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Old Jan 4th, 2013, 08:33 AM   1
kipkip
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Upset with OH about buying things for baby


Sorry for the rant girls....

I'm currently sitting upstairs a little teary and upset with OH. Basically I'm going sales shopping with my mum tomorrow and told him this earlier, he said 'she's not gonna go and buy a load if shit for the baby is she'

What I have deduced from this is this: my mum is a bit of a bargain queen, topped with a gadget queen too.. She's got ice cream maker bread maker popcorn maker etc that she herself uses intermittently , for xmas me n OH usually get a joint pressie off her as well as loads of other little bits but jot necessarily things we need or anything I.e. This ur she got us an ice cream maker .... I prob won't use it but what can I say to her, thanks but no thanks? Especially wen met wiv her expectant face wen I open it

Now iv lived wiv this all my life wiv my mum buying some things unnecessarily just because it was on offer. But OH is not used to this, my mums lounge is filled wiv presents at Xmas an yes it is a bit OTT now we're all older but OH's mother gives a book and cash which I think is the other end of the spectrum which we're of course v. Grateful for

Now this is my mums first grandchild so she is obviously excited and has already confessed to buying some vests from asdafor the baby and suspect wen we go sales shopping tomorrow she'll wanna buy more stuff.... So to hear OH saying that today really upset me and he said he first wanna end up with 25 teddy bears just coz their on offer. Which is ridiculous!

I said wether she does buy some unnecessary things is irrelevant, way he is sayings offensive to me about my mum and ungrateful for what she does buy us that we love and use all the time.

Am I over reacting due to hormones???



 
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Old Jan 4th, 2013, 08:56 AM   2
katerdid
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No, I would be upset too. Should be thankful she cares enough to want to buy the baby things! Granted you are right, she sounds like she will prolly get a few random things you won't use or need, and prolly get more than enough of others. But its better than a slap in the face!
If there isn't room for all her gifts, then I would donate them to charity where they will be put to good use.



 
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Old Jan 4th, 2013, 08:59 AM   3
xxLeighxx
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No i dont think you are being unreasonable at all, so what if your mum buys some unecessary stuff, you could always take them to a charity shop or carboot if you really know you wont use them! I had abit of a similar thing with OH, my sister wanted to buy bubs a xmas pressie but he tild me to tell her no as we hadnt had the scan yet and was worried incase anything was wrong, i had to burst my sisters bubble a little bit, although she did understand and got over it! I would just ignore OH and enjoy shopping, just tell him your mums excited and shes doing no harm! Just try not to get upset too much xx



 
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Old Jan 4th, 2013, 09:04 AM   4
kipkip
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Thank you I'm glad u agree wiv me and I'm not beig overly sensitive! I'm putting this down to his anal-ness!!

But it's also really agged me that I am now gonna be conscious of going round their wiv OH in case she pulls out something he doesn't deem necessary.

But FFS, if she wants to spend her hard earned cash on the baby then who am I to stop her in her enjoyment? Even if it is a far-out baby gadget that's on offer!

I think he's being so ungrateful and that's what so upsetting!!!!

Ps - on a funnier note, who thinks I shud tell him that she's already bought the baby a halloween bib coz it was on offer! LOL!!



 
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Old Jan 4th, 2013, 09:30 AM   5
first4j
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I think there's a happy medium here. Its nice she's excited so let her go crazy for a little and if it gets out of hand maybe you can politely let her know you have more then enough!

I had that problem with my exes mom. Sweetest woman and when we bought our house she bought us so many gifts. We had stuff everywhere... I'm a minimalist but it was sweet so I found spots... but then she came over and decorated our bathroom... I still stayed quiet.. but it just kept coming... I asked my ex to nicely tell his mom we are so appreciative but we don't need anymore stuff.



 
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Old Jan 4th, 2013, 09:55 AM   6
Foxybabyhg3
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It really depends on the tone of the words. I mean, was it a roll of the eyes like an inside joke due to the buying of bargains? Or was it said with venom? It all depends on the context.
I'm in a similar boat-my sister said she's not buying anything until I'm 6 months to make sure And all I'm trying to think about is the 12 week goal, so then I'll stress until 6 months thinking something will happen.
Maybe he should've been more sensitive, and said it in a different way, but I can see why you'd be a wee bit upset about it.



 
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Old Jan 4th, 2013, 11:07 AM   7
kipkip
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It was the way he said it as well ... I said to him if he said something like 'keep an eye on ur mum make sure she's not wasting her money on stuff we don't need' I'd have no prob wiv that at all! It's the way I say I'm going sales shopping wiv my mum and he said 'she's not gonna go and buy a load of hit for the baby is she' it's just rude!!!

First4j u prob did the right thing by approaching him sensitivly about it whereas OH has now got my back up!



 
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Old Jan 4th, 2013, 11:53 AM   8
first4j
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Agreed! I know better... lol. Especially when realistically they are being really nice... Moms are special people! I'd be upset too if my hubby said anything negative about my mom, she treats him like a son.



 
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Old Jan 4th, 2013, 12:02 PM   9
kipkip
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exactly! my mum treats my OH like a son too! every other sunday she does a MASSIVE roast dinner for us, waits on us hand and foot, let us raid her ample garage full of tools etc when we were doing up the house, we NEVER leave the house empty handed be it with a tool or a leftover beef sandwich!!

She is sooo generous, too generous for her own good but I appreciate it loads and I know OH does with all that I just dont know what his problem is!!

I think he just needs to sort out the WAY he says things coz in my eyes now he's an ungrateful little shit! LOL

My dad called up earlier and said he had a look at the sales stuff in Choice and got some unisex babygrows - even tho my parents are seperated and its not under the influence of my mum - i now feel I couldnt tell OH which is ridiculous!!



 
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Old Jan 4th, 2013, 12:12 PM   10
JenzyKY
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I want to pick out my stuff. I'd be angry.



 
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