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Old Jul 17th, 2017, 08:56 AM   11
Lyd
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I'm in the UK and my 12 week scan was also the day of my booking appointment so my husband came with me (Both times). they did make him wait in the waiting room first while they asked me a few questions then they invited him in. He only went with me because it was my 12 week scan.



 
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Old Jul 17th, 2017, 11:27 AM   12
Fire_fly
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My partner came to the booking appointment both times but they don't really need to if you can answer their medical side for them in your book. It's upto the couple really which you prefer to do.



 
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Old Jul 17th, 2017, 12:24 PM   13
ClairAye
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My ex didn't either time. It's just paperwork and here (Scotland) we get given our notes so I took them home and had him fill in any questions about him.



 
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Old Jul 17th, 2017, 12:35 PM   14
rebeccalouise
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I had mine today, DH couldn't come because of work! He wasn't needed though, was fine just being me. Literally all paperwork, some bloods, and a urine test. He'll come to my scans though. X



 
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Old Jul 17th, 2017, 13:25 PM   15
loeylo
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My partner came to every single appointment with me and will continue to do so for future pregnancies. I think he maybe missed one appointment actually. I think it's really important they feel involved. In the U.K. Men are entitled to paid time off work for prenatal appointments. They sent my partner to the car for the last 10 seconds and quickly confirmed there was no domestic violence. They did the mental health questions with us both there.



 
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Old Jul 17th, 2017, 21:19 PM   16
spunky84
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With my first, dh went to the first few. The first one, with her being our first, have dh a chance to ask questions and meet our midwife. He went to the dating scan and anatomy scan.

He didn't go to the other appts after the first 2 or 3 since out was the same thing, and wasn't much of a deal. We were both fine with this. During nny 41st week, he went to both appts to see what was going to be happening about induction if needed. The first appt that week was a nst and then the second we made the decision for induction (was given the option of giving it another 24 hours). So it was nice to have him there so we could decide together.

With our second, he went to the first appt and that was it (other than the anatomy scan).

This one he hasn't gone to any. With this one he has a different job and it's not as easy for him to go (been work time and our 2 kids). Plus his job With the first 2 was 5 minutes away vs 20-25. Plus we've already been through this twice, so we're both fine with him not going (just the 2 of the 3 scans).

It's really a personal decision, and as long as you're both on the same page.

It depends on if you want him there for the first appt / he wants to be at the first appt.

It's nice because they can ask questions and can hear whatever the provider has to say at the first appt, but i don't think it's a huge deal if they don't go. Really, it's up to whatever makes you both happy and comfortable.



 
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Old Jul 18th, 2017, 08:02 AM   17
Talia12
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I'd say if it's a question of him taking time off work or whatever, it's not really an unmissable appointment. It's pretty boring, you don't get to do/see/hear anything exciting, and it can take forever! Of course if he wants to or you want him to, then great! But he won't miss much if he doesn't go. My husband came with me to my first booking in appointment but not in my next two pregnancies because he was working and it really wasn't worth taking time off and driving over for.



 
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Old Jul 19th, 2017, 05:13 AM   18
rebeccalouise
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Quote:
Originally Posted by loeylo View Post
My partner came to every single appointment with me and will continue to do so for future pregnancies. I think he maybe missed one appointment actually. I think it's really important they feel involved. In the U.K. Men are entitled to paid time off work for prenatal appointments. They sent my partner to the car for the last 10 seconds and quickly confirmed there was no domestic violence. They did the mental health questions with us both there.
Not as easy as this when they're in the military. If they're told they're working, they're working.



 
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Old Jul 19th, 2017, 05:33 AM   19
loeylo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rebeccalouise View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by loeylo View Post
My partner came to every single appointment with me and will continue to do so for future pregnancies. I think he maybe missed one appointment actually. I think it's really important they feel involved. In the U.K. Men are entitled to paid time off work for prenatal appointments. They sent my partner to the car for the last 10 seconds and quickly confirmed there was no domestic violence. They did the mental health questions with us both there.
Not as easy as this when they're in the military. If they're told they're working, they're working.
Okay but most people's partners don't, I don't know anyone in real life who does. I personally couldn't be with someone in the military, respect to those people who can but it would be too much for me to deal with.



 
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Old Jul 19th, 2017, 06:09 AM   20
MindUtopia
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Agreed that the whole 'taking time off for appointments' thing is not as easy as it sounds on paper. My husband is self-employed. Taking time off for appointments means cancelling client meetings and lost income. He is his business and there isn't anyone who can just take over if he takes a morning off. No one's paying him if he takes time off (He doesn't get paid paternity leave either for that matter as that doesn't exist when for people who are self-employed, so every day counts for him to save up for after the birth. He took a month off last time anyway and will do so again this time, which is really when it matters as far as supporting me and bonding time). Anyway, I'd rather have him home in the evenings giving me a break from cooking/cleaning and having dinner with us than having to work a late night to make up for lost earnings or to satisfy a promise to a client.

Even with me, I can take off whatever I want for midwife appointments and scans, but it's not like 'free time'. I'm an academic (work for a university) and my work is project based. The deadlines don't disappear just because I'm pregnant and need to see the midwife. When I had my booking, I still had to work late that evening to make up for the lost time because the same amount of work needs to get done in a day to make external deadlines for our project. I think make it as easy as you can on both of you and if you or he have loads of time to take off, great, but if it's ultimately going to mean more work stress or having to work later in the evening, it's totally not worth it. They're mostly boring appointments and nothing much happens except for the scans.



 
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