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Old Mar 10th, 2017, 11:06 AM   1
Dream.dream
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Talk to me about team green


Im considering not finding out babies gender this time. Its our last baby so last chance at this . My husbands concern is being able to plan .

Of you were team green can you tell me pros cons?



 
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Old Mar 10th, 2017, 11:34 AM   2
MindUtopia
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We didn't know with our first, but do want to know for this one. I don't think there's really much difference in planning in terms of whether you have a boy or a girl, unless you want a very gendered nursery and want it set up before baby arrives. As you have older children, you probably have plenty of new baby clothes that are likely fairly gender neutral anyway as so much of it is for little babies (and anyway, it's not like it matters what they wear at first). We just had enough gender neutral vests and sleepsuits to get us through the first 3 months and after that, you can buy whatever you want once baby arrives. Our nursery was green and yellow anyway (because I hate stuff that's really gendered), so it would have made no difference in planning that either.

I do think in retrospect I would have bonded differently with my baby (while I was pregnant) if she'd had a name. If we knew what we were having, we would have known what name she would be called and it would have just had a different feel to it. Not that that's necessarily better, but it was a little bit of a shock when she came out and was a girl. I don't know I knew what to expect (not that it would have been less shocking if she was a boy), just that she almost didn't have an identity to us until then, and then suddenly there she was! We didn't really have time to get our heads around it. We do plan to find out this time, just because we want to be able to tell our daughter what we're having and know what baby's name will be. I think it will help with the transition and help her to get excited before baby arrives. I also just want to do it the other way this time, since we didn't find out last time and this will be our last baby, why not do it the other way? I don't think one way or the other is better though. I don't think it made any difference in terms of planning, but it was more in terms of our adjustment emotionally to what our family would feel like, if that makes sense.



 
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Old Mar 10th, 2017, 14:54 PM   3
Dream.dream
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MindUtopia View Post
We didn't know with our first, but do want to know for this one. I don't think there's really much difference in planning in terms of whether you have a boy or a girl, unless you want a very gendered nursery and want it set up before baby arrives. As you have older children, you probably have plenty of new baby clothes that are likely fairly gender neutral anyway as so much of it is for little babies (and anyway, it's not like it matters what they wear at first). We just had enough gender neutral vests and sleepsuits to get us through the first 3 months and after that, you can buy whatever you want once baby arrives. Our nursery was green and yellow anyway (because I hate stuff that's really gendered), so it would have made no difference in planning that either.

I do think in retrospect I would have bonded differently with my baby (while I was pregnant) if she'd had a name. If we knew what we were having, we would have known what name she would be called and it would have just had a different feel to it. Not that that's necessarily better, but it was a little bit of a shock when she came out and was a girl. I don't know I knew what to expect (not that it would have been less shocking if she was a boy), just that she almost didn't have an identity to us until then, and then suddenly there she was! We didn't really have time to get our heads around it. We do plan to find out this time, just because we want to be able to tell our daughter what we're having and know what baby's name will be. I think it will help with the transition and help her to get excited before baby arrives. I also just want to do it the other way this time, since we didn't find out last time and this will be our last baby, why not do it the other way? I don't think one way or the other is better though. I don't think it made any difference in terms of planning, but it was more in terms of our adjustment emotionally to what our family would feel like, if that makes sense.
Ive heard before people saying the bonding is different when you know vs when you do . Thank you for the perspective .

I do wonder what our older ones will think and if it would affect them bonding with baby



 
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Old Mar 11th, 2017, 04:21 AM   4
Betty.Rubble
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I knew with my DD her gender and had a name picked out. It was nice for bonding but we're team green/yellow this time. DD doesn't mind not knowing if baby is a boy or girl - she just wanted a sibling.

I would say give it a try at team green if it's your last baby x



 
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Old Mar 12th, 2017, 21:27 PM   5
lilmisscaviar
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I knew for all my babies but really wanted to go team green this time. DH however is not of the same idea as me. Actually if it wasn't for his insistence in my last pregnancy, I probably would have kept her a secret too until birth since we already had one of each. This will be our last baby however so I kind of want it to be a surprise although I understand that a lot of folks take advantage of the modern day equipment to be able to tell gender. Back in the day when my mother was pregnant with me, ultrasound wasn't that great and so she didn't know what I was until birth. I do agree that once you know the gender and they have a name that it seems more real because you can them refer to the baby as him or her instead of "it" or "the baby". On the other hand, I also think that some people, like me, were pressured into knowing what the baby was because you have those annoying friends and relatives that just HAVE to know what you're carrying so they can buy cute gender specific things for the baby. Personally I really wanted neutral colors at my baby shower in case I had more kids I could just reuse them since they would be grown out of in a few months anyways.



 
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Old Mar 13th, 2017, 06:36 AM   6
Sommerfugl
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I found out with our first but didn't our second and I think the only con was not knowing if we should get rid of our first daughter's clothes or hoard them in case we had another girl! I like gender neutral baby clothes and things anyway so I didn't feel there was much we needed to plan. I found the experience of not knowing to be more 'special' in a way, it was a lovely surprise and added to the excitement and I'm glad we experienced what it was like not to know.

I was sure I was going to have a surprise again this time, however, after reading into nub theory I've found myself really wanting to know, plus my two daughters really want to know and I'm finding this time the pregnancy feels a lot less 'real' due to lack of movements and lack of free time mostly, I wouldn't say finding out the gender helped me to bond more, but I think this time it might help it all just feel a bit more real if 'it' becomes he or she and it might help my children prepare mentally a little more.

Another thing - names, it took us three weeks to think of a name for our second daughter! So that's one pro of knowing I suppose.

I'm mostly decided that I will ask at my scan tomorrow, but kind of sad to lose the surprise. I'll still be buying mostly gender neutral clothes and hopefully not telling the world.



 
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Old Mar 13th, 2017, 14:02 PM   7
Dream.dream
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I think my family will be bummed not knowing ehat baby is to buy things . But we do baby showers after baby anyways .



 
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Old Mar 15th, 2017, 02:43 AM   8
Beckymum2
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I'm in two minds so I can't give you any advice. This will be my last baby so I do want a surprise but I keep changing my mind. I didn't find out with DS, did with DD. Both times I think I bonded well with the bump but it was nice to buy outfits for DD before she was born. I'm buying mostly grey bouncers, sheets etc



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Old Mar 16th, 2017, 15:19 PM   9
SweetPea3200
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I've only had one previous pregnancy but staying team green was amazing and we'll be doing it again this time. Once DS was born the doctor asked DH to announce the gender and it was a super nice moment I think if you don't have a preference then not finding out is the way to go! If you want one or the other then finding out early is a good idea in case you feel any disappointment you can deal with it before the LO is born



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Old Mar 18th, 2017, 08:03 AM   10
inkybunny
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SweetPea3200 View Post
If you want one or the other then finding out early is a good idea in case you feel any disappointment you can deal with it before the LO is born
I think this is why we're hoping to find out. It's not that we desperately want one over the other, but my husband really thinks it's a girl - to the point that he's convinced me and we'd both be really shocked to find ourselves with a boy now! So at least we could get the shock out of the way early.



 
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