How to stop negative comments - Page 2

NuKe · Nov 24th, 2011, 16:15 PM

i would calmly tell her to shut the hell up.

Anais · Nov 24th, 2011, 16:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ovetta2001

My SIL...I don't know of she does it on purpose or not but I am FED UP of her constant need to not say anything nice about my pregnancy.

No I haven't been a Mum to a baby before but I have raised a child (3 years old) for 2 years AND I've spent half my life if not more around children/babies. I know what they need etc. I also know it's different when it's your own but also having one doesn't make you an expert.

I am at breaking point with the constant snide comments dug in. She never directly says anything. It's always 'Just you wait' or 'the worst is yet to come' or when her kid screams 'your turn soon'.

Today I made some joking comment about the OH putting LO in a sling when he spends some time on a game. He comment was 'Yer because she's always just going to lay there and be quiet for you. It's THAT easy...'

What's that all about?!?

It's driving me up the wall...

I would turn it around back to her. The next time she says about hard hard and horrible mothering is, suggest nicely that maybe she should talk to a counsellor as she seems to be finding it difficult. You could also say stuff like 'oh the power of a positive thought' or jokingly tell her that she is sucking the joy out of the room.

She is an energy vampire and unfortunately there are plenty around. Continue to limit your time with her and endeavor to spend time with people who are positive about all things in life. Good luck and don't let her get you down.

Dragonfly · Nov 24th, 2011, 16:31 PM

she sounds like a negative person who had a bad time with her own, perhaps learn what she did and not do it thats what I did from people who said all that crap to me when I was pregnant. I never heard one nice thing said when I was pregnant, same thing as your sis is doing, stupid comments like !you will never sleep again, there goes your life now, are you sure you know what you are letting yourself in for?. oh see that naughty kid you will have that to put up with to. STFU just runs through my head and till this day wen I didnt get any of that crap they said and are no longer my friends i am glad I learned what not to do from them.

cranberry987 · Nov 26th, 2011, 08:35 AM

I think she sounds jealous too. whenever anyone says anything negative i always think well thats sad that theyve had that experience but mine will be different. tell her that too if you like 'not all kids scream 24/7 and if yours does then im sorry, it must be tiring for you'

Torontogal · Nov 26th, 2011, 09:22 AM

Yeah, really, she sounds either miserable, jealous or both. I don't understand people who are tempted to make negative comments. What happened to being constructive?

On the other side of the coin, I really appreciate the people who tell me how much fun I'm going to have and how lovely it will be having a baby around. Those are the people worth listening to!

happynewmom1 · Nov 26th, 2011, 17:20 PM

Wow...I hate it when I get comments like that. I have an almost 16 month old but I realize all kids are so different that I don't feel the need to offer advice unless asked or tell someone how horrible it will be. My baby doesn't like sleeping at night but my sister's twins have since they were really small. All babies are different and I can think of no other joy than being a mom

I don't know how to stop the negative comments...even at this point when people seem to enjoy letting me know how difficult having 2 kids will be. I hope she will finally stop saying things like that to you!

Dragonfly · Nov 26th, 2011, 17:49 PM

1) Extend either arm at an approximately 90° angle perpendicular to the body.

2) Bend arm at the elbow. Position it parallel to the body, forming three sides of a perfect square.

3) Close palm tightly.

4) Fiercely upturn digit between pointer and ring finger.

5) Hold approximately 10 seconds to a minute for emphasis.

Try this it may work.

citymouse · Nov 26th, 2011, 18:01 PM

She sounds like she's pretty miserable. Some people like to make themselves feel better by making other people feel worse.

Next time she says something, I would say, "So you hate being a mom, huh?" And then when she reacts, just tell her she never says anything positive about it.

Honestly, she may not even really know she's doing it. Some people are just in a habit of being negative.

rory83coyotes · Nov 27th, 2011, 03:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fatmumslim

see my SIL is great. but my sister's SIL is a completely wally! she asks me so many innappropriate questions. warns me about stuff (pelvic floor, stretch marks, labour pain) and shes had all of ZERO children. she tells me and my husband to shag to bring on labour infront of my dad. doesnt just touch my bump but lifts my top up!!! and constantly asks about names as if we r going to tell her when only me OH and the dog know! if anyone finds out our chosen name....im blaming the dog! Anyway its made me think i am gonna have to really be there for my sister when she has a baby

shes in for some right stupid comments!

I had one lady touch my belly at the shopping mall with my first. Granted I was at work and she was a customer but I still reached out and grabbed a boob. When she asked why I was touching her I stated "you started first, I just thought we were becoming really close friends" she stopped straight away

pooch · Nov 27th, 2011, 05:10 AM

i would just say to her listen, please keep the negative comments to yourself. i understand it's not all rosy raising a child and they're not always pleasant but i'm trying to stay positive here!
like you don't have enough to worry about now!

Nov 24th, 2011, 16:15 PM	#11
NuKe Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: N. Ireland Posts: 13,888	i would calmly tell her to shut the hell up.

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Nov 24th, 2011, 16:31 PM	#13
Dragonfly Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: N.Ireland Posts: 17,296	she sounds like a negative person who had a bad time with her own, perhaps learn what she did and not do it thats what I did from people who said all that crap to me when I was pregnant. I never heard one nice thing said when I was pregnant, same thing as your sis is doing, stupid comments like !you will never sleep again, there goes your life now, are you sure you know what you are letting yourself in for?. oh see that naughty kid you will have that to put up with to. STFU just runs through my head and till this day wen I didnt get any of that crap they said and are no longer my friends i am glad I learned what not to do from them.

Status: Online

Nov 26th, 2011, 08:35 AM	#14
cranberry987 Other BnB Elite Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Bristol, UK Posts: 10,779	I think she sounds jealous too. whenever anyone says anything negative i always think well thats sad that theyve had that experience but mine will be different. tell her that too if you like 'not all kids scream 24/7 and if yours does then im sorry, it must be tiring for you'

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Nov 26th, 2011, 09:22 AM	#15
Torontogal Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Toronto Posts: 623	Yeah, really, she sounds either miserable, jealous or both. I don't understand people who are tempted to make negative comments. What happened to being constructive? On the other side of the coin, I really appreciate the people who tell me how much fun I'm going to have and how lovely it will be having a baby around. Those are the people worth listening to!

Status: Offline

Nov 26th, 2011, 17:20 PM	#16
happynewmom1 Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: North Carolina, USA Posts: 886	Wow...I hate it when I get comments like that. I have an almost 16 month old but I realize all kids are so different that I don't feel the need to offer advice unless asked or tell someone how horrible it will be. My baby doesn't like sleeping at night but my sister's twins have since they were really small. All babies are different and I can think of no other joy than being a mom I don't know how to stop the negative comments...even at this point when people seem to enjoy letting me know how difficult having 2 kids will be. I hope she will finally stop saying things like that to you!

Status: Offline

Nov 26th, 2011, 17:49 PM	#17
Dragonfly Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: N.Ireland Posts: 17,296	1) Extend either arm at an approximately 90° angle perpendicular to the body. 2) Bend arm at the elbow. Position it parallel to the body, forming three sides of a perfect square. 3) Close palm tightly. 4) Fiercely upturn digit between pointer and ring finger. 5) Hold approximately 10 seconds to a minute for emphasis. Try this it may work.

Status: Online

Nov 26th, 2011, 18:01 PM	#18
citymouse Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 3,916	She sounds like she's pretty miserable. Some people like to make themselves feel better by making other people feel worse. Next time she says something, I would say, "So you hate being a mom, huh?" And then when she reacts, just tell her she never says anything positive about it. Honestly, she may not even really know she's doing it. Some people are just in a habit of being negative.

Status: Offline

Nov 27th, 2011, 05:10 AM	#20
pooch Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: NY state Posts: 1,606	i would just say to her listen, please keep the negative comments to yourself. i understand it's not all rosy raising a child and they're not always pleasant but i'm trying to stay positive here! like you don't have enough to worry about now!

Status: Offline

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