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Old May 9th, 2012, 17:14 PM   1
Kelly M
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Regret Telling People The News?


My dh and I just decided after our scan we would tell our friends about the good news. We announced it to all our close friends (we told family at 4 weeks) and they were so happy for us. It felt so good to finally share with them and I have no regrets telling them. However, I told four other people today who are friends but not super close friends. Everyone asked how far along I am and I said 9 weeks. When I said 9 weeks a lot of people kind of had this look on their face like I shouldn't be telling them. Now, I feel kind of bad announcing it to people so early even though I'm pretty positive the baby is fine and we had a really good scan and heartbeat yesterday. Anyone else have a weird feeling of regret after sharing the news with people they aren't really close to? Is it just hard for me to tell people comfortable because I'm so used to having to hide it like a dirty secret for the past 6 weeks?



 
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Old May 9th, 2012, 17:36 PM   2
linz143
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I'll never understand a person's bad reaction to hearing good news.

For the record, when my SIL announced her pregnancy on facebook at 6 weeks I privately shook my head in disagreeance but publicly was very excited for her. (I only disagree with it because a close friend of mine did the same thing and then had to make another post when she lost it :*()

However, I'm all for telling friends before 12 weeks. I went out to breakfast with a friend on my birthday when I was 6 weeks along and told her. I was so excited. And her reaction... get this... was, "Wait you're only 6 weeks along? Don't you know it's bad luck to tell people before 6 weeks? You know Tally, right? Well she told people both times before 12 weeks and she lost both of those babies."

My reaction, "...........Well it's a good thing I don't believe in bad luck."

And obviously she's wrong since here I am still pregnant at 12 weeks. But for the record, do what feels right to you. If you've seen a heartbeat at this point and you're not spotting or cramping, you're 95% likely to carry to term a healthy and happy baby. And believe me when I say the next 3 weeks will go by faster than the last 3!



 
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Old May 9th, 2012, 17:59 PM   3
Bay
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What you are picking up is probably just them dealing with their own fears and apprehension towards miscarriage and pregnancy, while at the same time trying to process your good news. I know I do this myself, and as much as I try to conceal my fears and try to just project happiness, I am only human and it probably shows.

I wouldn't take their reaction personally and would continue to just do what feels right by you.

Congratulations on your pregnancy



 
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Old May 9th, 2012, 18:16 PM   4
Kelly M
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Everyone seemed genuinely happy for us but maybe I was just picking up on my own projected fears of miscarriage. I'm not really that worried about this baby, it's doing really well so far but maybe it's my subconscious that is coming out. I don't know, I guess I expected it to go differently but I don't know why. I got the usual congratulations and hugs and smiles and somehow it doesn't feel as satisfying as I thought it would. Not that I want people to jump around or anything but I think because I built it up in my head for so long, had to keep the secret for weeks and weeks, it just feels weird finally telling people. I'm rambling and crazy, sorry!



 
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Old May 9th, 2012, 18:19 PM   5
Kelly M
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Oh, by the way. My MIL is in town and one of the first things she says is how pregnant I look. Really? She says she can definitely tell but I only have a little belly that no one else could even notice. She basically just said I am looking fat. I'm only 9 weeks! RUDE!



 
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Old May 9th, 2012, 19:01 PM   6
Bay
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Oh no you don't sound crazy at all Pregnancy is a wonderful time, but it can also be stressful at times too, it's very normal.

I wouldn't worry about what your mil said. She's had kids before so she's probably in tune with that kind of thing and knows what to look out for. Some women (especially mothers) have a keen sense for these things. My DH was outed by a few women at work and his hand was forced to admit that we are expecting again ... and get this, they were only talking about cars and BAM ... they made the link.



 
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Old May 9th, 2012, 19:32 PM   7
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I'm actually not from the USA, (I'm from Guatemala, came here with a Fiance Visa to marry my now hubby). So to my surprise some people disagreed with me telling them I was pregnant when I just found out this Friday! I do not believe in Bad Luck, just in Blessings, so when I told my mom on skype, she said that a pregnancy was a happy news, that it was supposed to be filled by joyful and positive thoughts. She also said she had never heard about the 12 week stuff and that non of her friends had either (she asked). And if God forbid something was ever to happen to my baby, I would have more prayers on my side by the people that knew! So cheer up and chin up! And Congratulations!



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Old May 9th, 2012, 21:40 PM   8
darkstar
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My DH refused to keep it quiet because he said babies are a happy celebration and he wants to enjoy every moment. I told him its tradition to wait until later incase something goes wrong but he said you want to surround your baby with positive thoughts and feelings and not think about bad things. If something bad happens you think about it then and not before lol.
I couldnt very well argue with that.



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Old May 10th, 2012, 03:13 AM   9
mummy1985
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Congratulations on your pregnancy, as those have said above, it's a happy occasion and no-one should be allowed to bring you down. My brother did with my 1st.....he's the last to be told this time round, simples. Those who gave me a "bad" or "unsure" reaction last time will find out later so they have no need to bring me down this time.

When they ask why I didn't tell them sooner, I'll remind them of the awful things they said last time such as "why are you telling me now, anything could happen"

Don't regret a moment of your pregnancy



 
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Old May 10th, 2012, 03:32 AM   10
wewe
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mummy1985 View Post
Congratulations on your pregnancy, as those have said above, it's a happy occasion and no-one should be allowed to bring you down. My brother did with my 1st.....he's the last to be told this time round, simples. Those who gave me a "bad" or "unsure" reaction last time will find out later so they have no need to bring me down this time.

When they ask why I didn't tell them sooner, I'll remind them of the awful things they said last time such as "why are you telling me now, anything could happen"

Don't regret a moment of your pregnancy
I like your experience , cute



 
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