...pregnant with an 'oops'?

I feel absolutely HORRIBLE posting this, I know lots of lovely ladies in ltttc and am loath to offend them or anyone else! But I THINK I am pregnant again, despite not having had my first period and still bfing my son and taking the mini pill (albeit VERY badly ) (I know, I know, bfing is not foolproof! But last time, I sure as h'll knew when I o'd the first time and... and WTF?! We did it ONCE - AGAIN!?!? )

I have wanted a 3rd for a while now, but DH is definitely NOT on board yet going by our discussions over the past few months... Now I am TERRIFIED of a. testing (even though I am 99.9% positive I am, testing will make it REAL) and b. TELLING HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He knew we (I) weren't being careful, in my defense, and we anyway...
I certainly didn't do this on purpose but I'm so afraid he'll think I did! The last thing I want to create in our relationship is mistrust and resentment... But I want this baby!!!

Anyway, sorry, what I wanted to ask was if anyone is/was in the same situation and what you did? How did you tell dh? Did he get on board eventually? etc...

thanks, ladies!
xxx

Hi SwissMiss,

Honestly, I haven't told my hubby yet either even though I've been getting BFPs for a few days now. I know this is probably taboo territory around here, but it is what it is.

We had a "surprise" that ended in a m/c last December, and after that we decided to go ahead and "not prevent." However, I know I am more enthusiastic about it than him. After ONE month, he said, "Well, are you done with trying yet?"

I guess I am sort of waiting to tell him until I am far enough along that I know it won't be a chemical. As awful as it sounds, if he knew about a chemical, he wouldn't understand and would definitely call off trying anymore. When the m/c happened, he said there was no way I (not he) would be able to handle something like that happening again. So I don't know. A loss is tragic but doesn't make me want to throw in the towel!

Not much advice for you I guess, but I feel sort of in the same boat. I will say, when we found out about the surprise before, I was terrified he would freak out but he was actually more excited than me. We have two sons already but they are 17 and 8 and "starting over" is a concern. However now I am afraid he will not be excited anymore as we both feel a little differently now, with me wanting a baby so badly and him on the fence, if not totally on the other side. He DOES know we are not preventing though.

Hopefully we can both work up the courage soon enough. Really, what does it matter? If there is a baby, it will come whether he likes it or not, right? And if he loves the others, there's no way he wouldn't love this one too. I am sure everything will be ok. Maybe wait to test and do the test together, so you can act as shocked as he is and it might go over better.

Best of luck

This is my first and it was a bit of an accident. I had the same thoughts as you though...I had been talking about having a baby for a while and he always said he wanted to wait. So when I tested and it was positive I was so worried he'd think I did it on purpose. It was a big shock for both of us and it took us a little while to get used to the thought but he knows it was just as much of a surprise for me as it was for him...and we're both so happy and excited about it now. I'm sure your husband will know you wouldn't get pregnant on purpose when you'd agreed to wait. He'll love the new baby just as much as the others too.

I think you should test and tell him asap, just to get it over with...you'll not be able to relax with that hanging over your head.

Good luck, and congratulations if you do get your positive result!

Thanks so much girls I still havent tested but I know I am... already hv ms to beat the band, and that is gonna b hard to hide much longer... God I hope he wont bring any other 'option' up... I couldnt do it...
xxx

I'm sure he won't...and if he does, just kindly let him know that it's not an option for you.

That said...please do take the test as soon as possible. I have a friend who thought she was pregnant again shortly after having her little girl. She had all the symptoms and was so sure she was pregnant, but it turned out to have been a cyst. I've never had one, so I don't really know what they are like...but she says she thought 100% it was pregnancy symptoms. She was alright...the cyst was easily treatable...but she was so sad that it wasn't another pregnancy.

So maybe do a test before you stress yourself out any more

I'm also pregnant by accident. I have 2 kids and my last pregnancy ended really badly and nearly cost me my daughters life but she's here and healthy. We decided we weren't going to have any more because of the danger I and my baby were in last time and I had the iud coil put in place.

But for some reason the coil has chosen not to work so I'm pregnant with no.3

I was totally terrified to tell hubby, I don't understand why I was sooooo scared because I didn't do it on purpose. But it took a day n half to tell him, he actually took it really well and now we're both excited about having another baby.
Yes we're waiting on the rollercoaster pregnancy but I should be closely monitored this time so hopefully we'll have a better outcome and a full term baby

I got pregnant accidentally.. so I feel really bad when I see the TTC'ers

It definitely was an "oops" for my boyfriend and I. We were using condoms but on my Thanksgiving break we weren't careful and I think that's when it happened... Two and a half years of religiously using birth control and the one time we didn't. It sucks because we're having issues financially but we both love this baby already and to us, it's an incredible blessing. I really don't have any advice, I guess. You're just not alone.

Swissmiss, have you tested yet?

Hi girls
I did test yesterday again, and I'm not pregnant

All my symptoms are gone too, so I dont know what to think! I'm not usually one to jump the gun like that, but I really was REALLY sure... Wonder if maybe it was a chemical, or sth... ? At any rate, I really REALLY appreciate all your replies, and wish you all a very very happy and healthy 9 months! Enjoy your beautiful surprises when they get here!!
xx