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Old Aug 6th, 2017, 06:10 AM   1
Pixie2982
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Is this normal ?


Hi, I've been trying for 7 years on and off

But now I'm pregnant I feel like I don't want it at all and some days I forget I'm pregnant at all
I've had an early scan and seen heartbeat and my feelings haven't changed
And I have no clue what's going on or why I'm feeling like this, as I've longed for this baby for so long only to feel like I really don't want it now that it's happened
And I'm crying everyday and can't find myself being happy about being pregnant
I've even had abortion and adoption on my mind some days
I feel like I'm going crazy !

Are these normal feelings ?



 
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Old Aug 6th, 2017, 06:57 AM   2
xkirstyx
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I think it is normal hunny. Well I felt the same way when I was about 7/8 weeks and starting to feel better now. I think for me it was also because for my loss I had in Jan and I was scared to get so attached again. X



 
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Old Aug 6th, 2017, 07:34 AM   3
maryanne1987
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It can be normal. I've had days where I've sat thinking what have I done? How will I manage? I must admit it does pass though and most of the time I'm very happy about adding another. I think if it's getting to the point where it's really affecting you and it's an all the time thing it might be a good idea to speak to a doctirvor midwife. Antenatal depression is a very real thing and it's nothing to be ashamed of. It's especially common in women who have struggled to conceive or who have experienced losses. If you feel this is a bit more than just a now and again thing then please don't suffer in silence. There's so much help available. One of my clients suffered so badly with it but now she's a happy mum to a 3 month old. Hope you start to feel better soon.



 
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Old Aug 6th, 2017, 07:58 AM   4
sevenofnine
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You're not going crazy. I'm not sure if it's the hormones or what, but both last pregnancy and now this one, I am severely unhappy for the longest time. I don't feel like myself, I don't feel happy, I don't want to share the news, I don't want a baby... and many other thoughts.

I started to feel better and more like myself after week 20, but honestly it could be sooner or later. Just hang in there.

For me, I know part of it is anxiety that something will go wrong.



 
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Old Aug 6th, 2017, 15:12 PM   5
kewpie
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Hey Pixie, I would definitely talk to your doctor about having a chat with someone - my friend has been suffering antenatal depression and has finally started talking with someone at 30 weeks. I have had feelings of ambivalence too (even though mine is also very much wanted) and I am planning to go have a chat with a professional. My friend advised me not to wait too long as it's best to get onto it early. Thinking of you!



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Old Aug 6th, 2017, 18:09 PM   6
Pixie2982
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kewpie View Post
Hey Pixie, I would definitely talk to your doctor about having a chat with someone - my friend has been suffering antenatal depression and has finally started talking with someone at 30 weeks. I have had feelings of ambivalence too (even though mine is also very much wanted) and I am planning to go have a chat with a professional. My friend advised me not to wait too long as it's best to get onto it early. Thinking of you!
I did forget to add that I've been trying for 7 years so is very much wanted but I really have no idea why it feels so wrong at the same time :/



 
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Old Aug 6th, 2017, 19:46 PM   7
kewpie
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Oh totally, I saw in your original post you said you had longed for it for a long time so I wasn't in any doubt!

Whether it's prenatal depression or just hormones doing weird things, it can't hurt to talk it over with someone qualified who might be able to tell the difference and get to the cause of what you're feeling. Even just talking it over can help get the feelings out.



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Old Aug 7th, 2017, 02:32 AM   8
laura109
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Good old hormones but if you feel down for much longer soeak to
Your doctor. Its strange really i felt down for the first 12 weeks of knowing with both pregancies. I felt like I couldn't understand people wanting another. It was the general feeling of the first trimester for me. Feeling sick feeling drained feeling tired. Not having the energy to go out, not having the energy to clean up. Not being able to eat healthy and do my usual walks. This time i had bleeds too. I also feel alot more emotional in pregnancy and unsupported mmby parents etc. but then at 16 weeksish i started to feel good again. Both times.

It depends really if you feel rubbish and its getting you down or if you genuinely feel flat. Give yourself time. Maybe try look at things that you are excited about like outfits and names. But if its really not feeling right you do need some advice. Its a scary time for women. The fears of miscarriage and life changing and coping eith body changes etc can all leave you feeling abit panicked or lost. I hope you feel better soon x



 
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Old Aug 7th, 2017, 07:25 AM   9
MindUtopia
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I think it can be normal, but if sounds like your are having an especially extreme and difficult case of it, if that makes sense. This baby was very much wanted, but I got pregnant right after a miscarriage. So we were obviously trying and generally very grateful it all happened so soon, but my first thought really was, what have I done? I wasn't really excited. I was worried and in shock (I truly didn't think I was pregnant, even though I felt awfully sick). Even still there have been days when I've just wished I didn't have to deal with any of this. I had about a week of bleeding right around the time we found out about the mc last time, which was nothing (I had two scans which showed all looked great), but my feeling really was that I was on this train now that I couldn't get off of and I wasn't 100% sure I wanted to be on it anymore, for fear of going through all that heartbreak again. Even yesterday we saw friends for the first time who have just had a baby who is only a few weeks old. It really hit me that we're going to do that all again and I felt really down about it all. The first weeks with my daughter were quite traumatic, due to some health issues, and though we very much want another child, it's still overwhelming to think of actually doing it. I think that's generally completely normal, especially if you've had a difficult time in the past with fertility or loss. But when you've never done any of this before, you also don't have the benefit of hindsight. I do at least know it will get better and that's reassuring. I would say definitely don't feel like this is abnormal, but also don't let it get so bad that it's eating away at you and you feel you can't cope before you get some support if you think you need it.



 
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Old Aug 7th, 2017, 09:11 AM   10
karoolia
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I agree with others that this is normal, but also that you don't have to suffer just because it's normal. Talk to your doctor and/or look into counseling. I think a lot of women feel this way and either hide it because they are ashamed or they think "it's just hormones and I shouldn't complain".



 
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