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Old Apr 1st, 2017, 23:33 PM   1
StillPraying
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Afraid of Gender Disappointment


First I need to say that I feel badly enough and I don't anyone adding to that.

I have 2 beautiful girls and we adore them...but DH has always wanted a boy. Of course a lot of men want a boy, but it doesn't help that he is the last with his last name in his family

When we found out dd1 was a girl, DH joked poking me asking "where's the reset button?" He was kidding but it crushed me.
With dd2....he just said "I knew it" and I felt like I had let him down.

With Luke he was so excited. He joked that hed wrap me in bubble wrap, talked about being a baseball/football coach, and having a starwars nursery lol sadly we lost him 2 weeks later

Today I asked him what his guess was, and he said "Oh I know it's another girl" and when I reminded him that he thought the same with Luke, he said he was pretty sure that was a fluke

We decided to do a 15 week private ultrasound for our reassurance that all is okay, and also to find out gender. I am terrified. As the day gets closer (April 10th) just thinking of the scan sends me into a panic. #1because I'm terrified to have another loss (thank God for my doppler) and #2because I just don't want to see his disappointment if this one is another girl

please don't misunderstand, my dh loves his girls and he's an awesome dad and has never tried to make me feel bad or anything like that...this is just me wanting to so badly give this to him.

Thanks for letting me vent ladies , I'm so sorry this was awkwardly long



 
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Old Apr 2nd, 2017, 01:37 AM   2
Xpecta
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It's so normal to feel this way. There is a whole section for this. Lots of people have felt that way. The only thing you can think of is eventually (If baby turns out to be a girl) you will get used to it. Don't take it too hard. Don't beat yourself up for feeling this way either.



 
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Old Apr 2nd, 2017, 06:50 AM   3
pinkpassion
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We are in the exact same position (minus having confirmation of a boy) and it's exactly why I've decided to be team yellow! With dd2 the disappointment on dhs face (and he continued for about 5 days) was so painful!! I've lost 5 babies, and he often says "you can't carry boys" which hurts me so bad! I finally told him how upset it makes me when he says that, and he's stopped. I decided on team yellow because he is an amazing dad and I know that once baby is born it won't matter to him at all, but I can tell he is really really hoping for a boy and so am I... it doesn't mean this baby won't be loved any less, and after losses we really are just thankful for a healthy baby at the end of the day!! And he adores our daughter's and they love him so much! So at the end of the day when we get a healthy baby that's all that matters (and I know you know that too) !! But I completely feel you on your feelings!!!



 
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Old Apr 2nd, 2017, 10:40 AM   4
StillPraying
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Thank you ladies. I know at the end of the day this baby will be loved and wanted no matter what. I considered team yellow but I feel like if I saw his disappointment the day the baby was born that would hurt even more. I figure if I find out now and this is another girl, then it gives him time to get used to it. I know that hed get over it, It's just harder when we lost a boy, and having to get through his initial disappointment will be the hard part. Thank you ladies



 
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Old Apr 10th, 2017, 17:25 PM   5
xAmberLFCx
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Hey Hun, im so sorry for your loss of your baby boy Luke He will never be forgotten and always be in your hearts
Good luck for your scan today too! Gender disappointment is real and it doesnt mean you love baby any less! please keep us updated xx



 
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Old Apr 10th, 2017, 18:44 PM   6
StillPraying
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UPDATE
Thank you all for your kind comments. We had our scan today and we are having a boy



 
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Old Apr 10th, 2017, 19:16 PM   7
Srrme
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Oh how lovely. Congratulations!



 
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Old Apr 10th, 2017, 19:28 PM   8
LAR83
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Congratulations! Yay! Just read your first post and the update. Sending sticky vibes to you!!



 
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Old Apr 10th, 2017, 20:22 PM   9
pandn
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Omg congrats !! . Sending major sticky vibes to you!!



 
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Old Apr 12th, 2017, 00:48 AM   10
LittleLala
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Oh wow!! I'm so so happy for you



 
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