but not once the baby is born. I said that would be too difficult. He kept hammering me about if I was ready financially and saying that I don't realize how big this is. I had to tell him to stop because its stressing me out and making me sick to my stomach to keep hearing him say those things. I can't handle anymore nights like this because I end up a mess. He's such a pessimist and keeps asking me why I'm so strong and calm. I had to keep telling him that I have a baby to worry about and it's up to me to be healthy and positive.
I'm going to have to shut him out completely and do this on my own. I wish I didn't tell him bc then I wouldn't be going through this added stress and hurt



 
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Old Nov 30th, 2012, 23:23 PM   6
Nitengale
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Oh honey, you are going to get through this. I can't begin to imagine how hard it is having FOB feel like this but you are such an amazing mother already! Look at all your love and strength for your LO! I'm here if you need!



 
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Old Nov 30th, 2012, 23:53 PM   7
sweetavenue
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I agree with Nitengale. You are already an amazing mother, and you can do if alone if that's what needs to happen. Hang in there *hugs*



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Old Dec 1st, 2012, 01:31 AM   8
NerdyMama
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I am sorry youre having to deal with all of this. You can do it sweetie! You are already showing you are a good mama



 
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Old Dec 1st, 2012, 07:35 AM   9
sethsmummy
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im sorry FOB is being like this hun..but you can do it. You are so strong already to have decided to go through with it all on your own! And at least you have told him so he cant accuse you of not telling him. And also at least he has come clean now that he doesn't want to be involved instead of once baby is here. You are a strong woman and you can do this. You already have a strong love for you baby and it will just grow and grow

Congratulations on the little miracle thats growing inside of you



 
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Old Dec 1st, 2012, 07:59 AM   10
baby D
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Hang in there hun it is early days still xx Give him time x



 
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