Anyones partners not seem bothered about the pregnancy??

ProudMum · Nov 21st, 2009, 02:43 AM

mine doesnt seem to give a crap....
all he seems to care about is the fact that he has to listen to me whittling and worrying and since finding out last week he's mentioned it twice.
when i went to the dr he didnt say "you and baby will be fine" its "you'll be ok"-
plus he has not told his family either and has asked me not to share the news publically in fear of his family hearing it second hand- so whats meant to be a joyest time for a woman is turning out to be nothng but worrysom for me since i cant share my thoughts with my other half in fear of him gettig irritated.
i planned this pregnancy, he may not have, but he knew what he was doing yet somehow i feel i am havin to apologise

Lena · Nov 21st, 2009, 02:48 AM

Don't worry hun! Its still early days. My hubby has only in the past week or two started actually talking about 'peanut' (what we call the LO). I suppose it was made more real for him on monday because we saw the heartbeat and the baby because i had an early scan but now I can see he's really excited about it and he told his mum, dad and brother on thursday.

He'll come around. Men are just funny about these things and it takes a little bit for them to come around to the idea... planned or unplanned.

Kacie · Nov 21st, 2009, 02:59 AM

My oh is still not really talking about the baby.. and even said something about "the situation that I am in"

But, at the same time I think he still (a) doesn't believe it and (b) wants to make sure everything is ok before he comes round to the idea.

I'm sure he will come around as soon as he sees baby on a screen. At first OH said that he didn't want to come to the appointments as they would be "too boring" but I assured him that's NOT an option... he is coming to the scan as everyone I speak to says the hubby only starts being enthusiastic once they see that the baby is actually in there.

Don't worry hun, men are a bit useless at this kind of thing more often than not... but they usually get there in the end.

xx

kc1980 · Nov 21st, 2009, 03:25 AM

totally normal i think. My OH is also like this.. it's SO abstract to them right now. And remember, you are walking around all day with the little creature - he's not! you're feeling all the symptoms - he doesn't!
Scans help (though my first one didn't make it more real to him because it was 4mm long!) & I am SURE that first kick that he can feel himself will too.
I try not to talk about it too much with my OH because I think that frankly the topic bores him. Talk with your girlfriends - they are likely much more interested at this point!

Kacie · Nov 21st, 2009, 03:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kc1980

totally normal i think. My OH is also like this.. it's SO abstract to them right now. And remember, you are walking around all day with the little creature - he's not! you're feeling all the symptoms - he doesn't!
Scans help (though my first one didn't make it more real to him because it was 4mm long!) & I am SURE that first kick that he can feel himself will too.
I try not to talk about it too much with my OH because I think that frankly the topic bores him. Talk with your girlfriends - they are likely much more interested at this point!

yup I get the feeling the topic bores my oh too.. and he really doesn't want to hear about my ms episodes and mood swings... In fact the only symptom he will acknowledge is the bigger boobs lol.

OH got upset that i told a friend about it but I told him I had to talk to someone as he obviously wasn't up for the conversation and he understood and also became a bit more open to certain topics... mainly things like mat leave and practical issues though.

xx

hayley_willis · Nov 21st, 2009, 03:43 AM

My boyfreind didn't really speak much about it until a week before the scan and then the excitement kicked in, now we have seen the little baby is there and ok he kisses my tummy every night before bed and says good nite to the baby :-) They just aren't feeling like you are, I felt I became immediatly in love with the baby when I found out but because its not in their body they have to wait for the visual! x

carries · Nov 21st, 2009, 04:30 AM

I have to say that my Oh is completely on board and excited about this planned pregnancy but he did take some time to be bale to deal with it first time round. That pregnancy was unplanned and I think he just needed some time to adjust.

He was never nasty or flippant but I could tell he was a bit bored and overwhelmed. That first scan did help though and so did the baby bump when I got it.

Remember though, a mother is made as soon as the baby is conceived but a father doesnt really become a father until the baby is born. Cut him a bit of slack and im sure he will come round xx

mightyspu · Nov 21st, 2009, 05:12 AM

He wasn't involved in the planning of the pregnancy? Maybe he's just not used to the idea yet? In what way did he "know what he was doing?" Did you say let's have unprotected sex cos I'm ovulating? Or was it a case of chucking away the condoms? Because men are not always aware that what they are doing can make a baby. They sometimes just presume that we know what we are doing!

He's probably still in shock! He's known something quite big for a week, and you've been planning this for how long?? Maybe he wants it to sink in before everyone starts congratulating him!

Crypto1976 · Nov 21st, 2009, 05:26 AM

I am not sure what you mean about him not being involved in the planning of the pregnancy- did he know you were both trying?

Nov 21st, 2009, 02:43 AM	#1
ProudMum Pregnant (Expecting) BnB Addict Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: lincolnshire Posts: 3,177	Anyones partners not seem bothered about the pregnancy?? mine doesnt seem to give a crap.... all he seems to care about is the fact that he has to listen to me whittling and worrying and since finding out last week he's mentioned it twice. when i went to the dr he didnt say "you and baby will be fine" its "you'll be ok"- plus he has not told his family either and has asked me not to share the news publically in fear of his family hearing it second hand- so whats meant to be a joyest time for a woman is turning out to be nothng but worrysom for me since i cant share my thoughts with my other half in fear of him gettig irritated. i planned this pregnancy, he may not have, but he knew what he was doing yet somehow i feel i am havin to apologise

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Nov 21st, 2009, 02:48 AM	#2
Lena Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 2,098	Don't worry hun! Its still early days. My hubby has only in the past week or two started actually talking about 'peanut' (what we call the LO). I suppose it was made more real for him on monday because we saw the heartbeat and the baby because i had an early scan but now I can see he's really excited about it and he told his mum, dad and brother on thursday. He'll come around. Men are just funny about these things and it takes a little bit for them to come around to the idea... planned or unplanned.

Status: Offline

Nov 21st, 2009, 02:59 AM	#3
Kacie Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: UK Posts: 1,403	My oh is still not really talking about the baby.. and even said something about "the situation that I am in" But, at the same time I think he still (a) doesn't believe it and (b) wants to make sure everything is ok before he comes round to the idea. I'm sure he will come around as soon as he sees baby on a screen. At first OH said that he didn't want to come to the appointments as they would be "too boring" but I assured him that's NOT an option... he is coming to the scan as everyone I speak to says the hubby only starts being enthusiastic once they see that the baby is actually in there. Don't worry hun, men are a bit useless at this kind of thing more often than not... but they usually get there in the end. xx

Status: Offline

Nov 21st, 2009, 03:25 AM	#4
kc1980 Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Switzerland Posts: 1,050	totally normal i think. My OH is also like this.. it's SO abstract to them right now. And remember, you are walking around all day with the little creature - he's not! you're feeling all the symptoms - he doesn't! Scans help (though my first one didn't make it more real to him because it was 4mm long!) & I am SURE that first kick that he can feel himself will too. I try not to talk about it too much with my OH because I think that frankly the topic bores him. Talk with your girlfriends - they are likely much more interested at this point!

Status: Offline

Nov 21st, 2009, 03:43 AM	#6
hayley_willis Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Lancaster, North West Posts: 682	My boyfreind didn't really speak much about it until a week before the scan and then the excitement kicked in, now we have seen the little baby is there and ok he kisses my tummy every night before bed and says good nite to the baby :-) They just aren't feeling like you are, I felt I became immediatly in love with the baby when I found out but because its not in their body they have to wait for the visual! x

Status: Offline

Nov 21st, 2009, 04:30 AM	#7
carries Trying to conceive (TTC) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 1,984	I have to say that my Oh is completely on board and excited about this planned pregnancy but he did take some time to be bale to deal with it first time round. That pregnancy was unplanned and I think he just needed some time to adjust. He was never nasty or flippant but I could tell he was a bit bored and overwhelmed. That first scan did help though and so did the baby bump when I got it. Remember though, a mother is made as soon as the baby is conceived but a father doesnt really become a father until the baby is born. Cut him a bit of slack and im sure he will come round xx

Status: Offline

Nov 21st, 2009, 05:12 AM	#8
mightyspu Mum (Mom) BnB Elite Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: West Berkshire Posts: 14,006	He wasn't involved in the planning of the pregnancy? Maybe he's just not used to the idea yet? In what way did he "know what he was doing?" Did you say let's have unprotected sex cos I'm ovulating? Or was it a case of chucking away the condoms? Because men are not always aware that what they are doing can make a baby. They sometimes just presume that we know what we are doing! He's probably still in shock! He's known something quite big for a week, and you've been planning this for how long?? Maybe he wants it to sink in before everyone starts congratulating him!

Status: Offline

Nov 21st, 2009, 05:26 AM	#9
Crypto1976 Pregnant (Expecting) Inactive Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Scotland Posts: 2,820	I am not sure what you mean about him not being involved in the planning of the pregnancy- did he know you were both trying?

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